Holly and The Boys

my advice to anderson on his 13th birthday

2012-01-26T12:03:00.002-05:00

This past November, Anderson turned 13. It was a significant birthday to me. In the Jewish culture, the Bar Mitzvah ritual occurs at 13 and signifies that a boy has now become responsible for his own actions. We are not Jewish, but being a Christian, I am intrigued by my spiritual roots, and I have a deep desire to better understand Jewish history. So, with that in mind, we did not have a ceremony, but we did tell Anderson on his 13th birthday that he was now considered a young man, that he would be given more responsibility but also more opportunity and freedom. Along with that, I wrote him a list of every bit of advice I wanted him to know as he grows into a young man and eventually leads a life independent of our daily guidance.

Here is what I had to share with him. What I thought intially might be 30 random thoughts turned into 122. I am posting them more for myself than anything else, so that if they are lost, I know where I can find them, and so that I can pass them on to Bennett in 8 years, too. (Only by then, I should be wiser and have even more to add.)

1. You are responsible for doing two things in life: Loving God and loving others. That’s it. It’s really that simple.
2. You don’t have to go far looking for trouble. It is always lurking, waiting for a willing participant.
3. Guard your mind vigilantly. Thoughts easily turn into actions. The more you think purely, the easier it is to live purely.
4. As a male, you were designed to notice the beauty of a woman. It incites a desire for intimacy with her that guarantees the human race continues! This is all part of God’s plan. But until you are married and can follow that desire, guard your eyes. Don’t let a fleeting thought become a fantasy you daydream about. Remember that while you can’t control what tempts you nor can you control a fleeting thought, you can control what you think on, what you meditate on, what you give attention to. The world will offer you plenty of temptation. You will give yourself a beautiful gift if you do all you can to flee it.
5. When it comes to sex, remember that God created it. It is His idea, so your interest in girls and your attraction to them is totally normal. But He created sex to be shared between a married man and woman. Having sex outside of the boundaries God has set will only bring heartache and trouble. My grandpa told my dad, “You can get into more trouble in a few minutes than you can get out of in a life time.” He was so right.
6. Choose your circle of friends wisely. “If you run with the dogs, you’ll smell like the dogs.” Bad company corrupts good character.
7. Don’t procrastinate. The list of things to do only piles up and makes you feel overwhelmed.
8. My mom always said, “Nothing good happens after midnight.” I think generally this is the truth.
9. Always keep your word. If you say you will do something, do it.
10. Forgive everything. No matter how horrible the act done against you is, it is not too great for the grace of God to cover. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself so that you don’t carry the burden of bitterness. It opens the door to healing. You cannot heal until you forgive. My mom says, “Bitterness is the poison you drink hoping it will kill somebody else.” Forgiveness doesn’t say what the person has done is okay nor does it mean that you forget it. It simply acknowledges that the sin has been paid in full by Jesus so you don’t have to exact revenge or bring it to justice. Forgiveness frees you from the act done against you so that you can move on with your life.
11. Remember that everything you see and perceive is through the lens of your own life experience and beliefs. Sometimes we see clearly; sometimes we don’t. Ask God to help you see things the way He does. When we see through His eyes, then we have the right perspective.
12. Be a loyal friend. Don’t ever say something about a friend behind his back that you haven’t already said to his face.
13. Be honest. Always tell the truth. Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.” It requires too much energy and memory to live a lie. And as you get older, all of those things fade. So in the end, most of the time people are going to know whether you told the truth or not. Even Jesus said, “All things hidden will come to light. There is nothing hidden that will not be made known.”
14. Remember the importance of tact and delivery. The truth might hurt sometimes, but you can do your best to cushion the blow by being as tactful and as caring as possible with your delivery.
15. Work hard. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart. Hard work really does pay off, and people take notice and respect you when you do.
16. Hard work can reap the greatest rewards. The best accomplishments of your life will probably be hard fought, and that is as it should be. Working hard teaches you discipline and strengthens you.
17. Make time for play and for rest on a weekly basis. Even God rested on the seventh day. It is arrogant and foolish to think you can handle more than God.
18. Exercise regularly. I think working out at least five days a week is good. You don’t have to spend a lot of time doing it. A half of an hour is sufficient. But get your heart racing, your blood pumping, your lungs heaving. It’s good for your body, soul and spirit. And it cuts your risk of disease significantly and can prolong your life.
19. Be a good steward of your body. You only get one on this earth. Take good care of it—eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep at night.
20. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Remember that it is better to take proper care of your body than to heal it. Never take your good health for granted. It is a precious gift.
21. When it comes to your diet, remember that “everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” Cookies, soda, fried foods, etc. are okay in moderation. But it is wise for the bulk of your diet to consist of whole foods—foods that are straight from the earth. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and lean meat. Drink lots of water, and remember that milk really does a body good.
22. When it comes to alcohol, remember a wise man knows his limitations. Don’t get drunk. You’ll likely look like a fool, and hangovers are horrible.
23. When at a crossroads and unsure of which road to choose, seek wise and godly counsel from people who will tell you truth no matter what. And if neither road feels right, stay put or back up a bit. God has a way of illuminating the path if you just wait for Him to do so. His timing is impeccable.
24. Never feel guilty for taking a nap.
25. Always keep an umbrella, a flash light, a spare tire, and jumper cables in your car.
26. When it comes to finding a job, determine what it is you love to do, and then try to find a way to make a good living doing it. Never take a job just for the money unless you are absolutely desperate and need to survive. Seek a job that you truly enjoy, that brings excitement to you. If you love what you do, you’ll likely be great at it. And if you are great at it, you can probably make a living doing it. (And remember, you may not always love going to work, but if at the end of a day you find satisfaction in what you have accomplished, then you won’t mind showing up for work the next day.)
27. If you can’t find a way to get paid to do what you love the most, then always have a hobby that you enjoy and set aside time to do it regularly.
28. When choosing a girl to date seriously, only choose one that you could actually see yourself marrying one day based on what you know about her. You never know whom you might fall in love with. And you don’t want to fall in love with the wrong girl.
29. Until you find the woman that you know you are meant to marry, guard your heart very carefully. Remember that most relationships that are formed before you are 20 end in break ups. Don’t give your heart to someone who is not going to cherish it and treat it delicately.
30. When choosing a wife, take a good, long look at her family. Remember that she was raised by those people, and they have affected her greatly—both positively and negatively. They have given her love, or they may have given her a gaping hole that needs to be filled. They have given her confidence, or they may have given her insecurity. None of us are perfect. All of us need healing from living in a fallen world. But when it comes to choosing the women with whom you want to share your life’s journey, you want to choose someone who is carrying as little baggage as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t marry someone with a troubled “past”. It just means that if they have one, make sure they have taken the necessary steps to heal and move on from it.
31. Remember that when you marry someone, you also marry their family. Holidays and significant events will be shared with them. Before you say “I do”, accept them for who they are and don’t expect them to change. No expectations=no disappointments.
32. When you get married, don’t expect your wife to change. Make sure she doesn’t expect you to change either. These kinds of unmet expectations can be devastating to your relationship.
33. When you get married, remember that your marriage is your priority. Don’t even let your children come before it. If you both put each other first, then your children will be blessed because they will feel secure. Plus, when you are happily married, you can partner in parenting together much more efficiently. And God forbid if a child strays from the instruction they have been given by you, they will not be able to rip your marriage apart.
34. When you get married, remember that a woman always needs to find ways to bring beauty into her world. Allow her to do that. Her decorating, redecorating, change of hair styles, desire to buy new clothes, gardening, bright ideas to change the house and yard which require help from you, etc., may drive you nuts, but remember that it makes her very, very happy.
35. When you have a family of your own, be very present in every aspect of their lives. Your love will greatly help your children understand and accept the love of their Heavenly Father. Don’t let work or other activities take precedence over them or your wife. Remember that they are looking to you to determine whether or not they are lovable, acceptable, and good enough. Do all you can to tell them that they are. When you get married, kiss your wife every day, look into her eyes, and tell her you love her.
36. Keep in mind that a woman likes to be told regularly that she is beautiful. And she needs to feel like you really mean it when you say it.
37. When you get married, remember that little things can say “I love you” in a big way. Doing the dishes after dinner, giving her a back rub while you watch tv, putting the kids in bed, calling home to see if you can bring home dinner, etc. all make her feel like you really do care for her.
38. Gary Chapman says there are five ways that people give and receive love: Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. Before you get married, know how you best give and receive love and how your future wife gives and receives it. Realize you may not show love the same way. When you know how to love her best and she knows how to love you best, you will really know what it is to have a happy marriage.
39. When you have kids, don’t think that you can treat them exactly the same way. You can’t. You should parent them with the same principles, standards, and faith, but you have to parent them uniquely because they will all be unique individuals. For some children, you have to be more stern; for others, more gentle. You have to learn what inspires them, what motivates them, what makes them feel loved, what makes them feel scared, what makes them insecure, what makes them feel confident. Knowing these things helps you parent them specifically so you can best meet their needs and train them up in the way that they should go.
40. Don’t take the easy way out unless you are in a burning building. Then by all means do so.
41. In life, you will have trouble from time to time. Trials are guaranteed. But remember what Jesus said: “I have overcome the world.” Trials are meant to last for a little while, to strengthen you, to build your faith, and to remind you that you need God.
42. Give thanks in all things. Even in hard times, it is important to stay grateful. If anything, it keeps your attitude in check. And nothing may be worse for an already bad situation than a rotten attitude.
43. Guard what you think and what you say. Remember that as a man thinks, so he is. And words have power. The Bible says, “The power of life and death is in the tongue.” Think positively. Speak positively. Let your words be empowered by your faith. You will be amazed at how powerful they really are.
44. Never accept less than God’s best for your life. Regardless of what the world tells you, what your experiences have taught you, or what your emotions may be screaming at you during difficult times, God really is FOR you, never against you. He wants the best for you—physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and financially.
45. Never underestimate the value of having to wait. You learn endurance and perseverance which will benefit you greatly in life. Remember that you will reap what you have sown if you don’t grow weary. In this world of fast food, microwave dinners, one hour photos, drive thru pharmacies, and worldwide transportation, we have forgotten that not every good thing can be gained nor every need be met in an instant.
46. When you leave home, call your mother. Remember that not a day goes by that she isn’t missing you. Eighteen years of her life were poured into preparing you to fly the nest. Bear with her when she forgets that you were meant to grow wings and fly away.
47. Keep your dorm, apartment, house, etc. clean. Contrary to the old adage, I don’t believe cleanliness is next to godliness. But filth is from the devil. A cluttered space causes a cluttered mind, but an organized one helps foster a peaceful mind.
48. God doesn’t judge by outward appearances, but people sure do. Dress nicely. Don’t look sloppy. Look neat and clean. You never know who is watching and judging. It may very well be your future boss or father-in-law or professor.
49. Pay attention in school, and always do your best. If I could do it all over again, I would have really paid attention to what I was learning in school. Instead, I just learned it to get through it, to graduate, to get a degree. Now, I wish I had really learned everything that I could so that I would now understand more than I do. Never take your education for granted. Remember that there are still millions of children around the world who would give anything to be able to go to school. Remember them every time you are tempted to skip class.
50. Floss your teeth regularly and brush at least twice a day. I heard once that people who floss on average live six years longer than those who don’t. I don’t know if that is true, but I do know that problems in your mouth easily translate to problems in your body. Keep your mouth clean and healthy.
51. Wear sunscreen. You will thank me when you are 40.
52. Every time you get the chance, dance. It is good for the body and great for the soul.
53. Be sure to sing in the car and in the shower. Those are two places where you don’t care how you sound, and when you don’t care, that is when your soul can really sing.
54. Learn how to cook. It impresses most women. But more importantly, it will help you take good care of yourself. Plus, it really is a pleasurable thing when you learn how to do it properly.
55. Travel every time you get the chance. It is fun to get to see new places, new cultures, new people. And it always reminds you that home is really the best place on earth.
56. Save money. Don’t live paycheck to paycheck. Always put at least 10% of your paycheck away.
57. Never, ever, ever, ever keep a balance on a credit card. You absolutely must pay it off every month. Period. No exceptions.
58. Be generous. My daddy always said, “You can’t out-give God.” It is a principle that as you give, you will receive.
59. Tithe. But not because you have to. Do it with a cheerful heart knowing that as you give you will also receive. As you grow older you realize that giving really is more fun than getting.
60. New cars are so nice, but always keep in mind that they are not investments. It loses its value the moment you drive it off the lot.
61. Always hold the door for others, especially for women. Open and close her car door, too. Never let anyone tell you that this is old-fashioned. Some things should NEVER go out of style. Good manners are an example of this.
62. Say yes ma’am and yes sir to your elders. If they tell you don’t have to say that, tell them that you do because you are a good Southern boy and your mama told you that you have to.
63. Cough and sneeze on the bend of your arm, not on your hands.
64. If you are sick and running a fever, stay home. When you are a father, if your kids are running a fever, make sure they stay home. It isn’t fair to others for you to venture out while you are knowingly contagious.
65. Visit the elderly when you can. Remember that they need love and attention, and a little bit goes a long way.
66. Smile as often as possible at everyone, including strangers. It is amazing what a smile can do for another human being.
67. Take time regularly to enjoy the beauty of creation—watch a sunset, gaze at the stars, watch a meteor shower, stroll through a garden, walk on a beach, take a hike in the woods, go rowing on a lake. It reminds you of how big God really is and how blessed you are to belong to Him.
68. Never underestimate the power of the ocean. Enjoy it and respect it. If you are ever caught in a current, let it take you out until you feel like you can swim horizontal to the beach and make your way back to shore. Fighting currents will only wear you out and put you at greater risk of drowning.
69. Be a good neighbor. Serve your neighbors whenever you can, but remember not to visit them too often. Everyone needs their own space and privacy. Teach your children this as well.
70. Only buy a pet if you can afford to properly care for it and give it the time and attention it truly needs. Thoroughly research what it requires to own the kind of animal you want before you make the commitment to care for it. If in doubt, don’t have a pet.
71. Never take anything that doesn’t belong to you. If you find something, try to find its owner. Remember that when you lose something, you want an honest person to find it and return it. Be that person.
72. If you are standing in a grocery line with a cart full of groceries and the person behind you has far less groceries to buy than you do, let them go in front of you. It is just the right thing to do.
73. If someone is rude to you, it is okay to confront them about it. You can do this without being mean. For example, if the girl at the checkout counter cops an attitude with you because she has to do a price check, you can say something like this: “Are you having a bad day? Is something wrong?” She will either acknowledge this, at which point you will probably have compassion for her, or she will catch on to the fact that you are noticing her attitude and will likely change it. If she doesn’t do either of those things, you can always tell her that you’d like to speak to her manager to give them some feedback on the service you are receiving. That usually works. Bad behavior shouldn’t be ignored but should be dealt with immediately in the most loving way possible. Remember that as you raise your children. We don’t do anyone any favors by allowing them to behave badly. Also keep in mind that “a kind answer turns away wrath”.
74. Pay your taxes, even when it is an ungodly amount. Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s. But if Caesar continues to be a thief, do all you can to vote in candidates who will keep Caesar in check.
75. Always vote. It is a blessing and privilege that should not be forsaken.
76. Don’t rely on the government for anything. Its job isn’t to provide but to protect. Those who live off the government are enslaved to it.
77. Give to the poor, especially to the widow and to the orphan. They will always be with us, but it is our duty to help care for them.
78. Never purchase anything impulsively. It rarely turns out to be a good decision. If you want something, wait a full 24 hours before purchasing it. After 24 hours, if you still want it, buy it.
79. Don’t be a pack rat. Remember one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, so pass along stuff you don’t use. Make a trip to Goodwill or other ministry at least twice a year. Never let your attic or basement be full of stuff. A good rule of thumb: If you haven’t needed it, used it or worn it in a year, get rid of it.
80. When you own a home, take good care of it by maintaining it, keeping it in great condition. Remember that for most people their house is their greatest and best investment. You never know when you may need to sale your house. If you have maintained it, you won’t spend thousands of dollars and countless hours of your life preparing for it to go on the market.
81. Take a moment each day to be grateful. Thank God for your life, for your loved ones, for anything that comes to mind. A grateful heart is a humble and happy one.
82. When you employ and/or manage people, be good to them, care for them. Treat them as you would want a boss to treat you. Reward them well for good work. Positively encourage them. Get to know them well so that you know what motivates them, inspires them, and blesses them. Don’t be afraid to reprimand or correct them. Constructive criticism is the only way to really learn and get better. If they don’t take it well at first, remind them that you would never critique something that you didn’t fully believe they were entirely capable of correcting and doing well.
83. Receive criticism humbly and thoughtfully. Carefully consider it. Remember that it is what makes you better. Never think you are above being critiqued. No one is.
84. Maintain a humble heart. Never think more highly of yourself than you ought. Never think that you are better than another human being. We are all human, we all fall short, and without God’s grace, we would all be hopelessly lost.
85. Always make your bed. It just makes your room look more neat and clean.
86. Never let your laundry pile up. There may be no less enjoyable way to spend a day than to spend it doing laundry. Do a little every day or two and you will be glad you did.
87. You may be the only one who generally sees your underwear and sock with holes in it, but you never know what might transpire in a day. Like I said before, God doesn’t judge by outward appearances, but people do. Toss out socks and underwear with holes in them.
88. It is always better to get to the root of a problem and yank it out than to put a bandage on it. This applies to problems in your life, in your relationships, and in your health. Remember that while a bandage may be a quick and easier solution, it is never intended to heal anything, and it is only temporary. Remember, if there is a root, it will eventually bear fruit. And in your life, you want bad roots to be identified and yanked out so that true healing can transpire.
89. Don’t be quick to pop a pill when you don’t feel well. Always try to determine what is at the root of your ailments so that you can do little things, like changing your habits, your diet, etc., to get complete healing.
90. Never forsake your love for the written word. Read books as often as you can. When you are reading you are learning, using the gift of your imagination, being inspired.
91. Read the Bible regularly. It helps you know the character of the God you have put your faith in, gives wisdom, shines light into dark places, empowers, instructs, and provides encouragement. There is no better book you can read than this.
92. Pray without ceasing. Remember that we can’t see the power of our prayers. We forsake the gift that we have been given way too easily. When we pray, things change. God hears and moves on our behalf. When you are praying about something, pray until you feel the Spirit whisper that it is done. Never give up praying for something until God says you should.
93. As a member of the body of Christ, do not forsake the gathering of believers. We were created for relationships—with God and with each other. Remember that your relationship with other believers is highly important, so do not forget to meet with them regularly to encourage and to be encouraged.
94. You may be tempted to curse the roadblocks in your life. Just remember that those hindrances can be blessings meant to protect us, redirect us, teach us, or turn us around completely. Instead of cursing them, bless them and give thanks for them. And if they were sent to distract or delay you, you can simply pray them down. Don’t be afraid to speak to the mountain and tell it to move. With God on your side, nothing is impossible for you.
95. Look for the silver lining in every dark cloud. Every cloud has one. You just have to be willing to search for it.
96. Take pictures often and journal regularly. You think you will remember. Trust me, you won’t.
97. Show mercy. Remember you have been shown it and are in need of it, too.
98. Practice justice. Be fair in all you do.
99. Remember that money can be squandered far more quickly that it was earned. Spend wisely.
100. If you receive a substantial inheritance, remember that someone worked hard for that money, even if you did not. Invest it wisely, spend it carefully. While you can’t take it to Heaven with you, you also don’t want it to run out before you get there.
101. Be a good steward of the earth. Don’t litter. Don’t waste water or electricity. Remember that natural resources are precious commodities that should be used wisely, not wastefully.
102. Don’t be afraid. While fear is a natural part of life, you weren’t created to live with fear. You were meant to overcome it. I’ve heard that the Bible says “Fear not” at least 365 times, so that is at least one command for every day of the year. True or not, when you know God, there is nothing to be afraid of. He is a good Shepherd Who will always care for you, His lamb, and will lead you through the valleys of the shadow of death to the green pastures by the still waters. You can count on that.
103. Especially do not be afraid of the devil. He is a liar who wants you to fear him, but he knows that all his power is contained inside whatever lie he can get you to believe. Don’t believe him. Believe God. Believe Him when He says, “Greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world.” The Greatest Power in the universe resides inside you. That is no small thing. You are empowered to overcome everything you ever face as long as you cling to the Source of that power.
104. When you find a good barber, a good mechanic, a good doctor and a good lawyer, stay loyal to them. They are hard to come by. (And since you may very well become a lawyer, I already know you’ll be one of the good ones.)
105. When choosing a doctor for yourself or for loved ones, choose one who really listens to the patient, who takes time to be thorough, who doesn’t think they know everything but is willing to search out a matter, who can admit when they don’t know the answer, who isn’t offended by second opinions, and who is open to natural remedies. Modern medicine is a wonderful gift, but it doesn’t provide the solution to every ailment. God, however, can. Remember to always seek the Great Physician first.
106. Never ever be afraid of who you are but be confident in being YOU. You are uniquely and wonderfully made. There is only one YOU, and you were sent to this earth with a purpose. In fact, in the history of this world, no one else has ever been you nor will ever be you. God will reflect Himself to this world through you in a way He has never expressed before nor will He ever express again because He made you special—uniquely YOU. Remember that when you are tempted to feel inadequate, less than, defective, or devalued.
107. Remember that no one can make you feel anything. If a person makes you feel less than, it is because you have already felt that maybe you aren’t good enough. When you know who you really are—a child of God destined before the creation of the world, wholly loved and accepted—no one can convince you otherwise.
108. Don’t let other people tell you who you are. Let God tell you that. And when you believe Him, your life will testify to people as to whom you really are. And they will be far more likely to believe you.
109. Never let a desire to be liked or accepted dictate your actions or decisions. Let what you know in your heart is right dictate that. In the end, you may be respected, even if you aren’t liked by everyone.
110. Don’t waste time worrying about what other people think about what you do as long as you know in your heart that what you are doing is right before God.
111. The adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is absolutely not true. You can stick a knife into a word and pierce someone’s heart with it. Be careful what you say, especially when you are angry. People may forget that you were angry. But they may never forget how you hurt them in your anger. Do all you can not to leave scars in another human’s soul because of your careless words.
112. Anger is not a sin. Jesus got angry. It is what you do with your anger that matters. Let anger motivate you to forgive, to be just, to defend, to right a wrong if it is appropriate to do so. But don’t let it foster hatred or bitterness or violence. Let it have its rightful place, and then let it go quickly. And never let it linger nor let the sun go down on it.
113. Remember to show love and respect to everyone. Men will appreciate your respect. Women will appreciate your love. Both are in need of both.
114. Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they really are, believe them.” She is so right.
115. Love believes the best in people. Discernment protects you from being blinded by it.
116. Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees—self-righteousness, trying to earn God’s approval by what you do, caring about your outward appearance to others rather than dealing with what is hidden in your heart, etc. Don’t buy into the lie that you have to earn anything from God. You don’t. The riches of His inheritance are freely yours because you are His child, and nothing can change that.
117. Paul Young wrote, “Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” You can only truly trust those that you truly believe love you. Likewise, people will trust you when they feel you truly love them.
118. Often we find that different people hurt us in similar ways. But that is because pain inflicted by others only pricks a wound left by another person long ago. Forgive the person who first made you feel that kind of pain. Then you can easily forgive those who have since pricked your wound and finally heal from it all.
119. Sometimes (not often) you really should just eat dessert first.
120. When you are driving a car, your full attention really needs to be on driving. NEVER text while you are behind the wheel, and avoid talking on the phone, too.
121. Try to listen more than you speak. For you this will probably be easy. Mark Twain said, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
122. Remember that you are loved beyond measure, by God, and by me. You have never lived nor will you ever live a moment of your life where you are not 100% entirely, completely, totally and fully loved and accepted. Knowing that alone changes everything.

wedgies

2012-01-12T20:45:00.002-05:00

I hate wedgies. I don't know why boys think these are so funny. I get them occasionally while running or working out, and they drive me crazy.

But my boys, when they wrestle, will occassionally administer the classic wedgie to the other one. And while they always think it's funny and I never do, tonight was an exception.

Anderson and Bennett were wrestling before bed, and Anderson gave Bennett a wedgie--A REALLY bad one. Bennett broke away from his big bro, was visibly upset, and buried his head in his dad's lap to cry. Though the words were a bit muffled, we still managed to hear him refer to his underwear and say, "My butt swallowed it."

Paul, Anderson and I tried to laugh as quietly as possible, but Bennett detected our giggles anyway. And if you know Bennett, you know he was okay with that because he'll do just about anything for a laugh. So all was well, and the wrestling resumed. My only regret is that the incident wasn't caught on tape.

reason #63 it is hard to raise a 5 year old with a teenager

2012-01-12T20:23:00.002-05:00

We regularly talk to Anderson, our resident teenager, about how he must be very careful about what he says in front of his brother; that he has to keep his conversations within earshot of Bennett at a PG rating. His conversations with us, his parents, can be PG 13.

Anderson generally does a good job with this. But occasionally, something slips, and Bennett, being the sponge that he is, soaks it right in and inevitably repeats it.

Tonight, there was an advertisement on TV for the Miss America Pageant. Parading across our television were young, beautiful women in their two-piece bathing suits. And this is what I hear:

"They're hot! I like them in their bikinis!"

And no, it wasn't from the 13 year old.

Bennett was reprimanded for using the word "hot" when refering to pretty girls. We told him that is not an adjective he can use for many years. The same goes for the word, sexy.

And even though Bennett said, "Wow! I like that show! I want to see that!", I can assure you he most certainly will NOT be watching the Miss America Pageant this year.

smiling's my favorite

2012-01-12T18:54:00.002-05:00

Sometimes when Bennett is guilty of something that he doesn't want to tell me about, he smiles. It's a really mischievous grin, but I admit that it is cute. So every time I ask him, "Bennett, why are you smiling?", he doesn't miss a beat and says, "Because I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite."

When I see this photo, I think smiling's my favorite, too.

lucky number 13

2012-01-10T22:15:00.002-05:00

We've all heard that the number thirteen is an unlucky number. Well, we beg to differ.

A significant event occurred in Anderson's life last month--on December 13th, to be exact. In fact, he happened to be exactly 13 years and 13 days old when it happened.

He was playing golf with his dad and got his first HOLE IN ONE! It was at Eagle Ridge on #4. It was a 106 yard drive that he hit with a wedge. He and his daddy were over-the-moon excited about this feat. It was such a sweet experience for them to share together.

democrats and drunks, according to bennett

2012-01-10T20:46:00.003-05:00

Today, I was driving with Bennett and Paul (who is sick with a horrible sore throat, bless his heart) to pick up Anderson from school. We were running behind, and as always seems to happen when I am behind schedule, I was driving behind a slow poke. I was on a two-lane road behind a man who thought 30 mph in a 45 was perfectly acceptable, which may have been a safer choice since he was constantly fiddling with something in the side and back seats while driving which caused him to swerve repeatedly.

Needless to say, I was frustrated, and in my frustration I said, "Come on, dude, DRIVE for heaven's sake." Bennett pipes up from the back seat, "That guy's drunk. He's a democrat."

Huh?

"He's a drunk. He's a democrat."

After some prodding, we discovered that Bennett didn't really know what it meant to be drunk or a democrat. When I asked him what a democrat was, he said, "It's people who are bad."

Being the parents we are, we explained what being drunk really meant and what a democrat was and that they are not (necessarily) bad people. Kinda. Okay, so maybe we didn't convince Bennett that democrats aren't bad.

But he totally understands that you have to drink a lot of alcohol to be drunk.

cookies with santa pics

2012-01-07T19:53:00.001-05:00

Santa (aka Granddaddy) with Bennett and Anderson. It was so warm on the 23rd, we had to have Santa sit on the screened-in-porch.

Santa with Jackson, Richie (his friend) and my boys.

Santa and Mrs. Claus (my dad and mom)

Bennett, Santa and me

Santa with my friend Lori's two children, Grant and Brooke

Santa with Danielle, Michelle's daughter

Santa with my cousin, Leah, and her son was Davis

Santa with the Osborns

Santa with Lauren

Santa with Foster

Santa and Mrs. Claus with Denise and her family

My childhood friends and college roomies

Santa and Mrs. Claus with all the kiddies

Santa with the Faucettes

Santa with Bennett and Cole

pictures from the holidays--2011

2012-01-07T19:39:00.000-05:00

2011 and its happy holidays

2012-01-07T18:11:00.005-05:00

Thanksgiving and Christmas 2011 were especially fun for us. But I have to admit, beginning with the week before Thanksgiving when I start decorating the house for Christmas to New Year's Eve, there was constant activity at the Brewer house. It was a bit tiring. And we loved it and wouldn't have had it any other way.

The Friday before Thanksgiving, we hosted Anderson's best buddies at our house to drive go carts at an indoor racing facility nearby and then spend the night. The boys had so much fun together, as always, and Paul is always Dad-of-the-Year for entertaining them all.

The Monday before Thanksgiving, we celebrated with my family at Mom and Dad's house. We opted out of the traditional turkey and chose to have a potluck of some of our favorite dishes. The food, the company, and the setting were all perfect.

On Wednesday we headed to Greensboro to be with Paul's side of the family. We wanted to get a few days in at Grammy's, so we left a day early and came home on Friday. This was the first holiday since their home had been renovated so that all 31 of us can eat in the same room. That's right--all 31 of us were able to eat in the same room. At tables. With a proper place setting for each person. It was WONDERFUL. We stayed in the dining room almost the entire day, eating (a lot), drinking (a little), and playing cards. It was truly a perfect day. And we even managed to snap a quick photo of the boys for our Christmas cards.

The following Wednesday, the 30th, was Anderson's 13th birthday. What a special day in our family. Anderson officially entered "young manhood", and Paul and I officially became parents to a teenager--a wonderful, remarkable, mature and loving teenager. That evening, we went to the Olive Garden (Anderson's choice--he loves the unlimited soup and breadsticks, and we don't mind because it is an inexpensive meal for him!). Jackson joined us for dinner, and afterwards, Paul and Anderson went to a NC State basketball game.

And the fun continued right into December with all kinds of events:

1. On the 10th, we attended a family reunion with my Granny's family (she had 13 brothers and sisters, if I never mentioned that before, so there is always a CROWD of people at this annual event);

2. That evening, my sister and I hosted a dinner for the cheerleaders we help coach. Meanwhile, Paul and Anderson attended a party at the golf course where Paul won "Golfer of the Year". It must be terrible to be so good at golf. :)

3. On the 17th, I hosted our annual Christmas wine party for some of my closest girlfriends, and that night never fails to be a fun and festive time.

4. The 12th and 14th were Cole and Andrew's birthdays (my niece and nephew). We love having so many Christmas babies in our family. Even if it is CRAZY here in December.

5. The 22nd was my baby sister's birthday. Mom and Dad took all of us (and most of our children) out to dinner at Kanki (my pick this year) for a delicious Japanese meal cooked right in front of us. Bennett talked our chef's ear off (his name was Lucas), but he didn't seem to mind.

6. Laura's baby, Addison, turned three on the 23rd. That night, we hosted a "Cookies with Santa and Mrs. Claus" party the day before Christmas for our friends with young children to come and visit Santa and his wife (aka Granddaddy and Granny). The kids arrive in their pajamas after dinner, eat cookies and tell Santa what they want for Christmas. This was the first of what is sure to be an annual event here at our home.

7. On Christmas Eve, we went to Aunt Bonnie's for lunch with the Bailey family, as is our tradition, and then we came back here to our house to let the kids open their gifts from one another.

8. Christmas morning, Paul decided he wanted to go to my parents' house for breakfast with my side of the family. So we did. It was delicious, and the kids had fun showing off their toys. The best toy of Christmas was a karaoke machine given to Jackson by my mom and dad. We adults had the MOST fun with that on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

9. Christmas day we headed off to Greensboro for dinner and a gift exchange for the kids.

10. The 26th--I came home with Bennett. We spent the night with my folks for two nights. I FINALLY rested. Paul and Anderson headed off to Charlotte to watch NC State play Louisville in the Belk Bowl on the 27th. Dad, Bennett and I stayed up late watching it (Bennett made it to the 3rd quarter before falling asleep). The Wolfpack won, of course, and Paul and Anderson had a wonderful time.

11. December 27th was my sister Anna's birthday. I was able to see her and celebrate with her because I was staying with Mom and Dad, and she is their neighbor.

12. December 28th--My birthday was especially sweet this year. After days of resting at my parents' house, I was able to go for a long run that morning, and that afternoon Paul and Anderson returned home to bring me sweet cards. That evening, my hubby took me shopping to buy me a new North Face ski jacket that I had my eye on and then took me out to dinner downtown. Such fun.

13. December 30th--We attended another holiday party hosted by a friend of Paul's at the golf course. It was fun, but I think I contracted the host's stomach virus. That was not fun.

14. New Year's Eve and New Year's Day came and went. We rested. We needed it. Plus, a stomach virus can eradicate any desire to celebrate.

And here we are....2012 is in full swing. And honestly, the decorations are down and stored away, and we are already missing Christmas. Can you believe it? We console ourselves with knowing that Thanksgiving is just 320 days away. And Christmas? 352 days away. The countdown is always on in our house. And with all the fun we have in November and December, why wouldn't we?

2012: the year of more posts?

2012-01-07T18:01:00.002-05:00

I am not a new year's resolution kind of girl.

That being said, I have decided that I really MUST blog more in 2012. My kids are growing up, and I am growing older. You know what that means? I can no longer remember every detail of their lives. And the only way I can give myself a fighting chance of savouring the moments is to write about them, to document them, to photograph them. And I hate scrapbooking.

Let me repeat: I HATE scrapbooking.

You Creative Memories gals, I tip my hat to you. I think it is wonderful that you look forward to your "all day crops". But when I hear the phrase or receive the invite to participate, I cringe. I feel overwhelmed. I am way too behind to even begin books for my boys. My photos (sadly and carelessly) are mostly saved on computer files. The perfectionist in me will not allow me to just throw something together, though I wish it would. And the cost of having all of those photos printed at once is so astromical that I just don't want to do it, even if I can afford it. So, a blog is the easiest, most time efficient way to document their lives. And a blog won't burn in a fire nor need to be preserved.

So....here we go, 2012. I am going to do a better job of documenting my family's life this year. I hope. And if not, well then that likely means that I was too busy living to take the time to write about it.

And I'm okay with that.

Happy new year, friends and family. May the coming year be our best yet!

school is back in session

2011-08-30T14:16:00.003-04:00

Well, summer is officially over at our house. And I don't think I am quite as sad as I thought I'd be. After a fun-filled summer, I thought I'd really grieve the passing of this season, but as it turns out, I am actually happy that fall is just a few weeks away.

This was probably one of the best summers we have had in quite awhile. It started with our cruise to the Caribbean from Charleston (two of my favorite places on earth), a long stay at the beach, many days by the pool, and days at the lake on the boat that we bought with our business partners, David and Nicole, this summer. Anderson learned to water ski and knee board, and both boys enjoy tubing. When we were home, the boys participated in a golf league and worked on their golfing skills (which now officially far exceed my own). The summer ended with a birthday party for Bennett, who turned five, at Marbles Kids Museum.

Anderson's first day of school was August 4th, and Bennett's first day of preschool was today. So both boys are officially back in school, which in my mind means that summer is officially over. Anderson is a seventh grader, he's playing quarterback for his football team, and he is almost always a happy kid. Bennett is in pre-k (one more year before kindergarten), he just started playing soccer on a team at the Y, and he continues to surprise and amuse me on a daily basis.

Both boys make me laugh, actually. Anderson was entertaining me this morning by vividly describing what he calls "the annoying girls" in his class. He was explaining that two of the girls are always asking, "Do we look alike?" And if someone answers in the affirmative, they squeal and clap excitedly and hug and then exclaim in especially loud voices things like, "Oh my gosh, you have to come over this weekend to my house! Like, I'll ask my mom and text you tonight."

Thank God he finds them annoying for now. That won't last too much longer....

Bennett had me laughing to the point of tears yesterday when he had his "Meet the Teachers Day" at school. He politely and confidently shook hands with his lead teacher, smiled and exuded his usual charm. But when it came time to meet his music teacher, we rounded the corner to the music room when he suddenly leaped behind me and peered around my hips to take a second look at the teacher. This being very unlike his typical behavior, I started giggling and asking what in the world was going on. The teacher, sensing his hesitation, asks, "Do you want to see my puppets?" Bennett adamantly shook his head no but refused to come out from behind me. He just kept one eye peered around me and set on those two large puppets sitting in the teacher's lap. Needless to say, that was a short visit. When we left, I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I don't like those puppets. They mock me."

I swear the kid has to be older than five.

He was happy to go to school today, though he did happen to mention about 20 minutes after I picked him up from school that he did cry at one point today, not long after I dropped him off. He said the assistant came over and started reading him a book about a caterpillar, and the book had holes in it, so then he was happy.

Good to know. I hope these are the last tears shed at pre-k this year.

As for me, I realized today that I wasn't so sad that school has resumed. I do miss my boys when they aren't with me, but this is the first time in a long while that I will regularly have time to myself. And I didn't realize it until recently, but I've really been missing that. Don't get me wrong--I just need a few hours. I don't want the boys gone for too long. But I am soaking up every last second of it while I have it.

Today, school only lasted for two hours for Bennett as it was a "transition day" to get the kids accustomed to their class gradually. I spent those two hours going for a run, then a short walk, then I stopped by Starbucks to celebrate the fact that I was alone, stopped by to say hi to my mother--alone, which meant our conversation was actually uninterrupted, and returned to school to find a happy boy with the sweetest smile and the cutest dimples. And I remembered why I don't want him to be gone for too long.

Stationery card

2011-08-03T12:18:00.001-04:00

Coolest Party Blue Birthday Invitation

To view our collection of birthday card designs, click here.

View the entire collection of cards.

noteworthy milestones

2011-06-26T13:13:00.004-04:00

Bennett is asking that I document the fact that he went down the red waterslide with his cousin, Cole, last week at her pool. This was, in fact, an amazing feat considering that last year, Bennett would not get near the slides at the pool. But, he and Cole have been taking swimming lessons at our pool for the past two weeks, so he has found the courage to put his head under the water and to go down the kiddie slides at the pool. In fact, he even went down one of the slides on the cruise ship, just barely making the height requirement to do so.

Here's proof:

This is Bennett racing his dad down the slides on the cruise ship.

And this is Bennett going down the slide at Cole's pool:

He is quite proud of his accomplishments.

And speaking of accomplishments, Anderson shot a 40 on 9 holes this week at the golf course. That means he could legitimately shoot an 80 on a par 72 course. Not bad for a 12 year old who, frankly, doesn't play as often as he could. He just has a God-given ability like his daddy. Paul noted after the round that if he had not been playing carefully, Anderson could have beaten him that day. I am looking forward to watching Anderson's game progress over the next few years. I believe by high school he will regularly be shooting par.

a dose of bennett funnies

2011-06-26T12:09:00.004-04:00

People tell me on a regular basis that I should write down the things that Bennett says, and I know they are right. I try to blog them from time to time, but really--he says something worth noting on a daily basis, and while the idea of carrying around a pen and pad with me is logical, it is not practical. So, I will joggle my tired and sometimes foggy brain and share a few things he has said lately.

I was feeling insecure about my looks one day as my husband and oldest son proceeded to talk about how beautiful other younger women are while (albeit unintentionally) reminding me that I am now old. You may think that I was just being sensitive as they conversed about a topic that can be a delicate one for women, and yes, I was hormonal, but the truth is that the male species can lack tact and the sensitivity chip from time to time. In other words, it wasn't just me.

Bennett, sensing my insecurity, says, "Mom, you are beautiful. You are beautiful when you dress up to go out to eat. But you know when you wake up in the morning and you have that bad smell, well, you are still pretty then, too."

I have to admit. Laughing was way better than crying, so Bennett really did make me feel ALL better.

And speaking of that bad smell, I overheard Bennett telling his big brother last week:

"Anderson, when you get a girlfriend, you do not want her to spend the night at your house because you do not want her to smell you when you wake up."

And just so you know, Bennett's idea of spending the night is sleeping in the same place, not "shacking up". What he meant was that Anderson would be horribly embarassed if anyone other than his little brother smelled his morning breath.

Yes, Bennett is quite the observant child. And this is truly a gift--noticing details--but it is not always a gift to me.

For example, I was scanning radio stations one day when the song, "Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything." For those who are not familiar, it's a song with a catchy tune and easy lyrics that you want to sing along to and that, from the onset, seems appropriate for the whole family. Until you get to the verse that talks about sex. So, as I am scanning the radio, it happens to be on that verse. As I quickly try to hit the volume to turn it down, I don't get it down in time. How Bennett knew the word I was trying to avoid him hearing, the devil knows.

Bennett says, "Sex. What's sex?"

"It is a word that little kids don't need to use because it is a grown up word."

"But what does it mean?"

"It means boy or girl, male or female. It is what you are. Another word for it is gender."

Shew. I don't know how long that definition will stick before I get more questions about why he shouldn't use a word that only means "boy or girl", but I will meanwhile be holding my breath.

A week later, the song comes on again. I manage this time to turn the song down for that verse. Bennett asks, "You didn't want to hear the word 'sex', right?"

No, Bennett. I can hear the word. I mind YOU hearing it.

I didn't say that, but that is what went through my mind.

I have blogged that Bennett can have a bit of a potty mouth, and by potty mouth I mean he likes potty words like pee and poop. Or fart. That word makes him belly laugh so hard that you can't help but laugh, too, which is absolutely contrary to the reprimand I am simultaneously trying to deliver. It's hard not to send mixed messages when you are threatening a form of discipline while shaking from laughter and biting your lip so hard you think it might bleed.

Which brings to mind two more stories.

Paul and I have always loved the TV series, "Everybody Loves Raymond". We never thought of it being something the kids couldn't see until the kids started watching it. I bought the first two seasons of the series from Target for $15 for us to watch as we drove to Charleston on our trip. Maybe not the best idea. By the end of a four hour car ride, we had this conversation with Bennett.

Bennett says, "Oh my god."

I am horrified. "Bennett! We never, ever, ever, say that. That is called taking the name of the Lord our God in vain. We only say His name when we are talking to Him or about Him. We never say it like that.

Paul says, "Just say, 'Oh my goodness.'"

Bennett says, "Holy crap." (Yeah, thanks Frank)

I say, "NO! That is another one you can't say. Just say, 'Oh my goodness.'"

For the rest of the day, Bennett continues to ask this question:

"So I can't say 'oh my god' or 'holy crap'? I have to say, 'oh my goodness'"?

"Right. You just say, 'oh my goodness.' And don't ask me again what you can't say. Only ask me what you can say because I know you are asking me that question over and over again just so you can get away with saying what you aren't supposed to say!"

Talk about the appeal of forbidden fruit. It reminds me of the time I let Anderson say every bad word he knew in 10 seconds just to show him that the excitement of him saying something he shouldn't was the only reason he wanted to say them. He knew maybe 3 bad words which he repeated several times just to fill up the 10 seconds. But it worked. They lost their appeal.

Okay, last story for this post.

Last month, we went through a McDonalds drive-thru to get the boys some food after their golf match. It is one of those face-to-face McDonalds where you don't order through a speaker but directly to an employee at a window. A sweet black lady leans her head through the window to take our order, and as she does, I notice that she is very eccentric looking. She has long braids (a head full of hair), and she has a bit of a long, rectangular face--a very chisseled looking face that is different. And, bless her heart, she does not have good teeth. She has buck teeth with wide gaps. But in spite of her odd appearance, she wears the most beautiful, friendly smile. Her name tag reads, "Ruth".

As soon as she leans through the window, she looks directly at Bennett who instinctively and quickly jumps back in his booster seat and makes a bit of a scared groan like this: Ooooh! (You would have thought he'd just seen Frankenstein, and I can assure you, she was no Frankenstein. She was, as I said, eccentric looking.) She must have sensed he was frightened because she began to speak to him in a very sweet voice. As soon as I heard his reaction, I turned around to shoot him the dirty look that instantly says, "You better not say another word" and shushed him. Anderson is in the passenger seat looking horrified, not by Ruth but by his brother's embarassing reaction. As Ruth speaks to Bennett, he smiles at her and then even waves. Meanwhile I am just praying that she didn't really notice his initial reaction. I feel terrible.

As we drive away, we wave goodbye and all three of us cordially, almost apologetically say, "Goodbye, Ruth. Have a nice day."

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and we go back through the same drive thru, only this time Paul is with us. I see Ruth poking her smiling face through the window up ahead just as we pull forward. There's no time to prep Bennett for his reaction. I hold my breath. Ruth says, "Hey!", and waves her hand at Bennett specifically. She must remember. I feel terrible. Bennett, the charmer that he is, smiles the biggest smile and says in his sweetest voice, "Hey!" I exhale a sigh of relief. And just as I do, Ruth withdraws her head from the window to grab our food when Bennett delivers this line:

"Daddy, that lady is losing her baby teeth."

Yeah, so much for holding our breaths to refrain from laughter. Paul and I instantly go into the body shakes with air blowing out rapidly between our pursed lips. What's the use? Bennett now knows he has said something funny, and I think he would consider selling a kidney for a laugh. I turn to shush him while Ruth returns to the window to deliver our food. We gather our composure and once again wave goodbye to sweet Ruth.

I said that was the last story, but I can't end this post without sharing a video from two nights ago. Bennett was wound up before bed as kids often are before bedtime. But this night he was fueled by the sweet tea I had allowed him to drink at dinner. (My mistake.)

Bennett LOVES Scotty McCreery (we all do), and one day I noticed that he could sing the chorus of the Montgomery Gentry song, "Gone", that Scotty sang on American Idol, and he did it with amazing precision. It was stunning to me because I knew that he had only heard the song performed on the show a few times, not on the radio, and he knew the lyrics so well. Anyway, I decided to record him singing for me. It'll make you grin. AND you'll see why I was so tired this particular night. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phiuRvSJD-M

cruisin'

2011-06-24T22:01:00.006-04:00

On June 3rd, the Brewers headed down to Charleston to spend a day and night and to board the Carnival Fantasy for a seven night cruise to the Bahamas and to Turks & Caicos.

Our first day down, we spent time walking around our beloved Charleston and eating at Hymans so the boys could get their bellies full of seafood. We stopped by a bookstore to purchase a few books for our trip and then headed down to Waterfront Park to hang out and watch the sunset. Bliss.

On Saturday, we boarded our cruise ship and headed for Nassau, the port we were scheduled to dock at in just two days. We were so excited because we had booked an excursion to Atlantis where Anderson and I were going to swim with the dolphins and where we were going to play in their huge waterpark all day. Sadly, our maitre d' had a heart attack before we made it to the Bahamas, and we had to divert to Port Canaveral. Losing time, we had to abort our plans to dock in Nassau. We were SO bummed.

From Canaveral we headed down to Half Moon Cay in the Bahamas. There we hung out on the beautiful white beaches and played in the clear blue (almost white!) water. Anderson especially loved snorkeling there. Bennett and I took a lagoon tour and saw all kinds of fish and sea stars on a glass bottom boat while Anderson and Paul went deep sea fishing.

From Half Moon we departed for Grand Turk of the Turks & Caicos Islands. It was overcast that day and we had a bit of rain, but we never got too hot nor did we have to apply tons of sunscreen, so we made the best of less-than-optimal weather conditions. We spent the day hanging out by the pool at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. Paul and Anderson spent an hour and a half on the flowrider, which is basically a simulated wave where you can surf and bodyboard. It can be quite challenging, but Anderson and Paul looked like pros compared to everyone else because they had surfed on one at the Great Wolf Lodge several years ago. Bennett and I watched from the pool and took lots of photos.

The following day we spent at sea in the middle of a tropical depression. This brought rain, dreary conditions, and rough seas. As a result, I woke up in the wee morning hours feeling sick. I took some Dramamine, but I spent the next 48 hours not feeling great. The upside? I got LOTS of sleep! In fact, I spent the first day of sickness sleeping in the room, and the next day, when the sun came out, I spent on the deck of the cruise ship looking at the ocean, reading, and napping on and off. Heavenly!

Bennett's favorite part of the cruise was going to Camp Carnival every day. He LOVED going to play games, sing songs, draw pictures, do art projects, building his very own bear, etc. He thought he was so grown up going off to Camp Carnival all by himself. It was wonderful to have this entertainment for him so that we could really relax.

Anderson loved the arcade. He spent many evenings there challenging anyone he could find to a game of air hockey. I believe he was the reigning air hockey champion the week we were on board. :)

There was also a putt putt golf course on board, so the boys' putting skills could stay sharp even while on vacation. :) It was the first place the boys wanted to go when we boarded the ship.

All in all, in spite of a few glitches along the way, we had a wonderful vacation. These pictures are proof. There are way too many photos here, but I am too tired to sort through them, so here they are...

https://picasaweb.google.com/hollytbrewer/Cruise2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCOGH5qWYqp_7Og#

a girl and her garden

2011-05-29T08:22:00.002-04:00

Paul asked me a week or two before Mother's Day what I really wanted for him and the boys to give me. I had to think a bit. But one day, while out running, it hit me that what I really wanted was a garden of flowers and herbs in my backyard. There's only one problem, though. I have a big ol' Golden Retriever that would trample, chew, and utterly destroy a garden. So, I asked Paul to fence in a section of our backyard for my garden. And he did! And I love it!

I've been working hard digging up all the grass, tilling and preparing the soil by hand, buying plants and herbs, planting them all, mulching, watering, etc. Gardening can be hard work. But I LOVE it! It has been therapeutic during a time when I haven't felt well (a post for another day, but God is faithfully healing, so that is all that matters).

Here are some photos that I took two days ago. I can't wait to see this garden next year when everything is even more full and lush.

school's out for summer

2011-05-29T07:45:00.003-04:00

Anderson had his last day of school on Thursday. Oddly enough, he only had to go to school on Thursday for 1 1/2 hours just to attend the end-of-year awards ceremony. I told him I wasn't enthusiastic about taking him to school for such a short amount of time so he could just miss that day, but he wanted to go.

At this ceremony, they give out awards like year-long all-A honor roll and A-B honor roll, which, contrary to what would be accurate where the student has all A's and B's on the report card, you can only have two B's on your report card and the rest A's in order to get this award. I think this is silly. Of course, Anderson usually has A's and 3 or 4 B's on his report card, so he always misses the cut-off, several times by just one point. They give out a Christ-like award to the child deemed most "Christ-like" for their class. It's a good idea in theory (Anderson won it in the 2nd grade, and I was so proud of him), but each teacher's definition of Christ-like seems to be different. Some teachers think it means the child who is the quietest and never says a word--you know, the meek and mild child who could be sitting there with all kinds of evil thoughts, but because they never verbalize them, it is assumed they are godly. Others have the more correct understanding, in my opinion, that it could be the loudest child in the class, but the child constantly shows a kind heart, compassion, love, integrity, and honesty. Anyway, the school also gives a perfect attendance award, something I have pretty much sworn my children will never receive if I have any say in the matter. And it is not because my children get sick a lot (they don't--very healthy kids, thank God). I just think every kid needs a spontaneous family fun day every once in awhile. Don't get me wrong--education is so important, and I do expect my children to take it very seriously. But come on. If you haven't woken your child up from school one morning and just said, "Today is our day. We're going to go do something fun, and you don't have to go to school!", you are missing out. Yes, it is best to pick a day where there are no tests or quizzes (which can be difficult) and where make up work will be minimal (there ARE those days, trust me). But I LOVE those days. Then again, I was the child who in high school would see how many more days I could miss before I was penalized, and if the end of the year was nearing and I still had some left, I would tell my mom I was staying home. And she didn't seem to mind. I was an A student, and she was a great mom. (And as an employee, I always showed up to work, so I didn't carry this habit over into the "real world".)

Yes, it is officially summer break for the Brewers, and we couldn't be happier about it. Sleeping in, hanging out at the pool, beach trips, picnics, lots of sunlight (which I, for one, love most about summer), watermelon, fresh veggies, grilling out, gardening, even a cruise to the Caribbean--I am looking forward to ALL of it!

The only continuing activities on the calendar for the next 2 1/2 months will be a cruise, a few more t-ball practices and games for Bennett, and the boys are starting a golf league this week. They will practice on Tuesdays and play on Thursdays, but none of this occurs until the evenings, so that is great. Oh, and Bennett will be taking swim lessons with Cole and Andrew at our pool in a few weeks. It is time he learned to swim, and I know I will rest a bit easier at the pool when I know he is swimming well.

So....maybe.......just maybe.......with a little more free time (who am I kidding, I seem to find a way to stay busy), maybe I will be able to keep up with my blog a lot better than I have been.

We'll see.

lasterday part 2

2011-03-25T20:22:00.002-04:00

Not long after I finished the previous post, I fed Bennett dinner while Anderson and Paul were still on the golf course. His hastily-made dinner consisted of grits and grapes because Bennett doesn't like the chicken wraps I made for Paul and Anderson (normally I do not make two dinners, but since he was eating alone, I figured I could swing it this time). During the course of explaining to him what he was going to eat for dinner and that he could not have fruit snacks until after he ate his meal, he actually asked me, "Are you trying to be a bad mom?" Honestly, there wasn't any disrespect in his tone or malice in his voice. Sometimes I think he talks just to hear the sound of his own voice.

As soon as he finished eating all of his grits and grapes (yuck, I know), I heard him go to the pantry to get his promised fruit snacks. Then, I heard him start singing a familiar tune with the following lyrics: "hong-a-sing-a-lay, hong-a-sing-a-lay". I thought to myself, "That sounds like Beyonce's Single Ladies, but those are definitely not the lyrics. So I went and stood by him at the pantry to see that he was staring at the fruit snack box that had a huge picture of Alvin and the Chipmunks on it. If you have seen this movie, you know that Single Ladies is the theme song to that movie. Bennett has seen it once, but I'm sure he saw lots of ads for it when it was in theaters and out on DVD, so he had not forgotten. Anyway, he translated, "All the single ladies, all the single ladies" as "hong-a-sing-a-lay, hong-a-sing-a-lay".

He is now sitting next to me playing on his "DS" which is actually a Leapster Explorer. He has a pet dog on it, and he was asking me what the name choices were for his names. One of them is Peaches. He just looked at me incredulously and said, "I don't want a dog named after a vegetable."

I wish I could just keep a video camera running. He'd get some You Tube hits, for sure.

lasterday

2011-03-25T10:29:00.006-04:00

Bennett never uses the term "yesterday". Instead, he says "lasterday", though sometimes "lasterday" refers to last week, last month, last year. I love this and refuse to correct him. It's just too cute.

Lasterday, I thought about the fact that it has been way too long since I have blogged. I decided then that I should take a moment to write down a few of the things my precocious four-year-old has been doing and saying lately before I forget. And let's face it, I generally have a five minute retention span, so I am recording these things for posterity as much as I am for my friend's and family's amusement.

I was telling Bennett on our way to Laura's house yesterday that I wanted him to do something (what it was I can no longer remember), and he said, "Of course I will, Mom. I would never let you down. Would I ever let my mom down?" I shall quote this back to him at some point in his life, I'm sure.
My niece, Cole, was at my house today, so we had some good girl time, just the two of us. I dressed her in a bright pink t-shirt of mine, a pair of Bennett's jeans that were too small, painted her toenails and fingernails, put on some blush, mascara and lipstick, and gave her some jewelry and purses. She was thrilled. She would have loved a pair of shoes, but I had none in her size. Bennett came into the bathroom as we were finishing up our "makeover" and says, "What have you done to Cole? She looks like the ladies in your Bible study." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "She looks like an old woman." (I am by far the youngest member of my Bible study group-, most of them being my mother's age. And no, that is NOT old to me.)
Bennett knows that I have a "no potty talk rule" in the house. That does not, however, deter him from trying to sneak opportunities to participate in this activity when he feels he can avoid consequences for doing so. For example, the other day we were riding bikes in the neighborhood, and after about a mile or so, Bennett exclaims in a voice loud enough for many neighbors to hear, "My butt is on FIRE!" ("Fire" was pronounced, "Fy-ah"!) Poor thing. His bike seat is rather hard, and he isn't used to riding that far but is generally restricted from adventuring beyond our street. Anyway, once he saw that his exclamation got a smirk out of me rather than admonishment, he persisited to say it four or five more times before I told him it was no longer necessary to announce this. That did not keep him from retelling this story several times the following day just so he could say the word "butt".
Last night, Bennett wanted us to play basketball in our playroom on our Fisher-Price Grow-to-Pro basketball goal. (Sidenote: This is a GREAT toy. We have had two of these, one when Anderson was a toddler, and the one that just replaced that last month when the other one's backboard no longer stayed on the post properly, probably due to lots of wear and tear over the last eleven years. We have not had a toy that has been played with more than this basketball goal.) Back to the story, Bennett assigned teams. First he said that he was on my team. Then, he said that married people were supposed to be on the same team, so Paul and I were then teammates. Then, about a minute later he decided that he would instead be my teammate. At that point, Bennett and his brother were roughhousing (this is all before the game even started), and Anderson fell down on a golfball that was left in his pocket. Needless to say, this didn't feel good at all. As Anderson lay on the ground feigning more pain than he actually felt, Bennett turned to me and said, "I guess Dad's gonna need a new teammate." This then led to a discussion about compassion and care for others. (I should add in fairness that he normally is compassionate and caring.)
This morning we were playing Snakes and Ladders. (It is similar to Chutes and Ladders, only you put the puzzle together first before you play. Very cute game with only 50+ spaces rather than 100, so it goes much more quickly.) Bennett would ask before he rolled the dice, "What do I need to roll?" He wanted to be able to take as many ladders up as possible. I would tell him how many spaces he needed to move (let's say 4 as an example), and then he would ask, "Mom, will you pray that I roll a four." The first time I said, "Sure", so we prayed. Of course, he rolled a four. He asked again, to which I said, "You can pray and ask God, buddy." So, he did pray that he would roll a four. But before he rolled he said, "I think I'm gonna roll a 2." What a perfect moment to explain faith!!! I said, "Bennett, you don't want to think like that. If you ask God to roll a four, then you need to believe you will roll a 4. Just picture in your mind what it looks like to roll a four, then thank God for helping you roll a four." He did, and yes, he rolled a 4. In fact, he prayed a lot during our game today, and I think there was only two or three instances (out of many!) where he didn't roll what he prayed for. I know God was teaching me something during our game as much as he was teaching Bennett something. I've been pondering and praying a lot lately about the way we think and believe and how it affects what happens, and I know this was a moment God was seizing to show me faith in action in a very practical, visible way. What was particularly sweet is when Bennett beat me and said, in his most enthusiastic and consolatory voice, "You got second place!!! That's great, Mom!" (Note: When he got second place in the next game, he wasn't initially quite as enthusiastic about that. But after a good talk about being gracious with wins and losses, his tone instantly changed and he said, "I like second place, Mom!")
This afternoon he was playing Star Wars with his brother and cousin, Andrew. He was swinging at them with a light saber saying, "I am using the forest, I'm using the forest!" Yes, he meant "force".

Being a mother can be a difficult job. But the rewards of being home with my boys, watching them grow, mature, develop into young men who love God and love other people by far outnumbers the challenges of this journey. I am so glad God gave me boys who keep me entertained along the way.

ta ta...looks like rain

2011-01-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

I love this photo of Bennett. I took it a few weeks ago on the golf course. Paul and Anderson were finishing up their hole when it started to rain. Bennett was holding the umbrella and keeping himself entertained while he waited for his dad and brother.

my anderson

2011-01-20T14:28:00.005-05:00

I know I post a lot about Bennett. Having a four-year-old in the family means that there are a thousand laughs a week which translates into a thousand quotes a week which I could post on our blog. Four year olds are just cute, funny, inquisitive, simple yet profound. Easy material for a blog, for sure. I only wish I had a blog when Anderson was four. I regret not writing down more of what he said and did then. Everyone told me to. I didn't listen.

But I wanted to dedicate a post to Anderson today. Anderson is twelve and in the sixth grade. Yes, that means he is a middle schooler. Most people have a knee-jerk reaction to the term "middle schooler" that is generally some form of a wince, but I have to say that we are truly enjoying parenting during this phase of development. Then again, I think Anderson may very well break the pre-teen mold.

Anderson is still very open to Paul and me. He hasn't pulled down the pre-teen partition between us that reads, "Parents just don't understand." Yes, he thinks he knows more than he used to, and he does. With years lived comes the opportunity to gain wisdom from your experiences. I told him recently that I do know that he is getting to the age where he thinks Paul and I may not know as much as he once thought we did, but the truth is we still have more wisdom than he does overall. I did tell him that sometimes he might be right and we might be wrong, and that Paul and I would always try to be open to hearing him out and would always be willing to concede when he was right. That being said, he needed to understand that we are more than likely right because we've "been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt". The thing is, Anderson really is a wise little (well, not-s0-little) boy, and he agreed with what I was telling him.

Anderson goes to sleep most nights listening to the Bible being read on CD. No, we don't make him do this. This is something he does on his own intiative. My mother-in-law gave us these CDs years ago, and whenever Paul and I were sick in the bed or had bad dreams, we would listen to the Bible being read aloud. Anderson took up the practice and has stuck with it. It is pretty amazing how much Scripture he can quote (with the dramatic emphasis and everything since he's heard it quite a bit!). I started reading a chapter of the Bible to Anderson every day when he was a newborn. It is really a blessing to see those seeds that were sown into his spirit bearing fruit in his life. (He LOVES to read, has a way with words, and has great reading retention....maybe that was from all the Bible reading as a baby? :) )

Anderson loves sports and grows more and more competitive with age! And bless his heart, he comes by that honestly. Tonight he was a little irritated that his dad beat him twice in air hockey, but most of the time he handles loss with grace and a determination to get back in the game and win. He loves football and has played quarterback for the last two seasons with the Copperheads (a local football league). This fall, he will likely play for his JV team at school, but we aren't exactly sure about this yet. He may opt to spend one more year in his rec league before playing with and against 9th graders!

In a few weeks, Anderson will begin playing on his middle school golf team. His dad will be his coach, which will be a really sweet experience for them to share. I know I am his mom but I know that Anderson has a God-given talent to play golf just like his daddy. We have played a couple of a times as a family this month, and he astounded me with how far and accurately he can hit a golf ball. He was hitting balls consistently over 200 yards on the fly (in other words, this doesn't include how far they roll after they land). I know he has "the goods" to be a great golfer one day, but football remains his true love at this point, so we'll see what the future holds. Of course, as his mom, I would LOVE for him to love golf--a far safer sport than football--but I trust God has a plan for Anderson, and who am I to interfere with whatever that may be? I am only here to help him discover that plan and follow it.

Every day that Anderson comes home from school, he says he's had a great day. He is happy! I know he'd rather be at home playing and hanging out with his family, but it is a blessing to parent a kid who is always pretty happy, joyful, at peace. He has mentioned to me a few times this year that he was stressed out by school work, taking on new projects and papers that he's never had to be as responsible for. The teachers are taking their hands off of them more and more (and ask us as parents to do nothing for these projects they assign, which I LOVE!), so Anderson was a bit intimidated, I could tell. But he came home today so proud of himself for finishing his paper, outlines, and visual aids at school ON HIS OWN! I'm proud of him, too.

Andersons excels at History and Reading (as I mentioned before). He watches The History Channel for fun. He teaches Paul and me American history all the time (I'm not exaggerating). He just has a knack for it and soaks it in like a sponge. He is so much like his granddaddy. He and Granddaddy are planning another trip this summer to visit more Civil War battlegrounds, and Anderson can't wait! We've told Anderson that we think he would make a good attorney because of his knowledge of history and his ability to soak up information that he reads. Of course, he'd make an honorable attorney, full of integrity, because that is the kind of person Anderson is.

Anderson did make his first (and hopefully only!) trip to the superintendent's office at school a few months ago. It's actually a great story that is too long for me to write tonight, but basically what happened is some eighth grade boys had been bullying the sixth grade boys in PE class. Anderson had told us this was going on, and we told him that he could do whatever was needed to defend himself. So, he did. :) I was proud of him, honestly. Anyway, I believe the kid who was bullying him ended up getting suspended from school. Anderson got off with a little "talking to". And that put an end to the bullying. So...mission accomplished.

Anderson is also keenly aware of feminine beauty now. He is well aware of the fact that God created him to be attracted to girls, but thankfully he doesn't find any girls at his school particularly appealing, so I'm hoping he remains that way for quite awhile.

I've heard for years that parents aren't supposed to be their child's friends but their parents. I understand and agree with what is intimated by this statement which is that you can't put a desire for your kids to like you above doing what is right for them. But the truth is, I am so glad that I am able to be Anderson's friend--that we can talk about ANYTHING (I blush regularly these days), that he chooses to spend time with us and gets excited about family outings, that we can play games against each other and compete and it's a fair competition (I can still beat him wrestling, but he's getting stronger every day). But Anderson entirely understands that I am first and foremost his mother, and I have no qualms about making decisions that he isn't happy with if I believe it is what is best. And he really does trust me when I do make those decisions. He knows I am always looking out for my baby boy. And no matter how old he is, that is what he is--my baby.

As I said before, I know that Anderson is my child, and I am biased. But the truth is, he is an exceptional human being. He came into this world with a peace and joy, and he hasn't let the world steal it from him. He is amazingly self-assured for an adolescent, and He very much loves the God we introduced him to and He is getting to know more and more all the time. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, amazing integrity, and I have called him a compulsive truth-teller for years. (When I picked him up from school the other day, I could tell that he was feeling guilty about something. I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "Mrs. Hamo asked us who finished our reading assignment last night, so I stood up to indicate that I did, and then I realized I hadn't read the last half-page, but I was afraid to sit down because then I thought she might think I lied on purpose." He was really bothered by his mistake, and I told him it wasn't intentional, so he didn't need to worry about it since he was reading that half of a page that evening.) I don't know how many adults say their admire their children, but I sure admire mine.

Okay, so I have bragged long enough. That wasn't my intention, honestly, when I sat down to write about Anderson. But of course, I can't help myself. I love that kid. I think he's mighty fine, and I am more than proud to be his mama.

And since I know that mostly family (and friends who are like family) reads this blog, I am grateful that they won't be offended by my going on and on about my kid.

more random bennett quotes

2011-01-07T21:17:00.002-05:00

I wish I had a tape recorder that I could carry around with me so that I could record conversations with Bennett. Here are a few from the last few days...

Anderson was going to spend the night with his grandparents, so I asked Bennett if he wanted to go also. He typically prefers to be at home with Paul and me, but this time he responds, "Are you and Dad going to go on a date?"

"No, we're not. Anderson just wants to spend the night," I informed him.

"Why don't you and Dad go on a date?" he asks.

"Awwww, that is sweet, Bennett." He wants us to go on a date because sometimes my parents babysit the boys when we are out late.

"Yeah, I want you to leave and go out on a date. Okay? Now tell me to be a nice boy. And if any of my cousins does anything mean to me I will tell the boss, okay? But, who is the boss?"

"Granny and Granddaddy are the boss."

"Okay. Mom, are you going to kiss on your date?"

I smiled and said, "Yes."

He said, "Okay, but Mom, don't wear that lipstick because that is going to get on Dad. Just wipe it off and I will say to you, 'That looks perfect.'"

"Okay, Bennett, I'll keep that in mind. Do you need me to get your pajamas for you?"

"No, I can get my pajamas, 'cause I'm the greatest guy." He says this with a wink and a finger point. I kid you not.

__________________________________________________________________

"Mom, you are twenty-twelve pounds." (I know I gained a few pounds over Christmas, but 2012?)
___________________________________________________________________
Bennett went to school with me on Friday while I coached the cheerleaders. He always takes a bookbag with him filled with toys and games to keep him entertained. Almost every time we leave practice, he is in his imaginary world where he is an actual student at CCS and not a visitor. Our conversation as we drove home went like this:

"Thanks for driving me home from school, Mom."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Did you have a good day?"

"No, a bully got me."

"A bully got you? What did he do?"

"His name was Jack, I think. He was mean to me, but Andrew, my cousin, saved me. I yelled, "A bully is after me", and Andrew came and saved me. And so did Anderson. They got the bully away from me."

"Well, I am glad that they saved you."

"I have homework."

"You do?"

"Yes, just grammar and Bible, but it is really, really hard."

"Well I'm sure you'll do great at it."

"Yeah, but I failed the test."

"Well, I'm sure you'll do great on the next one."

"Yeah, are you going to take me to football practice?"
___________________________________________________________________
Can you tell the kid has an older brother? He is four going on thirteen.

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

2010-12-30T10:54:00.002-05:00

Charles Dickens. I love his writings, A Christmas Carol being my favorite book that he penned. (Shocker, right?) He wrote, "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." I was thinking of this statement this morning and I began to mourn the end of the Christmas season. I know that I should take advantage of the down time and rid my house of all of my beautiful Christmas decorations, but I just can't. I want to hold onto it for a little while longer.

As much as I would like to have frozen time on December 25th to savour every moment of that day, the reality is that Christmas has come and gone, and there will be 360 more days until it reappears. There is no stopping time. And as a mother who is now 36, I can tell you that I long to stop it on a regular basis--to pause on a special moment, to marvel at my kids at a certain stage just a moment longer, to hold their hands tightly while they let me, to snuggle them in bed while they will still visit me there, and to keep the wrinkles from multiplying and body parts from sagging. Sometimes I think time is an enemy, a thief.

I am powerless to stop time, of that I am certain. None of us can. Only God has that power, and He chooses to allow it to move on in this realm, though I believe there is no concept of time in Heaven. There is one passage in the Bible where He did stop the sun for almost an entire day for a battle because Joshua had prayed for him to do so. So, I guess there has been a moment in our history where time did stop. Hmmm.....that has me thinking.....maybe I should pray about this. :)

Anyway, on to the point of this blog. We had a wonderful Christmas. As is our tradition, we spent Christmas Eve at Aunt Bonnie's with the Bailey clan, and though the absence of Granny and Granddaddy always brings a tinge of sadness, we are always happy to be together. Christmas Eve, my family came over to open gifts and eat together. Christmas morning, the boys opened their gifts from Santa and since Anderson got a new airplane, we went over to my parents' house Christmas morning to fly it and eat breakfast with everyone there. That afternoon, we left for Greensboro and spent the evening with the Brewers. And today, five days later, I thought about this: the constant staples of these gatherings is always three things-- the presence of our God, the love of our families, the joy of the season.

And I guess really what I miss most about Christmas is just that: the presence (not the presents, though they are FUN), the love, and the joy. And what I thought about today when I remembered the Dickens quote was this: That presence, that love, and that joy are constant in my life. Sure, there is something magical about December for me. It always has been and always will be. But the things I love most about Christmas I carry throughout the whole year.

So, I DO honor Christmas in my heart, and I DO keep it all the year. And since time never stops, I will look forward to the time when the season arrives once again.

i was dreaming of a white christmas...

2010-12-28T14:17:00.003-05:00

...and I got one! Raleigh has not had an accumulation of snow on Christmas day since 1946, two years before my dad was even born. I'm not sure that we technically broke that record this year because it didn't start snowing in Raleigh until around 11 pm on Christmas night, but we were in Greensboro where it had been snowing since 1 pm, so we had our very first white Christmas!

The morning of the 26th, Paul, Bennett and I loaded up the van with five sleds and Jordan, Candice, Ava Michelle, and her friend, Abe, and headed over to the golf course at Starmount. We met Elisabeth, Ryan, Molly and Myles on #4 for some sledding. (Anderson was sledding with his older cousins over in their neighborhood, and Miller, Elisabeth's baby, was with his grandparents.)

The snow was perfect. About 4-6 inches of thick powder, perfect for snowball and snowman making and for plastic sleds on grassy slopes. We had so much fun! And I had fun taking lots of photographs with my new camera. Here are a few...

Elisabeth launching at the top of the hill.

Myles and Bennett--best cousins and friends--near the end of their ride.

Paul and Bennett having fun.

Best buddies.

Bennett LOVES the snow!

monday's funnies

2010-12-13T20:25:00.003-05:00

Bennett has said two things in the last ten minutes to his brother that I just had to write down so I wouldn't forget.

1. He and his brother were teasing each other about girls. Anderson says to Bennett, "You have a singing girlfriend." (He was talking about Selena Gomez.) Bennett gets very upset and says, "No my don't!" I overhear the argument, so I tell Bennett to go to his room and get his pajamas on to separate them since Anderson was headed to his room to do the same. On the way to his room, Bennett stops by the playroom where I was sitting and says, "Mom, my have to tell you something." He continues in an angry, frustrated voice. "Bubba says my have a singing girlfriend and my don't! My dating Cole!"

Okay, how in the world he knows about "dating" is still a mystery. He may be four but he can talk like he's a twelve. I'm sure that has a lot to do with having a twelve-year-old brother.

Oh, and for the record, Cole is a girl (Rachel "Cole"), and she is my niece. That makes her his cousin. First cousin. Yep, but it's okay. We live in the South. :)

2. Anderson and Bennett, clearly chockful of testosterone tonight, were just wrestling in the playroom. What Bennett lacks in size and strength he makes up for in tenacity and determination and fiestiness. All of a sudden, he is hanging onto his brother's neck and back for dear life and saying in the loudest, meanest, most intimidating voice he can muster, "Who's the strongest? Who's the strongest?" He honestly thought he was stronger. In fact, he keeps asking me tonight, "Mom, who's the strongest: Me or Bubba?" He doesn't like the answer, so he then responds, "Nope. Nobody's strong. Only me." Delusion is a powerful thing.

God's goodness & golf

2010-12-12T18:45:00.002-05:00

God's goodness and golf--such a strange blog post title, I know. How in the world will I connect the goodness of God with the game of golf? Well, here you go...

Last night, Paul and I went to his end-of-the-year party for his golf course and its sister courses. I have to admit that I wasn't terribly excited about a golf Christmas party that was comprised primarily of golfers that I do not know. But as it turns out, my second cousin and his wife were there because--unbeknownst to me--they are members at a sister course, so I ended up knowing two more people than I expected to at the party. But I'll get to that part of the story momentarily.

One of the reasons we wanted to go to this party was because they were having a reverse raffle (still not sure exactly what that is?), and the grand prize was $3000 that could be used toward anything at the golf club--including monthly fees, golf clubs, etc. The winner would have more than a year of golf paid in full for his or her entire family. It was a prize that I admit I had prayed for from time to time whenever Paul mentioned it. You see, only people who had won tournaments during the year would be qualified to participate in the raffle. Paul had only played in three tournaments this year (probably because I requested that he not play as much golf this year, so he honored me in that). But of the three tournaments, I think he placed first or second in all of them, so his name was put into the drawing six times. There were 135 drawings, so his chances were probably better than anyone's that he would win some kind of a prize, though of the 135 drawings, there were only 36 prizes, so four of the times that Paul's name was drawn, there was no prize. But by the twentieth drawing, every person whose name was drawn received a prize. And at this point, Paul's name was in there not once but twice.

Paul looks at me when drawing #20 was up and said, "How cool would it be if I won the grand prize and the second prize?" We both laughed, and I agreed that such an event--though highly unlikely--would be such a blessing. Because of the economy, we had discussed downgrading our membership next year which would restrict when we could play but would allow us to pay a lower fee each month.

The drawings continued until the 10th prize drawing, at which point we paused and moved into the auditorium to have a business-type meeting and would then close the night with the final drawings. As we began our exit from the banquet room, my cousin says, "My name is still in the drawing."

"Yeah, I saw that, and so is Paul's name. His is in there twice. I think you two should take the top three prizes."

We both laughed and he agreed that this would be ideal. Of course, I'm sure he had his eye on the grand prize, too!

After a very long business meeting (where I passed the time trying to figure out how to use Paul's cell phone and accidentally called a few folks), the drawings commenced.

They called name #10--not Paul's. Every time they drew a name, I prayed, "Not Paul's name. Not Paul's name." They called #9, #8, #7.....all the way to #5, and still--Paul's name had not been called. Things were looking really good for him and for my cousin, whose name had not been called either. But Paul's chances were twice as good as my cousin's for winning the grand prize.

They called #4, and neither Paul nor my cousin's name was called. That meant that the top three prizes were going to my cousin and to Paul. I was elated.

And then they said it--#3, "Gary Norris". Paul looked stunned. Then slowly, his hands went up in the air in sheer astonishment. He had won both the first and second place prizes. He had won $3,000 to use at the golf course and unlimited tournament entry fees (a prize probably valued at well over $1000). This astonishing win means two things: Paul will not be paying the golf course a dime for anthing for at least a year. And it means that if I want to see my husband in 2011, I better take up golf.

I can't tell you how grateful we felt when we realized what Paul had won. It was amazing. The odds of this happening were well under 1% from a statistical point of view. But with God, statistics mean nothing. He can do anything. And he did. He just gave my husband a desire of his heart--more golf FOR FREE. Paul said to me on the drive home that I could use some of the money we will save to go shopping. Of course, that made me so happy, but truthfully--just seeing the joy on my husband's face was enough. At least for now it is. :)

I stand amazed at God's goodness to us, in every area of our lives. If it all went south tomorrow, God would still be good. That will never change.

But I have to share this--just a few months ago, a local municipality tried to charge us an ungodly amount of money to do some road improvements where we own a business. It wasn't right nor was it fair. Needless to say, we did a lot of praying and asking God to intervene. And he did. We still have to pay more than we should, but they reduced the original charge 75%. But ever since that ordeal, we have seen the hand of God reach down to bless us financially time and time again, providing ways for us to earn more. It was as if He was saying to us, "Don't worry. I've got you. I will take care of you." And Paul's winning those raffles last night was just another reminder that He holds us, He cares for us, and He will not only take care of us but will bless us with heart's desires. What a good God He is.

So if you don't see me much in 2011, you can probably find me on the golf course with my husband and sons. And it won't be costing us a dime. Thank you, Jesus.

can't find the right word exactly

2010-12-09T07:44:00.003-05:00

My boys and their words.....they can be so funny. Or not.

This week, out of the blue, I am working on Christmas cards when Bennett enters the room and says, "You're sexy", followed by a slew of giggles.

My first reaction--shock. My second--I want to laugh. Third--I try to get it together so I can address the fact that sexy is a word no four-year old should use, or even know for that matter.

"Excuse me, son? You don't use that word. That is a grown-up word, and you do not even know what that means."

"My gonna be a woman and be sexy." The laughing is now uncontrollable.

My voice gets louder, "Bennett, you are NOT to use a word that you do not understand what it means. That is a grown up word. Don't say that again."

Well, if you know Bennett, you know that he did say it again. If you know me, you know he was disciplined for it.

I know the moment something becomes forbidden, its appeal skyrockets. I kept thinking about this as I gave Bennett strict instructions not to use it. I wondered, "What can I get him to say instead?" I couldn't think of a word then, and I still can't. It seems the ONLY words that make him giggle are potty words.

Like the other day, for example. He was watching the San Diego Chargers game, and they were blowing the game. All of a sudden, out of the blue, Bennett says, "They suck!"

"Excuse me? No sir, we do not use that word. You can say, 'They stink'."

Bennett begins to laugh heartily. "They suck."

"Okay, I am going to have to discipline you," I assure him.

"No, no, no, Mom.....NO!!!!!" And the protesting begins.

To be honest, the hardest part about disciplining Bennett is that I am trying so hard not to laugh (as is Paul, who is worse than I am in trying to hold it together when the boys say something inappropriate). I think this week alone Paul and I have held our breaths on three different occasions to keep from laughing. And Bennett is so onto us. He can just feel when we want to laugh, which only encourages him to keep at it to see how long it takes either of us to lose our composure.

I don't remember Anderson having a so-called potty mouth, which makes sense because Anderson is so much like his dad (who also doesn't have a potty mouth). And Bennett is so much like.......me. Yep, makes perfect sense.

But I did ask Anderson, after the "sexy" incident, where Bennett learned that word. After all, one of the few challenges I have found from having children almost 8 years apart is that the younger one always learns things before the first child did, and often they are things they are not ready to learn just yet. Anyway, Anderson said, "He learned it from Shrek, Mom. You know, at the end of the movie where they have 'Far, Far Away Idol'? They sing that song (he starts singing), "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts. I'm immortal, you know what I mean."

"Wait, Anderson. What did you just sing? I'm immortal?"

He smiles, "That's not the right word, is it?"

"No, honey. It's 'I'm a model.'"

We both laughed hysterically. And this time, I didn't have to try to hold my breath.

snow and a family reunion, in no particular order

2010-12-04T19:20:00.011-05:00

It snowed today in Raleigh! It started while we were at Aversboro Baptist Church in Garner at the semi-annual Hicks Family Reunion. Both events brought sweet joy to my heart--the snow because it was beautiful and caused my boys to squeal in delight, and the reunion because this tradition of being able to visit with my great aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. and eat oh-so-delicious-southern food takes me back to my childhood in a way that only Christmastime can.

I took my early Christmas-and-birthday present (a method of gift-giving we December babies are very familiar with) to the reunion and took some photos to commemorate the events of today. I am LOVING my camera. I am still learning how to use it along with the lenses, but I am having a great time learning. It never hurts to have such wonderful subjects to photograph.

This is my beautiful mother with her newest grandson, Sawyer--another miracle baby.
This is a photo of Anderson and Hampton playing in the falling snow. I wish I had not blurred Anderson's face here, but I still love this photo.

Another photo of sweet Hampton.

Bennett was having fun running around in the driveway as it snowed.

Eating snowflakes.

A photo of my handsome Anderson.

More snow eatin'.

Aunt Bonnie holding Sawyer, Mom, and Uncle Charles holding my newest cousin, Davis.

My daddy and Sawyer.

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2010-11-30T22:40:00.009-05:00

My Christmas and birthday gifts arrived on Anderson's birthday this year--a new camera with new lenses. I am SO excited. I decided to test the camera out (ie--start learning how to use the thing) one night this week, so I took photos of some of our Christmas decorations. I have had some requests that I take photos of all of the decorations and explain how I did various things, and maybe, just maybe, I will do that in the next few days. For now, this is all I can manage to do.

twelve years and counting

2010-11-30T20:18:00.005-05:00

Happy birthday to my precious Anderson. I would say it just seems like yesterday that he was born, but honestly, it doesn't. It may not seem like yesterday that he was born, but I remember that day as if it were.

I had been in the hospital for exactly one week by the time I was induced on Monday morning at 9 am on November 30th. I had been taken to Cary Wake Hospital (known as Western Wake at the time) in the wee morning hours on November 23rd after days of being in tremendous pain, with irregular contractions and a leg, groin and back that hurt so bad I thought I may not survive the pain. My left leg was swelling (eventually, it was twice the size of my other leg, at least) and was discolored. I went to the doctor's office on Friday where I even asked them if I might have a blood clot because I had read in What To Expect When You Are Expecting that my symptoms may be symptoms of a blood clot. Dr. Vulgaropolis, one of my ob's, asked me to flex my left foot, and since that exercise caused no pain, they said the swelling must be typical pregnancy edema. They thought I was in early labor and would be in that weekend to deliver.

So, on Saturday morning, with the pain as intense as ever and contractions becoming more regular, I went to Rex Hospital to be evaluated. At the time, Western Wake Hospital could not care for pre-term babies, and since I was 36 weeks gestation, they referred me to Rex. Rex kept me for observation, determined that I was not dilating enough to admit, and sent me home.

Finally, on Monday morning around 3 or 4 am, Paul and my mother literally carried me into the closest hospital, Western Wake, because I could no longer walk. I could not even stand up straight. I was shaking uncontrollably because of the pain. All of this prompted Paul to take my father's advice as we entered the hospital which was to tell the staff that Paul had a gun and that I wasn't going home again unless a medical professional went with me. We were done with the run around with doctors and nurses who continually missed the signs of what was really going on with me. (Yes, Paul actually told them that. No, he wasn't sent to jail.)

On Monday the 23rd at 6 am an ultasound technician diagnosed me with deep vein thrombosis, also known as DVT. My iliac vein was being pressed by my uterus and a low-positioned baby causing a massive blood clot to form in my deep vein from my abdomen down to the back of my left knee. I was immediately put on bed rest (I was not even allowed to go to the restroom in anything other than a bedpan) and transferred to Rex Hospital where Anderson could receive the care he needed should my contractions not cease. I was given an IV of heparin to combat the clot, pain medication (I think it was morphine), and a medication to stop my contractions which caused a rapid heart rate (which made no sense to me...did they really want my heart to pump blood through my body at a faster rate?). And I was given a lot of grave looks by those who knew better than I did what was going on inside my body.

That is until Dr. Lemuel Yerby walked into my room that afternoon at Rex. He was a vein specialist with a reassuringly calm and warm spirit that was referred to me by my obstetricians. He carefully explained what was wrong with me and how they would treat me. He asked if I had questions, and he answered them thoroughly and honestly. I remember asking him what would happen if the clot broke off and entered my lungs or heart (the iliac vein leads directly there). He said, "You can get very sick, and you can die." But here's what he did that took all of that growing fear and began to dispel it. He looked me straight in my eyes, he patted my leg gently, and he said this: But YOU are going to be just fine." It wasn't just hope that I felt he was giving me. He was making a declaration. A war had ensued against me, against Anderson, and we would have to fight. As for Dr. Yerby, whether he was aware of it or not, he was verbalizing a declaration of faith--of eventual victory--on our behalf.

For one week I endured total bedrest, for the most part. Let's face it, I'm not the greatest rule follower in the world, and one can only poop in a bedpan once without deciding they will never do it again. Once I discovered that I could temporarily unplug my IV, I started making bathroom trips when no staff was watching.

My obstetricians decided on the 28th that I should be induced after seven days of treatment were complete. At the time, it was believed that after seven days of heparin therapy, a patient with a blood clot was considered to be highly unlikely of suffering a deadly clot breakage. So, around 11 pm on Sunday night, the 29th, a cervical balloon was inserted to start the dilation process. I cramped and ached and wondered again how I would survive an entire night of intense pain. I finally took a sleeping pill and had my family pray for me and found sweet relief in a deep sleep.

The next morning, an IV of pitocin was administered around 9 am. I now refer to pitocin as "hell in an IV" because, frankly, I could not imagine that anything could actually be worse. Pitocin made me feel like my uterus cramped up for a long eight hours without relenting. And that pain triggered all the pain in my leg and groin. I remember grabbing the bed mattress as hard as I could and asking how long it would be until I could get an epidural. The nurse's response? You have to have the blood thinner out of your system for six hours before your blood clotting time can even be tested to see if an epidural is even possible. If your blood isn't clotting normally at that point, an epidural cannot be administered due to bleeding risks in the spine which can cause paralysis or death.

I lay in the bed and insisted that Paul and my mother, the two family members I invited into the birthing room, be completely silent. All I could do was pray. And moan. And cry.

Around 3:30 pm, I found the sweetest relief in the form of an epidural--God's gift to women to give us some form of escape from the "curse". To say I was relieved is a tremendous understatement. I felt rejuvenated, even excited.

Just before 4 pm, Anderson became distressed. His heart rate was slowing to dangerous rates. Dr. Mulvaney, the doctor on call, came into the room to evaluate. I was only dilated to 8 cm, but I felt the need to push, and Anderson was now in serious trouble. An emergency c-section was not a good option for me because of the blood clots, needing to be on blood thinner, etc. It was a precarious situation to say the least. People don't believe me when I say that Dr. Mulvaney said this, but he did. He shook his head and said, "I am too old for this."

What happened next can only be attributed to the grace and strength of God that was manifesting in me as a waiting room full of friends and family--prayer warriors--prayed for Anderson and me. I looked at the doctor and said, "I can push him out. If you help me, I can push him out." He must have checked my cervix again, thought I don't remember that, but without hesitation, he said, "Okay."

Just three pushes later, at 4:11 pm, along with some help from a suction machine and a big, strong Jamaican doctor, the most handsome cone-shaped-headed boy was born. He was laid on my chest for a moment, the color blue instead of pink. But he was breathing, and barely crying. I shook him gently and said, "Cry, baby, cry." The nurses took him and began thumping his foot, and within a few minutes I heard the most beautiful sound I had ever heard--a screaming baby.

We did not know what gender Anderson was until the nurse announced, in the midst of the chaos of his birth, "Aww....I think I see something." She did! It was--for sure--a BOY.

I wish I could describe the joy I felt when I first touched Anderson. I can still feel what he felt like--so warm and tiny and delicate and beautiful. I mean, this kid had the longest head you have ever seen thanks to his positioning in my womb and a traumatic delivery. But he was absolutely GORGEOUS. Needless to say, he wore a hat continuously that first week of his life.

Looking back, I marvel at God's goodness and protection over us. I know the enemy had come to "steal, kill and destroy". Maybe another day I will blog about the countless friends and strangers who came to our side to join us in prayer during this time of great fear and uncertainty, or about how God healed me. God was and is so faithful.

So today marks the anniversary of the day that Anderson Logan Brewer entered the world and the day that God brought great victory to the Brewers. Truly, we have a lot to celebrate.

Happy birthday, dearest Anderson. You are a joy, a treasure, an answered prayer, a hope fulfilled, a miracle. For twelve years, you have graced our lives with such love and joy that I cannot even adequately describe it in words. Thank you for being the human being that you are and for making our job about as easy as it can be. We love you, son.

Mom

conception from a four-year-old's perspective

2010-11-29T19:41:00.002-05:00

Well, hell has not frozen over, but I have indeed blogged three times in the last 48 hours. Wonders never cease.

I wanted to record the conversation we just had with Bennett so that I wouldn't forget it. There are some things your children ask and say that you just never want to forget. The following is Bennett's inquisition on how he was conceived. Don't worry. It is a G-rated conversation, entirely appropriate for a four-year old.

Bennett: How did my get into your tummy? (By the way--Bennett still uses the word "my" for "I" in most cases, in spite of Paul's efforts to change this.)

Anderson: (giggling)

Me: God put you there.

Bennett: But how did God put me there.

Paul: He plants a seed.

Anderson: (giggling louder)

Me: Anderson--shhh. We prayed and asked for a baby, and God gave you to us. He created you in my tummy.

Bennett: Was my invisible?

Me: Yes, your spirit was invisible when you entered my tummy.

Bennett: AGH!!!!! Then my am a witch!?!?!?!?

Paul: What? Why would you think you were a witch?

Bennett: Because my can disappear. Like the witch on The Wizard of Oz.

my body needs a cookie

2010-11-29T08:38:00.002-05:00

I neglected to mention in my previous post that I am thankful that we actually had THREE Thanksgiving meals this holiday season.

Ava Michelle was traveling to Ecuador for her school break, so Candice and Jordan hosted a Thanksgiving meal at their house on Wednesday, the week before Thanksgiving, so that AM could have a proper Thanksgiving feast before she left. They graciously invited Paul's parents, Paul, the boys, and me over to celebrate. It was a delicious meal in a warm, inviting home. (Sidenote--thank God Jordan married Candice. His bachelor pad has been beautifully transformed into an actual home.)

On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, my sisters and I and our families gathered at Mom and Dad's for another delicious meal. Mom prepared the turkey, dressing and ham, and we girls brought the sides. Another thing I am thankful for? That my family can COOK. :) Good food!

Then on Thanksgiving day, we traveled to Greensboro to eat more turkey, a Honey Baked ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, broccoli casserole, string bean casserole, corn casserole (yes, there is a casserole theme here), cranberry salad, yeast rolls, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, cheese cake, and chocolate chip peanut butter cookies.

Although I consider myself a fairly health-conscious eater, I throw every consideration of fat, calories, sugar, cholesterol, etc. out the window for holidays. So suffice it to say that I, along with all of my boys, ate all we wanted at each of these meals. And then some.

And then Anderson's birthday party was Friday (a good time worthy of another post), so we ate pizza and chocolate-chocolate cake a la "Aunt Stacy". And who could say no to THAT? Not me.

So, I am now in a self-imposed sugar, fat, and salt detox. No, I guess it is more accurate to say that I am just backing off over-indulgence this week, giving my body a break. But I may be the only one. Bennett, for example, is still on a sugar kick. Last night I made a lasagna, salad, and cookies to take to our neighbors (her father just passed away from cancer), and Bennett smelled the cookies. He came down and licked the mixing spoons, but that is all I would allow. He returned upstairs while they were baking, snuggled up to his daddy (knowing I had already said "no cookies"), and this is what he said:

"I want a cookie."

Paul's response, "It is too late for a cookie, buddy."

Bennett's voice transforms into a higher pitched whine, he stretches his body out, writhing a bit as if in pain, and pitifully says, "But my body needs a cookie. Really bad. It does. My body needs a cookie."

Paul wasn't convinced.

So Bennett is now on a mom-imposed sugar detox for today. Well, for at least this morning anyway. :)

As for me, I guess I will be off the sugar for a few more days. I drove carpool this morning, so I did have a non-fat latte with aritificial sweetener, but my tummy is still rumbling a bit. I think my body needs a cookie.

a bad but grateful blogger

2010-11-27T19:33:00.004-05:00

So, I have not done a great job staying on top of this blog. It isn't at all surprising to me considering I often feel I hardly have time to live my life, much less write about it. I feel I have a lot more perseverance than inspiration when life is moving at such a fast pace. But thankfully, Thanksgiving break has arrived, and I have had time to pause and think and reflect and...well, being that it is THANKSgiving...be thankful.

Today, NC State had a chance to play for the ACC Championship next weekend in Charlotte. All we had to do was beat Maryland. We came out of the gates ready to play, scoring in our first two possessions with the score 14-0 in the first quarter. I'll spare you the details (and my mind from remembering them), but we lost. And so, NC State's season ends at 8-4. Sure, we'll get a bowl game, but we hadn't won the ACC Championship since 1979. It would have been great to have a shot at that again. Anyway--my point. When the game ended, Anderson was very disappointed. Trying to put things into proper perspective and relieve his heartache, my response to him was this: In the grand scheme of things, this is just a game--a game that will be forgotten. We have so much to be thankful for--we have each other, we have our health, we have a beautiful home and a wonderful life.

Sure, it was a speech that many parents give their children. And yes, I could have recited it without a lot of thought. Only I didn't. Maybe I needed to hear those words more than he did--our life is BLESSED. Beyond measure. And while I can easily fret over silly things like the game or the fact that I haven't, for example, stayed on top of this blog like I want to, the truth is I am exquisitely blessed. And I am so incredibly grateful to God for reminding me that a heart of gratitude is the only way to keep a proper perspective in the midst of disappointment.

This Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks--for my God who has loved me way more than I have ever deserved and Who has given me more than I could have even dreamed for myself; for my husband who, though I occasionally do want to ring his sweet little neck, is the most amazing and loving husband and father, whose integrity and honesty are rare and precious, whose strong work ethic has reaped us great rewards, and who really loves me in spite of myself; for my children who are truly more amazing than I ever dreamed they would be and who really love me and remind me that true love never dies and always forgives; for my parents and sisters who first taught me what love and family are really meant to be--loyal, faithful, honest, and merciful; for the family I married into who is so much like the family I was born into that loving them and maybe just as importantly--liking them--is effortless; and for my dear, close friends who are the most understanding, loving, faithful, kind, supportive, and loyal people one could ever know. Really. Saying I am "blessed" feels like the understatement of the century.

Who knows when I will blog again? Hopefully soon? But I won't hold myself to it. I'll get to it when I get to it, and if I don't have an expectation for myself, I am less likely to be disappointed. But even if I am, I am cognizant of the way to overcome it.

Gratitude.

like mother, like son

2010-08-24T10:54:00.006-04:00

I often say that Bennett is so much like me, and sometimes that isn't really a compliment. He has my determination, strong will, drive, ability to "communicate", competitive nature, outgoing personality and love of performing and achieving, all which can work in his favor. Or not.

I love those traits when they produce pleasant results. You know, like when his determination keeps him working at a skill until he has achieved it; when his strong will won't let him back down from failure until he achieves success; when he is driven to learn new things; when he can communicate his feelings effectively so that others can understand; when he gives 100% while playing a game because he likes to win.

But these powers can be used for good or for evil, like when his determination and strong will lead to disobedience; or when his communication skills keep him from filtering and he becomes disrespectful or downright ugly; when his competitive nature urges him to argue that he is taller or older than children who are clearly taller or older than he is. And sometimes we overachievers fall into the trap of thinking we are what we do--that if we "can't get it right", then we are miserable failures unworthy of love and acceptance.

It is a balancing act for us as parents--trying to teach our children that they are not of this world, that they are a part of God's kingdom where NO performance is necessary to obtain love, favor, or acceptance because any branch that clings to a vine WILL naturally produce fruit, and love, favor and acceptance are all a part of an unearned inheritance freely given to us. But, at the same time, we are teaching them to live IN this world, where there is a world's system that often works contrary to Jesus' teachings. They WILL have to perform to make it through school. They WILL have to perform to get into college. They WILL have to perform to get a job. You get my drift....

So yesterday, I got yet another glimpse of how much Bennett really is like his mother. When I went to kindergarten, I already knew how to read and write very well. A kindergarten classmate still teases me to this day about the fact that I used to sit in the teacher's big rocking chair with the class at my feet and read to them on a regular basis so that my teacher could avoid doing her job. Anyway, when I asked my mom recently why I knew how to do those things she replied, "Because you wanted to learn, so you did." I remember being so eager and excited about learning and knowing how to do new things. And I see this in Bennett, which does excite me a little because Anderson was quite the opposite at this age, preferring sports and gross motor development over writing, cutting, drawing, coloring, pasting, etc. It was so difficult to get Anderson intersted in schoolwork at all that I marvel that he is now a very intelligent sixth grader who loves to read and is a very good writer.

Anyway, back to my story...

Yesterday evening, Bennett decides he wants to write his name. I sit with him to do it because he can't remember how to write e's sometimes unless I walk him through it. He must have started his name 4 times, and if he made a mistake on his e's, he insisted on starting over. A little perfectionism? Yep. I recognize that trait, too.

Finally, he wrote his whole name, by himself. The only help he got from me was the reassurance he was doing things correctly. He couldn't have been prouder of his achievement. He smiled from ear to ear. I wish I had a picture of his face when he was done. I don't.

But I do have a picture of his work. Check it out. Not bad for a four-year old newby, right? :) His letters are in order and on a fairly straight line. Like my OCD mother, I admire that straight, neat, orderly style.

So for those moments I have wanted to yank my hair out (or his) during a battle of wills or when his mouth gets him in trouble (as mine always did...and still does), I cherish moments like these when he is an enthusiastic and fun learner, or when he snuggles me at nap time and says, "You are my best Mom", or when he sings a made-up song about how much he loves me, and when I walk in the door and he runs to me with open arms for big hugs. Those wonderful moments far, far, far outweigh the difficult ones, and for that I am grateful. And still sane.

mountain bound

2009-10-18T16:41:00.002-04:00

I have always fancied myself a true "beach person"--warm weather, sunny skies, a beautiful and refreshing ocean to dip into, and sand between my toes--I love it all. But I have discovered in recent years that the mountains have begun to lure me, and being in the mountains in the fall may be every bit as enjoyable as being at the beach in the summer. It is still a bit shocking for me that I have begun to feel this way. But I have.

Last weekend, we made a last-minute trip to Blowing Rock, North Carolina to see the fall foliage and to give my boys their first taste of the mountains. We learned that the leaves were becoming vibrantly red, orange, and gold, and we wanted to see them. Plus, we had never taken the boys to Tweetsie Railroad, so we wanted to take them there before it closes for the winter.

We left around 9 am last Sunday morning and arrived in Boone around noon for lunch. After lunch, we headed over to Tweetsie Railroad, a small theme park in the mountains at Blowing Rock that features a three mile ride on an historic steam engine. During the ride, the train pauses for shows put on by "cowboy and Indian" actors. Paul and I both enjoyed Tweetsie Railroad as children, so being back there again brought back such wonderful memories for us both.

The boys had so much fun at Tweetsie. They loved riding the trains (the steam engine and a smaller one), the ski lift, the airplanes and helicopter ride, the tilt-a-whirl, the Drop Zone, the Tornado, the ferris wheel, the go carts, and the kiddie boats. Bennett especially loved flying in his own airplane at least five different times, and Anderson rode the Drop Zone ride at least six times. They also loved playing in the arcade, visiting the Deer Park (a petting zoo with goats, deer, pigs, llamas, etc.), and visiting the gift shops.

After spending several hours at Tweetsie, we left to check into our hotel. Paul was very dear and booked us a room at The Chetola Resort (www.chetola.com) because he knows that a clean hotel with nice amenities makes his wife incredibly happy. The Chetola Resort is set on a mountainside with Chetola Lake below. Our room had a stunning view of this lake with a backdrop of trees and their rich golden leaves. We were a short walk from downtown Blowing Rock which may be have one of the most charming streets I have ever seen! I really want to return soon just to visit all of the shops there.

Monday morning we went to Grandfather Mountain (www.grandfather.com). Unfortunately for us, it rained the entire day, so when we ventured onto the Blue Ridge Parkway, our views were obscured by dense fog and steady rain. We still drove up to the entrance of Grandfather Mountain's park, and the drive there was very enjoyable (though a bit nauseating with all of the curves) because the golden leaves draped the narrow, winding roads.

After our trip up the mountain, we descended to a town called Valle Crucis that Paul and I had visited on a trip there years ago. There is a store there called Mast General Store (which now has several locations--www.mastgeneralstore.com). Since 1883, the Mast family ran this store until selling it a few decades ago. During its early years, the family tried to carry all of the items their neighbors might need - from plows to cloth and "Cradles to Caskets," which led to the popular saying, "If you can't buy it here, you don't need it." Today, the store is on the national register of historic places as an example of an old country store. It still offers a wide variety of products. The boys' favorite section of this store is the candy section. There are literally barrels and barrels and crates and boxes of various candies. Each person takes a basket and picks out the candy they like best. All four of us chose our candies, then we headed upstairs to the toys section. The toys are a real throw-back as you can find all of the toys our parents played with as kids--from paddles with the attached balls to pick-up sticks to old-fashioned cars and aiplanes. We then stopped by the old-fashioned coca cola cooler to pick out our own bottled sodas to enjoy.

I think I may have had tears in my eyes most of our time in the store because it made me miss my grandparents terribly. Everything there reminded me of them--from the soda bottles to the games they used to give us each Christmas to the candy selection. Even the way the old floors creaked evoked memories of Grandpa taking me to an old country store outside of Troy, NC where he would buy me a pack of M&M's and a bottled coke. And the chocolate stars in the candy bins reminded of the my Granddaddy who would buy me those treats at the Belk candy counter every time we went to North Hills Mall.

We left Mast General Store for Greensboro where we stopped and spent a few hours with Paul and Ava (Paul's parents, in case you didn't know) and to cut our trip in half. It was nice to relax there by the fire and eat some delicious Brunswick Stew and to rest up before we drove the last leg of our trip.

Ahhhh.....the mountains of North Carolina. I want to go back! And we will.....a ski trip this winter is in the works. Can't wait!!!

more at jockey's ridge

2009-10-16T22:09:00.000-04:00

more jockey's ridge photos

2009-10-16T22:06:00.001-04:00

wright bros & jockey's ridge photos

2009-10-16T22:06:00.000-04:00

kite flying at the wright brothers memorial

2009-10-16T22:04:00.000-04:00

a trip to the outer banks

2009-10-01T20:07:00.006-04:00

The more I travel and sight see, I grow in my appreciation of two things: One, I can't help but appreciate the beauty of God's creation. He is far and away the most masterful, creative, imaginative, thoughtful, brilliant Creator. Two, I become more convinced that I live in the most beautiful state in America. North Carolina's bookends are the majestic, alluring Appalachian mountains in the west whose color, in a few weeks, will be saturated with brilliant hues of gold, red, orange, yellow, green, amber, etc. and the mesmerizing, robust waters of the Atlantic in the east. And in between you find some of the most beautiful landscapes--sand hills, forests, pastures, farmland, plains, foothills--along with lakes, rivers, creeks, swamps and streams. I especially love to stumble upon the old farmhouses "in the middle of nowhere" with tin roofs, fencing in need of new paint, and woodsheds and wash houses out back. They take me back to my childhood on my grandparents' farm in the Uwharrie Mountains. But that is another blog for another day.

For the Brewers, the end of September and the beginning of October was spent in the Outer Banks. This was my children's first trip to "OBX", and I must say that this historic, well-known part of our state never disappoints. This part of our coast is rich in history, from being the home of the country's very first British colony, to a safe haven for slaves after the Civil War, to the infamous "Graveyard of the Atlantic", to the place where German submarines stalked American shores during World War II, to the place where the first airplane actually flew. The history alone is enough to lure you there.

But the Outer Banks have so much more to offer. The landscape is breathtaking. Watching the sunset at Jockey's Ridge (the largest Sand dunes on the East Coast), driving along miles of untouched beaches, visiting lighthouses that stand proudly along the shores, climbing the steps of the tallest brick lighthouse in America (Cape Hatteras Light House), driving across the Pamlico and Roanoke Sounds and the Alligator River, walking through the beautiful forests where the "Lost Colony" was once established, and watching ocean creatures swim under the pier off of our hotel were only highlights of the beauty we enjoyed on this trip.

This was truly one of our all time favorite family trips. Each of us loved the Outer Banks for different reasons.

For Paul, his favorite part of the trip was probably visiting The Wright Brothers Museum. Even though we had both been there before, we both had goosebumps as we re-read the history of the first flight and walked the trail that they blazed with that first flight. Our favorite quote was from one of the brothers who said, "Isn't it astonishing that all these secrets have been preserved for so many years just so we could discover them!" It reminded me of the Scripture from Daniel, "For there is a God who reveals secrets" and from a quote in the Shack when Sarayu tells Mac that God has hidden things from us because he knows the joy we experience in seeking and discovering.

As soon as we arrived at the Wright Brothers Memorial, we were able to fly handmade kites with the park rangers. About twenty families joined us and the rangers as we spread across the grass that now covers that famous landmark and released those trash bag kites into the wind! Even though the kites were made of brown trash bags, it was a beautiful site! Then, private planes began to land at the landing strip next to us, and it really brought home to us the evolution of flight--from kites to planes. What an amazing invention God allowed those Wright boys to discover!

Anderson's favorite part of the trip was the evening that he and his dad went fishing on Kitty Hawk Pier. Unbeknownst to them, the blues were running, and Anderson and Paul, along with their fellow fishermen, began to reel in fish after fish after fish. It was truly an exciting and unexpected experience. I feel like God just directed the fish under the pier that evening just for my little boy, like he did for his disciples when he told them to cast their nets to the other side of the boat and they almost caught more fish than they could handle. Anderson and Paul ended up giving their fish to some of their new fishing buddies on the pier who were happy to take them home to eat.

Bennett probably loved almost everything about the trip. He was all smiles running up and down the sand dunes at Jockey's Ridge. He was deliriously happy just riding the elevator (which he calls a "yemenator", a combination of his word for lemonade and elevator). He also loved frolicking with his brother and dad at Bodie Island Lighthouse, playing in the arcade at a restaurant we visited near Cape Hatteras Light House, and eating cookies each night that were free in our hotel lobby.

I loved everything about our trip, but each moment really does have a special significance to me. When Anderson and I walked the stairs to the top of Cape Hatteras Light House, I was a bit teary eyed because the first time I had made that climb all I could think about was how much I wished he and Paul could be with me (this was P.B.--pre-Bennett). Anderson has acquired a fear of heights, so he was happy to keep his back against the lighthouse and preferred not to move towards the railings, but that was fine by me. We still stood there and took in the view. There really are not adequate words in the English language to describe that view.

Other highlights for me were just driving down that beautiful stretch of the Croatan Highway from Kitty Hawk to Hatteras, watching my boys play video games in the arcade at a mom-and-pop pizza joint near the lighthouse, running by myself in the morning down the streets of Kitty Hawk, grabbing Starbucks and breakfast for the boys after my run, seeing my first giant stingray in the wild floating gingerly under the pier (which, incidently, inspired Anderson to do his ocean animal report on stingrays), snuggling Bennett while Anderson and Paul fished that night, eating Duck Donuts, sitting beside the Wright Brothers Memorial and taking in the view of both the Atlantic Ocean and the Roanoke Sound, going to Fort Raleigh and walking on the same soil as the members of the Lost Colony, going backstage where the play "The Lost Colony" is performed, going to the North Carolina Aquarium at Roanoke and watching the boys play with stingrays and gawk at the sharks, and even doing school work with Anderson in the hotel lobby while Bennett napped in the room.

I am so thankful that we have chosen to keep Anderson home with us this year and that we are enjoying so many adventures with both of our boys as a result. I am more aware now of this truth than I ever have been: Time is always moving. No force of man can stop it. The only power we have is the power of choice--we can choose to seize each moment we are given and not allow time to steal any more from us than necessary. I thank God that He has given us both the opportunity and the wisdom to seize these moments.

castle mcculloch photos

2009-09-23T20:29:00.004-04:00

From the previous post, here are a few photos, thanks to "Nanny" (Anna, my sister).

castle mcculloch

2009-09-22T11:29:00.004-04:00

Last month, Anderson revisited the subject of the earth's rocks and minerals in science. He had originally studied this in the third grade, but since this is a topic which interests him, and since we were going to next study fossils, I thought this study would be a great precursor to that.

So, after studying the layers of earth, minerals, gemstones, and rocks, there was no better field trip for us to take than to the Castle McCulloch in Jamestown, North Carolina.

The Castle McCulloch was once a gold refinery built by Charles McCulloch who was inspired by the architecture of his native England. This refinery housed the latest technological development in that time--the steam engine. McCulloch Gold Mill was built in 1832 and operated for many years as an integral part of the history of gold mining in North Carolina and in the nation. The gold rush in California lured miners west, and the "castle" eventually became a hospital for injured soldiers in the Civil War. Over the years, the property was abandoned and left to deteriorate until a man named Richard Harris purchased it for $1,500 and refurbished it. Now, Castle McCulloch is a beautiful property, ideal for parties, weddings, tours, and events. The castle itself is stunning, and the surrounding property with its streams, pond, forests and landscaping is breathtaking. I think this property must be especially beautiful in the fall with all of its rich, deep hues and textures.

We were able to "round up" at least fifteen people to join us on the field trip. My sister, Anna, who researched this location and thought it would be an ideal place for a field trip, joined us with her son, Jackson. My sister, Laura, bravely brought her three children (ages four, twenty-one months, and nine months), too. Then, Paul's cousin's wife, Heather, joined us with her children and friends, and our friend, Dawn, brought her daughters and mom, too. Because we had a group, the castle was opened to us outside of normal operating hours for just $8 per person if you mined for gemstones and $4 per person if you did not. So, from 11 am to 2 pm, we had the full attention of our tour guide as we explored.

First, we met in the small rocks and minerals museum on site. We were all able to take home a stone as a souvenir. Anderson chose fool's gold (pyrite), I chose a piece of amethyst, and Bennett chose a peacock stone that was exquisite--bright royal blue with metallic flecks in it.

Next, our tour guide took us to a huge rock quarry whose property is adjacent to the castle's site. That was a highlight of the tour for me as we had just studied the layers of earth, so having a close-up view of layers of rock which reached over 450 feet tall was a treat. There was a lookout point with railings (still made me a bit nervous with the kids, though) where we could stand and watch the excavations and rock breaking that was going on below. The equipment looked like they were the size of match box cars from our view. Eventually, when they have removed all they can from this area, they will fill this gigantic hole with water. As someone who used to jump off cliffs in high school at an old quarry, I never realized how very, very deep that water was. I only knew that none of us could ever find the bottom!

Next we ventured back to the castle where we saw the adjacent building used for parties and entertaining. They were built as replicas of the queen of England's tents. The chandelier was the largest of its kind in North Carolina, made of thousands of hand-picked crystals, and the glass which surrounded most of the building was recycled and done by hand.

We then followed a beautiful trail over a large wooden bridge that stretched over the place where the pond empties into a stream. Beyond the bridge was another bridge (which looked like a draw bridge) that led to the huge double doors of the castle. The castle looks like it has a moat around it! We toured the inside of the castle, with its beautiful hardwood floors, suits of armor, ornate woodworking, iron chandeliers, stone, and high ceilings. We also watched a fifteen minute video on the history of the castle.

Next, we went mining! We all were able to mine for gold and gemstones. Playing in the sand and water and finding these treasures were such treats for the boys. They found all kinds of stones--from emeralds, to amethysts, to pyrite, to rose quartz, to a variety of other stones.

We concluded our trip with lunch out by the pond under one of the tents on the property that is just by the bridge. It was peaceful and relaxing. It had been raining most of the day, but by this point, the earth was wet and silent. The boys were lethargic and still. It was a much-needed rest from a very busy day. But what fun!

I hope to post pictures very soon....I just have to get them from my sister since my camera's memory card was not in it--a discovery I did not make until after we arrived at the castle.

an afternoon at pullen park

2009-09-22T10:17:00.007-04:00

As you can read from previous posts, we really love Fridays around here. Fridays are typically our field trip days. The week of Labor Day, we had to have school on Friday since we took Monday off. But, since we can finish school in a few hours, especially when we have tests (which we do at the end of the week), we were able to spend most of the day together as a family, just having fun.

After tests were completed, we ate lunch at Carolina Ale House. This restaurant is one of the boys' favorites because it has sports memorabilia and lots of tv's showing various sporting events. In fact, I think they walk in, fingers crossed, saying hail mary's with rosary beads in hand (and we're not even Catholic), praying that the hostess will seat us in the "NC State" section. Unfortunately, that section's booths were taken, so were relegated to the far-less-interesting, not nearly as visually appealing "Carolina" section. Ugh. The boys were not happy about that.

After lunch, we headed over to Pullen Park for some good ol' family time. The weather was beautiful--a late summer day with plenty of sunshine and temperatures which remind you that fall is indeed just a few weeks away--a truly perfect day to enjoy the outdoors.

First, we rode the train which encircles most of the park. It is the same train I loved to ride as a young girl; Actually, I still love to ride it! To be able to ride that same train with my children now brings such joy to my soul. It is the merging of my own childhood memories with the memories my boys are creating for themselves, right before my eyes. There's something so indescribably sweet and precious about that.

After the train ride, the boys and I played on the swings and monkey bars while Paul bought more tickets for the boys to ride the kiddie boats and the carousel. I was a bit sad to see that Anderson had outgrown the kiddie boats. He barely fit in them! But, he was willing to endure a cramped space with little leg room and a tinge of embarassment so that his brother could enjoy the ride. Bennett generally doesn't like to ride things like this without his big bro at his side.

We finished our day at the park with a ride on the carousel. Again, my boys enjoyed the same ancient, beautiful carousel that I rode as a child. I love that the operators allow the ride to last quite awhile. In fact, by the time the ride ended, I felt a bit queasy. Sadly, I am getting less amusement-park-ride-tolerant as I age. I want to change that!

I will probably write and say this so much that friends get tired of reading and hearing it, but I am so grateful that God led us to teach Anderson at home this year. It kinda reminds me of the credit card commercial...

The cost of homeschool materials--$300.

Weekly field trips--$25

Hours spent per week teaching and planning--20.

Number of chores left undone as a result--lots.

Good quality time with my children...

Priceless.

more museum pics

2009-09-08T16:40:00.002-04:00

the fossil dig

2009-09-06T20:50:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in the previous post, we had a fossil dig in our sand box in the back yard on Wednesday. It was a beautiful, cool, fall-like day on Wednesday, ideal weather for an outdoor science experiment.

Since Anderson is studying fossils, I took him outside with containers of old playdough, a large spoon, salad tongs, and a cookie sheet. We explored our woods looking for objects that we could imprint in the playdough. This would demonstrate how an object can leave its mark in soil and rock that then hardens and can be studied thousands of years later. We found acorns, pine needles, pine cones, mushrooms, sticks, a snail, and leaves. We rolled out our playdough and placed each item firmly into it, leaving a clearly visible, distinct imprint. We then allowed the playdough to harden.

Next, I took several of those objects and buried them in our sandbox. Anderson had to carefully dig to find each of the objects without damaging them during his excavation. This demonstrated to him how scientists must be very careful, working tediously to recover fossils without damaging them.

Although we had plenty of unwanted help from our Golden Retriever, Hampton, and even though Bennett had a difficult time understanding why he couldn't just run his large truck all over the sandbox while "Bubba" was digging, we had a good time. Just being outside with my boys, basking in warm sunshine and cool breezes, was a gift to this teacher.

full days, fossils, field trips, and friday fun

2009-09-06T19:37:00.004-04:00

It seems that my only time to blog is on the weekends. My weekdays are filled with school work, planning, cleaning, cooking, football practices, and playtime with the boys. Yes, my schedule is chock-full of various tasks, but I am so happy that we made the decision to teach Anderson at home this year. We are having fun!

This past week kept us very busy! With football practices, the first NC State home football game of the season, a doctor's appointment for both boys to have physicals and vaccinations, and a field trip planned, we wanted to have as little work to do as possible on Friday so we could go to the museum. I have learned that I must carefully plan our weeks as you have to complete a certain amount of work each day to not get behind. (And the perfectionist tendency in me does not want to ever be behind!) My goal is to try to finish school by the beginning of May to give Anderson a long break before he starts sixth grade next August. In order to do that, we work anywhere from three to five hours a day on school work, and lately it seems that our school day has extended from 8:30 am to 1:30 pm with a thirty minute break around 10:30 am.

On Monday, we had a very full, long day. I think it was our longest school day ever; we wrapped up our day by 2 pm, but it was necessary since the boys had their appointment with Dr. Britt (our favorite pediatrician) and a football practice on Tuesday, and I didn't want to have to work into the afternoon that day. Anderson and I are at our best in the morning hours, for sure. On Wednesday we had a beautiful fall-like day which was perfect for our fossil dig! I will write about that and post photos in the next blog. On Thursday, we had a full day of school followed by football practice and NC State's first home football game of the season. Sadly, we lost to South Carolina 7-3, but at least it was close. Thursday was Granddaddy Paul's birthday, so he and Ava (aka Grammy) spent the night with us after the State game so that Paul could take his dad to play golf for his birthday on Friday morning. So, on Friday morning, Grammy went with the boys, Jackson (my nephew who is in the second grade and is also homeschooled) and me to the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences in downtown Raleigh. We have been to this museum several times, and we always enjoy it.

Since Anderson has been studying fossils and dinosaurs, I especially wanted us to see those particular exhibits that are there. They are fantastic! So much of what Anderson had learned about was on display, and since I had researched the exhibits before we went, I had him read about the Acrocanthosaurus, a dinosaur whose fossils are on display and were found in this part of the country. It is a dinosaur that was very similar to the T-Rex.

Even though we visited the museum to see the fossil and dinosaur exhibits, we enjoyed browsing the entire museum. Anderson liked the bugs and butterflies exhibits especially. We were able to have the butterfly house all to ourselves, and several butterflies lit on Anderson and Ava! Bennett was enthralled with the stuffed animals that are on display on the lower level of the museum, just past the entrace. He kept asking me to hold him as he looked at a large stuffed panther, an owl, a Bald Eagle, and the gigantic teeth of a Great White Shark. Whew! Were they huge!

After spending two full hours at the museum, we went to the City Market and ate at Big Ed's with my brother-in-law, Jordan who works downtown. Ava especially loved this old-fashioned restaurant that serves some delicious, old-fashioned, southern country cookin'! It was delicious, and the portion size was extra generous which is, I can only assume, in keeping with the namesake of the restaurant, Big Ed.

On Saturday, we went on a family bike ride on the American Tobacco Trail. My dad surprised me this week with a new bike of my own. I have not had my own bike since he and Mom gave me my ten-speed when I was a child. So, needless to say, I was so excited! We biked for eight miles, and during the ride, Anderson kept telling me he didn't feel well. As it turns out, he has a virus and has been sick all day today. Thankfully, he seems much better tonight. Prayers are being answered as we were very concerned he had the flu. Whatever it was, it appears God is taking care of it quickly for us, and we are grateful.

What a week! Thankfully we have the day off tomorrow to rest and prepare for another busy week to come. Labor Day is here, and summer officially ends. Fall.....here we come! Adventures await...

more photos from field trip friday

2009-08-30T17:12:00.005-04:00

field trip friday

2009-08-30T16:13:00.006-04:00

When we started planning our school weeks for our new school, we decided that Friday would be "Field Trip Friday". Each Friday, our aim is to visit a place (within a reasonable driving distance) that is optimally related to something we are studying, have studied or will study in school.

This past Friday, Anderson wanted to visit some of the military museums in Fayetteville and Fort Bragg. Since we are commencing our study of World War I, I thought this was a fantastic choice for a field trip. So, on Friday morning after Anderson finished a few tests, he, Bennett and I hopped into the car for a quick trip down to Fayetteville.

When we arrived on base at Fort Bragg, we first had to have our car inspected. That's right--in order to enter Fort Bragg, they have to approve you and your car for entry. That meant that I had to show a valid driver's license and car registration and that I had to open my hood, my trunk, and every door on the car for inspection. .

Once inside the base, we first visited the JFK Special Warfare Museum. This is a very small museum, but it was interesting nonetheless. It didn't take us long to browse, and soon the boys were ready to move to the next museum. My favorite part of this museum was seeing a stuffed Sunshine Bear that the troops had adopted (the bear had been orphaned) during the Vietnam War and brought home--with special permission of the federal government--to Fort Bragg after the war. Sadly, the bear died of pneumonia two years later. The full-grown bear was only about 3 feet tall . It looked like an adolescent brown bear cub with a golden stripe down its face. (Thus, the reason for its name--the Sunshine Bear.)

Next, we headed for the 82nd Airborne Division Museum. It took too long to find it as Google had not given me correct directions, nor had the guard at the entrance to the post. However, after prayer with the boys, we found it. (This would be an example of a time when I realized I should have prayed a lot earlier than I did because as soon as we prayed, we found it within one minute. Lesson learned.) While trying to find our destination, though, we happened to see a unit marching through the base. Their commanding officer was a woman, and we could hear her shouting, "Left....right....left, right, left." The cars all slow to a respectful crawl which gave us plenty of time to observe and snap a few photos.

The 82nd Airb0rne Museum is a museum dedicated to preserving the history of the 82nd Airborne Division of the U.S. Army. This museum has lots of aircraft, tanks, helicopters, and guns outside. The boys loved inspecting them all! Anderson, being the history buff that he is, even explained some of the artillery to me.

Inside this museum, they have an area where mannequins are dressed as soldiers in various displays. The first display is in a darkened room which contains several U.S. soldier mannequins in a trench in the middle of battle where you hear the violent sounds of World War II. This made quite an impression on Anderson as he stood there for a long time, visualizing what it must have been like for those soldiers who dug themselves into dark and dirty trenches in unknown lands to fight for not only their own freedom but for the freedom of other nations. When we finished our tour of the museum, he returned to this spot, and I watched as he took it all in one last time.

Next, we left the base to head to downtown Fayetteville for The Airborne and Special Operations Museum. This museum is much larger than the others, and it is impressive. It has several sections, all of which retell the history of the Airborne and Special Operations units from pre-World War II, through the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Cold War, Dessert Storm, the war on terror, etc. There is so much history to be relived as you wander the aisles of this grand museum, but we did not have time to absorb even a fraction of it. Instead, we looked at the impressive displays, equipment, guns, soldiers, and even paused to watch clips from videos along the way. Bennett wanted to crawl on top of several of the displays, but we managed to keep him off for the most part.

At the end of our tour through the museum, we purchased tickets for a simulator ride! Bennett was so excited about riding on a "sim-e-yator" that when I told him what we were going to do, he loudly replied, "Wi-ye (Really), Mom? We get to go on a sim-e-yator?! Yea!!" Everyone in the 5,000 square foot lobby could hear as his giddy voice echoed off the five-story walls. He hugged me so tightly and told me over and over what a great day this had been and how he "yuved" me "foreva". In fact, he added, "I yuv you so much, Mom, I wi-ye (really), wi-ye, yuv you." However, when we fastened our seat belts on the simulator, he changed his mind and wanted to exit. I held his hand, told him he would love it, and he did! Within ten seconds after the ride began, he was entranced.

The simulator "provides visitors with an extreme taste of what the Army's finest are trained to do. " You get to experience what it is like to ride a Humvee, an army motorcycle, parachute out of a plane, and ride in an army helicopter. (The helicopter part of the simulator made me so nauseous that I had to put on my sunglasses and stare up and back at the exit sign. Whew! I was glad when that part ended. The boys were unfazed, of course.)

On our way back to Raleigh, we passed by a Krispy Kreme on Bragg Boulevard. The perfect way to end our trip, we agreed, was to make a pit stop for a few doughnuts. The "hot now" sign was not on (this is usually my motivation to stop--I love hot doughnuts), but the ten-minute delay in returning home was well worth it.

An hour later, we were home. Bennett napped most of the way home, and Anderson watched Star Wars (of course). As for me, I spent most of the ride home eating doughnuts and thinking about how thankful I am that I am Anderson's teacher this year. I am so grateful that God opened a door for me and gave me the courage to walk through it. Homeschooling isn't easy, but it is much easier than I anticipated. Yes, it is time consuming, but not nearly as time consuming as it is for him to attend school. The best part of homeschooling so far has been the time--the time spent with my boys, the time saved, the time I cannot ever recapture but can make the most of while it is here.

more photos from bennett's backyard bash

2009-08-25T14:01:00.005-04:00

Bennett's backyard birthday bash

2009-08-25T12:53:00.009-04:00

On Saturday, our Boo turned 3. For weeks now he has been counting the days down on our calendar. He has been so excited for his party that he kept telling me, "My party is open now, Mom", which means that he wanted his party to happen right then, at that very moment. He would even argue with me about it (hence, the reason I started pulling out the calendar to prove to him that it was not his birthday.)

I know a lot of people say it is hard to believe that their child is growing so quickly, but when I really pondered that idea this weekend, I realized that it does in fact seem like he should be turning three. No, it doesn't seem like just yesterday that he was born. It seems like it was about....um...say.....3 years ago that this precious soul entered the world. Maybe time has not passed as quickly because I am learning how to live in each moment, in today--not tomorrow or yesterday--and I have found that time really does slow down when you are savoring each moment you are given. Regardless of the reason, I am glad that it doesn't feel like Bennett is growing too quickly. I am enjoying (almost) every minute with him. (Look, if we are being honest here, poor attitudes, exhibitions of a strong will, and begging are not enjoyable for me. Thankfully, we don't have too many of those moments.)

We celebrated Bennett's big day by hosting "Bennett's Backyard Bash" for a few of his playmates, their families, and some of our extended family. We borrowed our friend's bouncy house for the kids to burn as much energy as possible (a must when hosting a toddler's birthday party), blew bubbles with a bubble machine, had my sister do some face (or exposed body part) painting, played on the playset, took hits at a pinata, ate pizza from Dominos (because it was the easiest food to serve), ate cake from Blue Moon Bakery (because it is my absolute favorite), and just had an all around good time.

The weather forecast for Saturday was not favorable for our outdoor party--all day rain. But fortunately, since the party started at 10 am, it didn't rain until we ate lunch around 11:45. Talk about perfect timing.

Three years ago, God sent into our world one of the two most wonderful human beings to ever grace the planet. (I am not at all biased.) We rejoice every day for the gift of Bennett, but being able to have a day solely dedicated to celebrating his life was pure joy! Bennett was absolutely delighted, as you can imagine. He was the CUTEST singing Happy Birthday to himself all day long. And at day's end, he informed me, "I want to have my birthday again, Mom!"

Well, of course he does. We're already counting it down together on the calendar.

in search of a new attitude

2009-08-17T20:43:00.003-04:00

In the previous post, I mentioned the old adage, "Some days are better than others." That particular day was a glorious one in the Brewer house. This day, however, is classified near the other end of that spectrum.

Don't get me wrong. We are blessed. We have no complaints of any merit. But today, I ended up catching the Monday Blues, or some other variation or strain of it. Maybe it is fatigue, maybe it is a hormonal swing (though I don't think so), or maybe....I'm just in a funk today. I have vascillated between laughter and tears, gentle whispers and not-so-gentle "voice raising", silence and noise all.....day......long.

It is no surprise, then, that my moodiness affected our classroom today. Somehow, Anderson fell victim to my contagious funk, shedding his own tears and saying, "I don't know why I am crying." He really didn't. I think we were both just exhausted, which meant he was struggling to concentrate at one point during the day. Thankfully, we talked it out, and we were both happy, enjoying school again. We are both committed to making this process as fun and as easy for one another as possible. And that has made all the difference.

Of course, Bennett is sure to have been affected by my mood swings today. He has been more strong-willed and ornery than usual, which, though I am not proud to admit it, has not helped my mood. At all.

In spite of feeling melancholy and tired, there were highlights of our day. One, Paul called and asked if he could take Bennett and me out to dinner. That is always a welcome invitation! Anderson did not go with us because he was with his granddaddy buying a new puppy. (No, not for him. For Granddaddy.) Granddaddy is the proud of owner of the cutest, fluffiest, blackest chow puppy in the world. He really is adorable. We grew up with chows and have always maintained an affinity for this breed.

I am ready to say goodnight to this day and ready to embrace tomorrow and all that it has in store. I am so glad that God's mercy and grace are renewed for me each day. I am thankful that God gives grace where I fall short, mercy when I fall down, and faithful love that I always fall into. I pray that my children, whose forgiveness I have had to ask today as I have not been as patient or as kind as I want to be, will learn in my shining moments how "God stoops down and makes us great" (Psalm 18:35) and in my less-than-shining moments how "God gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

Huh. How about that? Just pausing to reflect--on the day, and on the goodness of the One who gave it to me--has caused me to stumble onto what I was searching for all along. I found a new attitude.

and we're off...

2009-08-13T14:39:00.004-04:00

Some days really are better than others. And this one goes down in Brewer family history as one of the more memorable, enjoyable days.

It all began when we my dear husband informed me this morning that he wanted to start running with me again. Of course, he courted me by running with me in college, so this was a delightful surprise, to say the least. We also wanted Anderson to join us for a mile, and though he was very reluctant, he did it. He ran almost a mile then got his bike to ride with us for the next two miles of our run. Bennett ran a few blocks, but for the most part, he was in the jogging stroller. And Hampton joined us, too, as he has become very fond of and accustomed to his daily run.

The best part of our run, other than the fact that we were all together as a family, was that it rained. No storms. Just cool, refreshing, gentle rain! I love running in the summer when it rains.

After we ran two miles, we paused for a swim in the pool. The boys were surprised when Paul and I jumped in for a swim in our running clothes! The pool was warm, and the rain was cool. It was a perfect combination.

After a good swim, we ran another mile home. By this time, it was almost 11, so we ate lunch and then began our very first day of school!! That's right--school is in session in the Brewer house!

Can I just take a moment to say that Anderson Brewer is one sharp kid? He really is. As we did math, Latin, grammar, history, Bible, reading and spelling, (all of which took between 2 1/2-3 hours in all) I marveled at how quickly he learned and how much knowledge the kid already has. He really impressed me today. I extend my deep, heartfelt gratitude to all of his teachers and the fine school that has helped provide him with an excellent, well-rounded education and the discipline and work ethic to breeze through subjects! I really did know that Anderson was very smart, but watching him work and learn was a very special opportunity for me, and I savored every moment of it. Being able to observe him in the learning process is certainly one of the biggest blessings of teaching him myself.

Anderson journaled at the end of school today, and he will not allow me to share it. I think he would be okay with me saying that he loved his first day of school. He has the wisdom to see the beauty in this season and to be grateful that we seized this opportunity. I do know that he is missing his friends, so we will have more playdates lined up before the weekend is over.

me and Bennett, we love to...

2009-08-11T23:22:00.005-04:00

I should begin by saying that Bennett's love language is most certainly time. The more quality time we spend with him, the happier he is. In fact, just spend an hour engaged with him, and he will be telling you, "I yuv you foreva." He means it.

When Bennett was a very young toddler, maybe just 18 months old, he loved to go to the pond with his daddy. This was one way that they enjoyed quality, one-on-one time together. Paul, being the clever dad that he is, made up a song that went something like this:

"Me and Bennett we love to go to the pond.
Me and Bennett we love to go to the pond."

I think at one time there were more lyrics, but this is the part we sang the most. When Bennett would get upset or cry, we would sing this song to him, and he would grin. Then, last summer, he fell in love with the ocean. So we altered the song a bit:

Me and Bennett, we love to go to the ocean.
Me and Bennett we love to play in the sand.
We like to build sandcastles and go fishing, too,
and jump in the waves of the ocean blue.

Now, whenever Bennett loves what he is doing with us, he makes up his own song to the same tune. Like today, he and I were hanging out together while Anderson and Paul had football practice. We watched the I-Carly episode again (previous post), and we made popcorn. As I am putting the popcorn in the bowl, I hear a familiar tune:

"Me and Bennett we love to eat popcorn."

No, he doesn't sing "Me and Mommy" because that is not the way that the song is sung. But I know what he means. His singing is just his way of saying, "I love when you spend time with me, Mom. It makes me happy; so happy, I want to sing."

confirmation and precious gifts

2009-08-10T18:33:00.004-04:00

On the homeschooling front, all curriculum is now ordered, all supplies have been purchased, and our notification has been sent to the state that we are an official homeschool. The past days have been filled with excitement, lots of preparation, and confirmation upon confirmation that we are exactly where we are meant to be. Here are just two examples:

One of my friends "accidentally" ordered two teacher's manuals for Latin, so she gave me one, leaving it for me on her front stoop while she was at school today. Attached was a note: Holly, HAVE FUN!!! No, this wasn't a sarcastic remark (after all, it is Latin we will be studying) but it was entirely genuine. My friends have been more than enthusiastic and fully supportive about our endeavor.

One of the most miraculous gifts to me was when my dear friend whose son was in the fifth grade last year at Anderson's school informed me that she had, "for some reason", kept all of her son's schoolwork, along with weekly class letters from the teacher (that Anderson was assigned to for this year) and her son's weekly assignment sheets outlining all that he did each week in class. Not only had she kept them, but she had neatly paperclipped the work from that week and carefully labeled it with the week and the quarter. Do you understand what that means? I now fully know what Anderson would have been doing at school each week. I will be able to gauge where we are in our home classroom in regards to where his class is! Since I am a fast typist, I can even duplicate quizzes and tests! Seeing that my dear friend had not known the reason for keeping these papers (and doing it in such an orderly fashion) reminded me that God had this planned all along. It is like He has handed me this gift on a carefully and beautifully crafted platinum platter!!

Anderson says he most misses recess and PE at school. This was when he was able to play football and kickball with his buddies. Thankfully, his buddy, Will, invited him and his other friends, Matthew and Sam, over after school on Friday. Anderson had so much fun having water fights with them. Each week, I'd optimally like to go to the school to pick up friends to come home with him. He will likely get more quality playtime with them now than he did at school.

On the Bennett front, I found four different activity books for preschoolers at Target in the dollar bins (gotta love those bins!). They feature shapes, colors, letters, numbers, etc. It doesn't matter to me that Bennett does a thing with these books, but I know he will feel special having his own "homework" books. Hopefully these, some playdough, and some watercolor paints will keep him busy while we homeschool.

I will close with a cute Boo story from today. I needed to plan my first week of homeschool, so I asked him if he would like to watch a show he had begged me to DVR for him last week. On Friday afternoon, he kept telling me that he wanted to see "boxing on I-Car-yee" (I-Carly, from Nickelodeon, which is a teeny-bopper show, but since Anderson loves it, Bennett does, too). Today, as he is marching up the stairs to the playroom to watch it, he informs me: "Mom, I-Car-yee box Soapie Marx (Sophie Marx), and Soapie is mean, mean, mean. She is a mean goil (girl), Mom." I have no idea who he is talking about, but the way he says it is deliciously adorable!!! I could eat him with a spoon.

setting up shop (or, in our case, school) and a Boo story

2009-08-06T10:38:00.003-04:00

I am officially a teacher. I now know what it feels like to come up with lesson plans, order curriculum books and materials, organize school supplies, and plan field trips. It is hard to believe that less than 48 hours ago we made the decision to homeschool Anderson this year. Since then, I have been busy planning, dreaming and ordering--with Anderson's input, of course! After all, one of the purposes of teaching him myself is to allow him the freedom to question, investigate, and discover topics he is interested in without having to maintain the schedule required in a classroom environment.

In North Carolina, you have to give your "school" a name when you indicate that you are homeschooling. It is wise to choose a name that you are proud to put on your child's school records, so the boys decided on Wingate Hill Academy. This name has significance to our family, but since this blog can currently be read by strangers, I will digress.

Today, we are off to buy a few more things for our school. Once the curriculum materials are delivered, we will be off and running! So, it looks like next week, our school year will officially commence. Anderson and I are so very, very excited. We know it will be hard. We know there may be days we wonder what we are doing. But I am convinced that the joy will far outweigh the hardship.

Bennett will, of course, be a student at our school as well. He will have subjects like play-doh, watercolor, drawing, puzzles, "reading", etc. Since "Boo" has always wanted to do homework with "Bubba", he will probably be thrilled to have his own workspace in our school.

And speaking of Bennett, I have to share the sweetest remark he made this morning. First of all, he has been crawling up in my lap as I sit here at the computer ordering our supplies, wrapping his arms tightly around my neck, resting his head on my shoulder and whispering, "I yuv you foreva." Ah! Be still, my heart! But then this morning, he was upset that he couldn't find Anderson's NC State football. Here he was, all decked out in his NC State football jersey, and he couldn't find his favorite accessory to the outfit--the football. Well, last night, I found a junior NC State football for $8 and bought it for him for his birthday in a few weeks. To ease his troubled mind this morning, I told him I would give him one of his birthday presents if he would have a good attitude. Of course, his countenance instantly changed from gloom to joy. Then, I handed him the bag with the football in it. He peered inside, took a deep breath, and said, "Oh my gosh." (Yes, Laura, I've passed my habit onto him. We are trying to replace it with "Holy smokes", which works 50% of the time.) When he pulled it out, with uninhibited excitement he exclaimed, "This is my favorite football, Mom!" He was so sincere (because most two-year olds are, unless you are forcing them to apologize to their big brother for hitting him), and so elated. And an hour later, he has yet to put the football down.

adventures in homeschooling

2009-08-04T23:20:00.003-04:00

So anyone who knows me well knows that I have always said that while I totally support other parents' choice to homeschool their children, I could not ever imagine doing it myself. When, oh when will I learn that when I say things like that, I end up doing the very thing I said I wouldn't?

Well, today, after about a week of what I call "God nudges", thinking mostly hypothetically about what it would be like to take Anderson out of school for a year to teach him as we travel, play lots of golf, have lots of time with our family, etc., I made a life-changing decision, one I almost swore I would never make.

Today, Anderson became a homeschooler.

just another manic monday

2009-04-20T21:16:00.002-04:00

If Sundays are the laziest of days, Mondays are the craziest!

Today was our first full day with Hampton. Anderson stayed home because he has been suffering from those spring allergies and has felt rotten. Thankfully, he will be over them very soon. But, I am sure he was happy to stay home with his new baby. He took him for two walks today and fed him every meal; not to mention, he worked on Hampton's fetching and sitting skills. He did as much as he could and then would have to return inside to escape the pollen.

Although Anderson was home from school, I still had to drive carpool. My day started at 2 am when I got up to check on the puppy and take him out of his crate for a potty break. He was sound asleep, but he got up and "did his business" and happily went back to sleep. Then, at 6, I woke up again to take him out. Once again, he was asleep. So, I started my daily chores until he woke up around 6:30.

After carpool, it was off to Wal-Mart to buy more doggy supplies and other household items. As soon as I got home, Paul was repairing the fence where our beavers in the pond behind us had destroyed it. Bennett, of course, was "helping". I resumed chores, prepared an early lunch, helped Anderson with the dog, took a nice bath, then went to pick up the kids from school.

After school, it was off to the vet for Hampton's first visit! He is a healthy 23 pound 9 week old boy! Even the vet commented on his laid-back demeanor. Let's just pray he keeps that! :)

Following our veterinarian appointment, we went to Hibachi Express to pick up Japanese food and to Lowes Home Improvement so Paul could buy a new gate for the fence. We came home, ate quickly, hauled everyone (even Hampton) back into the car and went to Anna's house where she, Anderson, Hampton, Poppi (Anna's dog), Jackson and Webb played while Paul and I went to Bible study at Mom and Dad's next door.

Finally, we are home. I just finally finished my "Monday chores" and am settling in to watch Dancing With The Stars before bedtime.

And we'll do it all over again tomorrow...

sir hampton wallace brewer

2009-04-20T13:06:00.003-04:00

Paul and I are the proud grandparents of a 9 week old Golden Retriever. He was adopted yesterday by his daddy, Anderson, who gave him the most beautiful name: Sir Hampton Wallace Brewer. He was named Hampton because Anderson just liked the name, and we like that it sounds similar to the name of previous sweet dog, Samson. Paul, however, likes to call him "Hamp" for short. His middle name was given because Goldens originated in Scotland, and Anderson likes the movie Bravehart (which is about the heroic and tragic life of William Wallace who fought for Scotland's freedom).

Hampton is an adorable and stocky boy. His father, Rufus, weighs 110 pounds and is absolutely beautiful and playful. His mother, Katie Mae, is a sweetheart who is more average in size.

We are so happy to welcome sweet Hampton to our home. Anderson is doing well being fully responsible for his baby, and Paul and I are happy to babysit and play with our granddog whenever we can. Bennett thinks Hampton is mighty fine and loves laying on the floor beside him to give him some "sugar".

photos from Easter weekend

2009-04-13T14:11:00.002-04:00

Easter weekend

2009-04-13T13:33:00.007-04:00

Again, I am sorry to say that writing on facebook has stolen the time I used to spend keeping up with this blog. I am ready to reclaim this time and resume my blogging. I prefer a blog because it fulfills several purposes--keeping friends and family informed on what is going on with the Brewers, and providing a journal of sorts for us to remember events of the past.

The last few days have been eventful and fun! It was Easter weekend, and we had plenty of festivities to celebrate it all weekend long.

On Thursday, two of my very best friends since eighth grade--Kara and Kasey--came over with their children. Kara lives in Arlington, Virginia and Kasey lives about 20 minutes away from me. We had dinner together here at the house, and we "big girls" enjoyed a glass of wine while the children played out back. I love old friends--no matter how much time passes since you see one another, when you are reunited, it is as if no time has passed at all. You pick up right where you left off.

I was sorry that I neglected to take more photos of our time together. Just before Kasey left, we did manage to capture a few photos of our kids and us. Here they are:

On Friday--Good Friday--I had my first chiropractic adjustment (which I am thrilled about) at 7 am. I then came home to find out that my dear husband was giving me the day off! So, I left Bennett with him, went out for a run, showered, then went to my parents' house where Mom was hosting a luncheon for all of the girls on her side of the family. The meal was delicious, the company was so enjoyable, and the setting was beautiful. Mom is definitely a mentor to me in being the "hostess with the mostest". That evening, the boys discovered that the Easter Bunny had left their baskets filled with candy on the screened-in porch. They received way too much candy (I will be speaking to the Easter Bunny about this. I think he (she) was craving chocolate when he (she) filled the baskets.), but they were happy boys.

On Saturday, we enjoyed a lazy day at home. My nephew, Jackson, came over to play with the boys. They played Star Wars (dressed up in their various costumes with light sabers in hand to battle), and played computer games. Anderson was having seasonal allergy issues, so in spite of the lovely weather, he was unable to enjoy being outdoors for any length of time.

On Sunday, we did not attend an Easter service, but we spent the day celebrating what Jesus had done for us by giving His life in our sted, conquering death and the grave, and rising again so that we might truly live FREELY! At 11 am, my sisters joined us for an Easter lunch that was oh-so-good! Following lunch, we had an Easter egg hunt in our backyard. It was a beautiful day for it! We all had a wonderful, relaxing time together, and while we paused to ponder the gratitude we feel for all that Jesus has done for us, it was also a time for giving thanks for family and friends. We are so incredibly, lavishly, overflowingly blessed!

(More photos from this weekend to come....)

i've been tagged...

2008-11-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

I've been "tagged" by my blogging sister, Laura, to answer these questions. So, here are my answers:

"The Five"

Ten years ago I:

1. Was over 34 weeks pregnant with Anderson, my first baby, and was developing dangerous blood clots as a result.

2. Was working at the State Employees' Credit Union and was getting ready to quit due to the pain I was in as a result of the pregnancy.

3. Had been married for one year and four months and was the proud mom of a one-year old Siberian Husky named Samson.

4. Had just moved into our first house five months before which was in Holly Springs.

5. Was trying to convince my baby sister that YES, she would find a husband, and NO it wasn't a short boy she had a crush on. HA!

Five Things on my "To Do" list today (and they will probably be there tomorrow):

1. Run

2. Clean

3. Buy a birthday gift for Anderson's friend, Jack.

4. Coach the cheerleaders at their first game.

5. See my dear friend, Kara, who is in town from DC.

Five Snacks I enjoy:

1. Hundred Calorie snack packs (they keep you from snacking too much!)

2. Crackers

3. Apples

4. Cheese sticks

5. Chips

Five Things I would do if I were given a million dollars:

1. Be paying more in taxes (thanks, Obama).

2. Hire a maid.

3. Give at least $100,000 to those who really need it, like widows or orphans.

4. Take Paul on an exotic vacation and let him play golf while we are there!

5. Take my boys around the world!

Five Places I have lived (all in the Raleigh metro area!):

1. Dutchman Downs

2. Penny Road in Raleigh

3. University Towers at NC State

4. Trinity Park Apartments

5. Holly Springs

Five jobs I have had:

1. Secretary for my dad

2. Stay-at-home mom

3. ATM Administrator

4. Book store cashier

5. Accountant

racism and the election

2008-11-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

I did not vote for Barack Obama. That is no surprise to anyone who knows me, yet they also know that if Obama had more conservative ideologies about the role of government in our lives, he would have had my vote. Heck, I would have campaigned for him. In other words, race was never, ever a factor in choosing a candidate. His liberal and sparse voting record, his lack of executive experience, the still "unknowns" about his past, his views on the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all, his controversial opinions on the Constitution, and his desire to weaken our nuclear defense convinced me that Barack was not the candidate I could support.

I wonder how many other voters--for either candidate--allowed race to be a factor in choosing their candidate? I'm sure there were white bigots who would never vote for a black man. I am also sure there were black Americans who voted for Obama simply because they shared a similar skin color, even though they disagreed with him on most of the issues. Racism appears in various forms, and choosing a candidate based on their race is racism, make no mistake about it.

Whites nationally preferred McCain by 12 percentage points, while 96 percent of black voters backed Obama and 3 percent backed McCain, according to exit polls. (Eleven percent of blacks voted for Bush in ’04.) If only 96% of whites had voted for McCain, I would say that black Americans would have a reason to be up-in-arms. (This is a double-standard which troubles me, but that's a discussion for another day.) Did only 3% of African Americans agree with some of McCain's positions, or did they simply want a black man to be elected president?

Regardless of why Obama was overwhelmingly elected by black Americans, it took more than just their vote for him to become our next president. And while I wasn’t one of the white voters who helped him achieve this historical feat, I can honestly say that I am more than pleased with what his election intimates regarding race relations in this country. We have a black president! It wasn’t too long ago in our history that Americans would not have thought this was possible, and his election shows how far whites have come in realizing that race should not be a factor in anything. Period. I was moved to tears right along with other blacks as I have watched them in interviews and news coverage, truly realizing what this election meant for them in particular. I am hopeful that maybe, just maybe, they now feel as American as I do, like they have a part of the pie—an equal share.

And now that we have a black president chosen by many white Americans, the race card—along with affirmative action, the NAACP, the Rainbow Coalition and any other organization that exists “for black people only”--can and should be retired. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton should retire, too! During the campaign, it seemed that even white reporters, news anchors, pundits, etc. walked on eggshells with certain questions or comments for fear of being deemed racist. No more political correctness, please. Can we all just be Americans? I’d even like to drop the titles which precede the word “American”…white, black, Native, Irish, Italian, Jewish, etc. are generally needless adjectives when it comes to labeling Americans. We live in a melting pot of races and cultures which have blended to become one people—American.

In a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith discussed his reaction to Obama’s election. He was clearly moved, as was I, as he spoke about what the election meant for this entire country. He made this statement, which really helped me better understand how many black Americans must have felt as citizens of this country:
"The history of African Americans is such that we want to be a part of America, but we’ve been rejected so much it’s hard to take the ownership and take responsibility for ourselves in this country.” Then, he added this bit of wisdom, and I couldn’t have agreed more. “And it was like at that second, at that moment, all of our excuses were gone."

Amen, brother.

Samson

2008-10-19T15:39:00.005-04:00

Last October, just before Anderson's fall break, Samson--our then ten year old Siberian Husky who was our first "baby" in so many ways--became totally lame. He had struggled with what appeared to be arthritis in his rear hips and legs, and he had lost sensation in parts of those legs as well. For three days, he could not get up, even to go to the rest room, and he was panting heavily--clearly in distress. We took him to the vet, and the prognosis was fairly grim. She tried to comfort us with the fact that one of her cat patients had recovered from this, but if we wanted to put him down, they would do that for us. We opted to wait. We brought him home, cooked him chicken and rice for every meal, and prayed over him.

I will never forget the day we brought him home from the vet and I was sitting in the pinestraw with him crying and praying for God to intervene when Anderson came over, placed his hands on Samson and prayed: "God, if Samson will be able to walk again, please let him walk again in three days. If he won't, then please take him to Heaven to be with you." I asked Anderson after he prayed, "So why did you ask God to do this in three days?" "I don't know," was his reponse, "I guess because the Bible says that 'the Son of Man will rise again in three days'. There's just something about three days'". Well, God answered that child's prayer. Three days later, I look out the window to see Samson walking across the back yard.

This past year, Samson has struggled to walk, but his happy heart and his playfulness have remained. We were so thankful that he was able to walk again that we were not as bothered by the fact that his hind legs were almost crippled. We decided that as long as he was happy, we wouldn't intervene. He was spoiled--getting a lot of chicken and rice and yummy leftovers.

Over the last few months, though, the reality that Samson was an old dog and that his quality of life was diminishing set in. He still whined to go on walks with us but could not make it out of the driveway. We wondered if he would get to the point where he no longer desired to live, and if he did, would we know? We prayed we would never have to make the decision to euthanize him, but we did not want him to suffer in any way.

Our neighbors, Brian and Kim and their sons, Ian and Casey, were a surrogate family to Samson. They always cared for him when we were gone, and even when we were home, they would take him on walks, feed him leftovers, pet him, and play with him. Our fences even had a gate so that their new puppy, Floyd, could come visit Samson and play. Brian called Samson his "buddy", and Samson knew that he was loved by them. No question.

This past Sunday morning, just a week ago today, we left for the airport to go to Disney World. Paul went out in the back yard to feed and water Samson and to tell him goodbye. Samson seemed perfectly fine. Our neighbors spent most of the day outdoors, and at some point during that day, they noticed that Samson seemed sick. He just didn't seem like himself. They gave him plenty of water, but when they offered him treats or even homemade chicken and rice, he refused to eat. By evening, they were very concerned about him. He was panting very heavily and was unresponsive, and Brian felt he needed to get him to the vet as soon as possible. At 6:00, Brian and Kim tried calling Paul on his cell and my parents at their home, but he could not reach any of us. We were checking out the attractions in the Magic Kingdom. Around 7 pm, Paul gets Brian's message, so he returns the call. It was then that Paul learned the heart breaking news. Bennett and I were waiting outside of the Lilo and Stitch attraction when Paul walks up to me and whispers, "Samson passed." Needless to say, we were shocked. We went ahead and told Anderson, even though it was the first day of our long-awaited vacation, because he never likes it when we keep things from him.

We learned that Brian had stayed with Samson for about thirty minutes when he realized Samson was fading. He petted him, loved on him, and reassured him as Samson breathed his final breaths. There is no one on this earth that we would have wanted to be with Samson during this moment more than Brian if we couldn't be there with him because Brian loved him so much. It brought great comfort to know that Samson went quickly and didn't seem to be in any pain and that someone he loved kept him company in those final moments.

Brian insisted on burying Samson for us, even though Paul repeatedly told him we would pay someone to come take care of him. Brian refused saying that Samson was his buddy and he wanted to do it. We live in some of the hardest clay on the planet. I can only imagine how long it took Brian and his sons to dig a hole deep enough to accomodate a 75 pound dog under an oak tree with roots! But they did it, and they outlined his gravesite with bricks so we would always know exactly where he was buried.

In the grief that you feel when you lose your beloved family pet, we have found solace in knowing that the blessings of God have been ours in abundance. Samson lived to be an old dog--eleven years old. God gave us an entire year to prepare for his passing, and that made such a difference in our grief. I always dreaded watching him die or going through the burial process because that has always been so difficult for me with previous pets. Mercifully, I was spared this part of the experience this time, and I am grateful.

One of the greatest blessings to us has been the love and service of our neighbors, the Baileys. Truly, Paul and I cannot think of another family outside of our own that has constantly demonstrated the love of God Himself to us. Galatians 5:14 says, "The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" The Baileys have certainly fulfilled that to us.

Because we wanted to enjoy the rest of our trip to Disney World (which was so much fun and worthy of a post of its own), we postponed the grieving process as much as we could. When we drove in the driveway Friday night, Samson's absence at our fence was more than noticeable, and Paul's words from the night we first learned Samson had died echoed in my mind: I miss my dog.

Sure, people who don't have pets cannot understand that when a dog becomes your pet, he isn't just a dog. He's a family member. And as silly as it may even seem to some, you do grieve their loss in a similar way to the loss of any other loved one. I do believe dogs go to Heaven. Scripture says in Ecclesiastes that we don't know what happens to the beast when it dies, but I believe that dogs have spirits, and spirits live on. It brings me comfort to imagine that Samson can run again...something he has wanted to do for a long time and something he and I did together for years. And I believe he, along with Marcy, Amos, Jada, Nic and Katie will be waiting for me when I get there, too.

Bennett never called Samson by his name. He called him "good dog" because that is what he always heard us say to Sammy. I think that is fitting because in addition to being our friend, playmate, running companion, and guard dog, that was exactly what he was.

A good dog.

back to the blog

2008-09-13T10:44:00.003-04:00

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have posted! I feel like the last few months have been quite a whirlwind of all kinds of activities. I could write for days about all of the experiences of our family, but I don't have the time to do that, and you don't have the time to read it! So, here is a quick recap:

The summer's end was here before we were ready for it. We spent the last week of Anderson's summer break at the beach. We had lots of fun hanging out with Anna and Jackson. Paul continued to play golf, of course, throughout the remainder of the summer, and even Anderson joined in again for his summer golf league. He won the individual championship of his golf league, beating all of the age groups four out of six matches, and I think he may have won his age group every match. He was very excited about that. During his last match, he shot a legitimate par, which is pretty amazing for a nine-year old, especially when he rarely practices. He seems to share the same God-given talent for golf with his dad.
Anderson started fourth grade. He really likes Mrs. Mitchell, his teacher, and so do I. We continue to be thankful for Cary Christian School. It has been a good fit for Anderson so far. It motivates him to work hard and do his best, and I see that producing great fruit in Anderson--being more conscientious and responsible. Fourth grade is not easy! We are also thankful for an excellent carpool where we only drive one out of three weeks!
Anderson started football, and Paul is coaching as an assistant again. Our good friend, David Wagner, is the head coach, and his son and Anderson's friend, Wesley, is the quarterback. Anderson is playing wide receiver and running back, and I am happy to announce that he scored the first touchdown of the season this morning, with his team winning 16-0. Paul had to miss the game because he is playing in the Mid-Am tournament at Sedgefield in Greensboro this weekend. He shot one-under yesterday and is two strokes behind 2nd place, but that still leaves him in 12th place as of this morning.
One of the highlights of the last month was when Paul Young, the author of The Shack, came to visit North Carolina and spent the night with us as he passed through Raleigh. He stayed with my in-laws for a couple of nights in Greensboro, and I can't tell you how much we have enjoyed getting to know Paul and building a friendship with him. He is precious. I'm sure I will share more about him in later blogs. In his short time here, he shared very powerful truths with us that have seriously impacted our lives.
We started hosting the college-age family members at our house each Wednesday for dinner. Jordan (who just graduated in May with a CE degree), Ava Michelle (a sophomore in Engineering), and Ross (my cousin, a senior in Engineering) all come to our house for a home-cooked meal. We love having them here. The boys especially love their company and get so excited when they are here.
My dad had a little health-scare in the last few months. Long story short--they found a blockage in his heart, but it turned out to not be in a dangerous area, and he has dramatically changed his lifestyle, particularly his diet. He has lost lots of weight and is feeling better and better. I knew the Lord spoke the Scripture to me immediately when I learned that dad was at the ER with chest pains--"I will perfect that which concerns him." PRAISE GOD! He is doing that...in His way...in His time.
We continue to meet with Kim and Papaw and my parents on Monday nights. We finished studying John and are going to start Galatians. We love our time of fellowship--so real and open, relaxed, and unrestricted. Freedom!
I continue to attend Bible study at Mom's on Wednesdays. We just read "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobsen, and that was a real eye-opener for many. Strange how you can go to church your whole life and not have a genuine understanding and experience of God's abounding love.
Bennett continues to bring joy, joy, joy! He talks a lot, just like his mom. He talks to himself, loves to pretend to read, he sings and hums....just likes the sound of his voice, I think. He loves to play sports with his dad and Bubba, particularly golf!!! He loves to putt!! He also likes to draw, color, etc.--on bathtubs, toilets, walls, and right now--bedspreads. Yeah, my new bedspread.....so I must go take care of my boys. Pray that this stain comes out!!!

I tell you....I am so undeserving of being the mother to such precious boys, so I am particularly glad that God gives us grace--that which we don't deserve!! He has poured His grace all over me in countless ways, and being Mom to Anderson and Bennett and a wife to Paul are just two examples of that.

it's been awhile...

2008-07-27T21:22:00.003-04:00

It's been a month since our last post. I could say that we haven't blogged because we have been busy traveling--to the beach, Greensboro, the beach again, etc. But the truth is, the real reason for not blogging is because I have discovered a new, mindless way to spend my valuable time. It's called Facebook. Yes. I am a big, fat sucker. I now have a belly-full of my own words, which went something like this: "Why would anyone my age be on Facebook or MySpace?" I totally made fun of old fogies (ie--over 25 years old) who had a page on Facebook. Now, I am one of those old fogies. Thanks to my friend, Kara, who had a page on Facebook, admitted that she thought it was a bit silly but that she was able to keep up with old friends this way, I decided to create my own page....and well......now I am hooked. I am having so much fun re-connecting with old friends and keeping up with current ones. I must confess that I rarely get on my computer without logging onto FB because it is now my homepage.

So, now that I have been facebooking for several weeks, the novelty is wearing off, and I am ready to reclaim my life. And speaking of, it really has been pretty full of adventure this past month. Here are a few highlights.

Paul and I took our boys and joined Anna and Jackson at the beach. We had so much fun hanging out on the beach, building sandcastles, bodyboarding, swimming, and jumping waves (this is one of Bennett's favorite activities).

We left the beach, spent one night at home, and then headed for Greensboro for a golf tournament. Paul shot a 64, a personal best. We hung out with the Brewer Bunch, went to a birthday party for our nephew, Samuel, and enjoyed playing in Grammy's pool. I got to do some shopping at Friendly Center, and I always love that.

We returned from Greensboro, spent a few days at home, then Anderson, Bennett and I returned to the beach with Anna and Jackson. So much fun.

I'll post pictures later. Right now, I need to put some boys to bed.

the start of a new season

2008-06-26T08:54:00.002-04:00

It is the start of another golf season for me. Our first match is this evening. I am very excited. My dad is the coach, and we have a decent team. But there are some hard teams in our league!

almost the end, by anderson

2008-06-25T00:01:00.002-04:00

Anderson would like to post another blog tonight. He is handwriting his blogs, and I am typing them for him. Here is his latest:

I am almost on my last month of summer vacation. I am really sad. But there will be exciting things in fourth grade. I am excited to learn about bugs and machines. But I will always be looking forward to the next summer.

the big game, by anderson

2008-06-24T23:49:00.002-04:00

This post is written by Anderson. He has taken a new interest as a contributor to our blog, and I am thrilled about it. He asked if he could write this blog, so here it is:

Today the whole family on the Thompson side played a baseball game. It was a blowout. Anyway, my team won, and I hit one homerun over the fence. In the whole game, there were five homeruns, but there were a few problems. Andrew ran the racecar over where we played and Bennett, of course, wanted to play, too. It still was a fun game.

a brief farewell to ava michelle

2008-06-24T23:36:00.002-04:00

(Yes, the title of this blog rhymes. It's intentional.)

I don't think I have had a moment to even blog about the fact that Paul's baby sister, Ava Michelle, has been living with us for the majority of the past five weeks as she attended summer school at NC State. She is a rising sophomore there, and "as smart as a whip, as my parents would say. She is most likely majoring in Industrial Engineering, and this summer she wanted to go ahead and get another calculus class and an intro to engineering course under her belt before the fall semester.

Tonight, she had to leave us to return to Greensboro. We are all sad that she is gone. Anderson will no longer have his aunt around to tease, Bennett will no longer have his playmate, and I will no longer have my helper, Guitar Hero band mate and fellow estrogen carrier. It has been really nice having another female around! I've actually had someone to talk to! (Just kidding, Paul...)

Next week, she'll return to housesit for some friends of ours, so we'll have her here to at least hang out some during the day. By the time she returns, Bennett will have asked for "Shell" at least 600 times, Anderson will have asked me every day how many days there are until she returns, and I will have counted them down along with him!

See you soon, Shell. We love you!

ny times on "the shack"

2008-06-24T23:24:00.004-04:00

The New York Times has written about "The Shack", the book that I loved and that God used in so many ways to impact--even change--me.

Thought I'd share....here's the link. Click here:

morning run

2008-06-22T14:27:00.003-04:00

Call me crazy. But I love waking up early in the morning before the boys are awake, soon after the sun has begun to invade the darkness of night. I trade my pj's for a pair of shorts, a tank top, socks and a running bra. I then lace up my running shoes, stretch the muscles which have been relatively motionless for hours, and I head out of my front door to run the winding streets of my quiet neighborhood.

I especially love running on a summer morning. Daylight spills upon our part of the earth as early as it ever will; people are less motivated to start their days early when the children are not in school; since the sun has yet to heat the earth, the humidity is lowest at this time of the day; and I have a nutritious breakfast waiting for me at the blackberry bushes which line the streets by our neighborhood's common areas. Right now, they are deliciously sweet and restore my energy during a longer run.

Particularly on Sundays, there is a stillness and a silence at daybreak that I revel in. My neighbors are asleep, and I have the privilege of being the first to enjoy the day. My own thoughts, which are often prayers--just a mental conversation with God--are the loudest sounds I hear. Beyond that, there is always a soft symphony of birdsongs and the occasional scurry heard in the nearby woods made by a playful squirrel or frightened rabbit. And of course there are the faithful sounds of my beloved hobby--my breaths coupled with the rhythmic patter of my shoes upon the pavement.

The wildlife, aware that humans have yet to stir in their nests, are the only creatures who are awake before I am. As I run past the pond that is behind our house, I often meet a family of deer on its way to their watering hole. No matter how many times we have met, they remain skeptical of me, and by the time I am within one-hundred yards of them they sprint, leaping high into the air with their white tails flashing, for the safety of the woods.

Just a few weeks ago, I came upon a fox who had its breakfast in its mouth, probably a rabbit or rat. I did not have the proximity nor adequate daylight to give an accurate account, but I felt very sorry for its victim. And then I thought of the Elton John song, "Circle of Life", and remembered that even the fox must eat, too. I kept a respectful distance from the fox as he looked at me and I looked at him. We paused, then decided that we would avoid one another. I was especially grateful for his evasion of me as I had heard that several foxes were rabid in our area.

I have been a faithful runner for the last 14 years, and I often joke that I will be running when I am 85 years old. I may laugh as I say it, but I mean it. It is one of the few goals I have as a runner--to run for the rest of my life. I am not out there each morning to train for a race or to increase my pace or distance. I am out there for the joy of it. (And, to be honest, to maintain a healthy, strong body and the same pants size.) I may be addicted, I admit. But what better addiction is there? Every morning, I wake up to get my fix. And along the way I get the opportunity to rejoice in a new day along with the wildlife, to see and hear the beauty of God's creation, to enjoy a rare moment of solitude, and to keep my body in tip-top shape.

Tomorrow morning, at daybreak, I'll have the option of another hour of sleep or a run through my neighborhood. If you have read this blog, you know why I'll opt for the latter. And with all that is waiting for me, why wouldn't I?

showering love

2008-06-20T18:37:00.006-04:00

Most of the people who actually keep up with us through this blog know about my dear friend, Stacy (aka--Aunt Stacy to my boys). Stacy and I have been friends since the 8th grade, and even though she has been living in Charleston for years now, modern technology has made it easy for us to remain the best of friends. She owns Lady Fingers Confections in Charleston where she makes these amazing cakes and desserts. My waist line benefits from the fact that I live far enough away that I can't just stop by her shop every day!

Anyway, our other friend since the 8th grade, Kara, along with Stacy's sister, Jenny, and another friend, Heather, all hosted a baby shower for Stacy last weekend at my house. We had SO much fun! Below are pictures of the grand event that some of my friends who were not at the shower were interested in seeing. As you can see, we had a ball helping Stac get prepared for Miss Vivien to be born!

This is the table setting. The centerpiece is a storage box with the word "BABY" on it, and inside is Ms. Hattie, the frog in a pink gingham dress, and she is flanked by two pink potted flowers.

This is the dessert station. My mother makes the best vanilla-almond pound cake ever, so she made one for the party. We wanted a homemade, southern dessert in keeping with the theme of the shower (A shower for Vivien Lee who will live in Charleston....). We served the cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

Here is an old-fashioned baby carriage that has the party favors in them. We made lemon cupcakes and coconut cupcakes and boxed them up, tied them with the ribbon we used throughout the shower, and put a printed label on them which read, "Your gifts and your presence have blessed Stacy so, Our token of thanks is this sweet treat-to go!"

My philosophy on throwing a great party is this: Love. Do whatever you can to make your guests feel loved, like they are blessed to be in attendance. And I believe love is in the details. On the back of the placecards which indicated what each dish was, we put baby Vivien's monogram.

Look at the stash! Stacy is well on her way to being fully prepared for Vivien's arrival.

When guests arrived, we had them place their gifts on the screened-in porch where there were drinks waiting for them. We served mimosas garnished with an orange and a yummy pink punch, in honor of the baby girl.

Here are the shower hostesses with Stacy and her three nieces. The following photo is the "three amigas"...is there anything better than (almost) life long friends? One of life's greatest gifts, I think, is to have a friend who has known you forever.

The hostesses gave Stacy a laundry basket (with a LOT of help from Julie, Stacy's mom) that was lined with a pink toile fabric that Stacy is using in the nursery. We gave her all kinds of things for the baby, all attached by a laundry line and clothes pins (which had adorable flowers glued to them....again, it is the details that matter!) Here our guests all hold the clothes line and ooh-and-aaahh over the baby girl stuff.

I love parties like these. They remain forever etched in your memory because they are commemorating such a special time in someone's life. Vivi will be 25 years old, walking down the aisle with her dad at her side and her groom before her, and I will still recall this party and think, "It seems like just yesterday...."

myrtle beach-part 2

2008-06-17T14:49:00.007-04:00

While we were at Hard Rock Park, Paul and I ended up riding the swings with Anderson, since Anderson had already ridden the swings several times alone, and Paul ended up not feeling so well after that.

Bennett enjoyed riding the carousels at both Hard Rock Park and at the Pavillion.

Because we had just eaten lunch, I opted out of the "spin" rides. Here are Paul and Anderson preparing for a very rocky, twirling taxi ride.

As much fun as we had at Hard Rock Park, the boys actually enjoyed racing remote controlled race cars at Broadway at the Beach the most. In fact, Paul won five races in a row, which meant he was forced to retire for an hour, and then Anderson ended up being the champion. Forever the competitors, they wanted to race these cars every night we were at the beach. The owner was kind enough to allow Bennett to "drive" while his dad and brother actually raced.

Here is a Paul getting ready to shake hands with his opponent after he secured the championship. Can you see the joy on his face???

Of course, during our trip we had to eat seafood, being that we were at the coast and the boys are absolutely crazy about shellfish. So, since we were staying at Anderson's Ocean Club, we decided to eat a few blocks up at Bennett's Calabash Seafood. The boys ate their weight in crab legs, and Bennett was very fond of hushpuppies. Only he didn't understand that he didn't need to put the entire hushpuppy in his mouth.

Even though we had plenty of "outings", we did get in plenty of beach time. My favorite part of the entire trip was waking up early to go run and workout in the gym and then take a long walk on the beach before the boys were awake. Here is a photo of one of those mornings.

And here are some photos of us enjoying the sand and sea. (Of course, Bennett did not like the sand at first. He refused to walk on it.)

Finally, we enjoyed taking a few black-and-whites of the boys on the beach. Here are a few...

trip to myrtle beach-part 1

2008-06-17T11:34:00.010-04:00

We took a vacation down to Myrtle Beach the first week of this month. We stayed at the Anderson Ocean Club, which just opened in '07, and we were pleased we chose this particular resort. The condo was beautiful (lots of gorgeous cherry furniture, plasma tv's, and granite everywhere!), the amenities were nice (a great spa, nice workout room, several pools, a lazy river), and the hotel is in a great location (right on the beach, just a few blocks from Broadway at the Beach). Here are a few pictures taken at the hotel.

It was a relaxing vacation, even though we stayed busy keeping the boys entertained. Our first full day there, we visited the new Hard Rock Park, and it was especially enjoyable because it was not the least bit crowded, even though we were there for one of their "grand openings". We rode most of the rides. Paul and I rode The Led Zeppelin roller coaster, and I'd say it is pretty intense. Anderson loved The Eagles roller coaster and the swings the most.

Anderson enjoyed going on his first ropes course while we were at Hard Rock Park. Here is a photo of his experience:

Bennett rode his very first roller coaster! That's right. We were foolish enough to take him on a children's coaster. The ride ended at just the right time--just when he was turning up that bottom lip and starting to have tears well up in his eyes! He did enjoy some of the other kiddie rides, though.

hole-in-one!

2008-06-17T11:23:00.002-04:00

Paul shot a 68 and had a hole-in-one on Sunday, Father's Day! It was hole #15 at his home course, a distance of about 220 yards. He ended up winning money because he beat his opponents, but the tradition at golf clubs is that if you get a hole-in-one, drinks are on you at the club house. So, basically his earnings went towards paying that tab. He also won a $200 gift certificate at the club house for making the hole-in-one. This was especially sweet as he played in the NC Amateur Championship on Thursday and Friday and didn't play as well as he would have liked.

We are so happy for him. We know there is nothing we could have given him on Father's Day that would have made him as happy as this.

he's qualified

2008-05-22T16:05:00.004-04:00

Today it became official. Paul played in a qualifying tournament today at Brier Creek, and his score secured him a place in the 48th North Carolina Amateur Championship which will be held at Raleigh Country Club June 12-15. He is, of course, thrilled to have "made the cut" and is excited about playing in this tournament.

Yes, he's been playing quite a bit of golf this year. Anderson and I know this is a great passion of his, and God has certainly gifted him to play this game. As long as he puts in good quality time with the boys and gives me shopping days and mani-pedi days, we are more than happy to support his pursuits in golf. He won't find more devoted cheerleaders anywhere else!

castle bay golf tournament champ

2008-05-16T22:37:00.003-04:00

On May 4th, Paul played in the Carolinas Golf Association one-day tournament at Castle Bay Country Club in Hampstead. I am pleased to announce that he won the tournament! I think he shot a 71. He plays in a two-day tournament this weekend at Keith Hills, so he is hoping to win that one as well.

Here's a picture of our champion that was posted on the CGA website.

Prince Caspian

2008-05-16T22:19:00.002-04:00

Tonight, Bennett saw his first movie in an actual movie theater! Paul, Anderson, Bennett and I saw the movie, Prince Caspian, together tonight, and we all loved it. Bennett sat through most of the movie, but Paul was kind enough to take him out for a diaper change and to play "dames" (aka games) in the arcade when he got wiggly. This was a sacrifice for Paul as he knows how much Anderson and I LOVE The Chronicles of Narnia. Anderson made sure he read Prince Caspian himself before we saw the movie, and since it has been awhile since I read it, I had to keep asking Anderson questions during the movie. Thankfully, he was fairly patient with me.

Anyway, we highly recommend this movie and the book! If you aren't familiar with The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, read them!

I'm still in love with Aslan. His character is based on Christ, and his love and power in the stories make me cry every time.

my (guitar) heroes

2008-05-08T20:41:00.004-04:00

Most everyone under the age of 35 knows about the video game "Guitar Hero" for the Nintendo Wii. Our entire family loves playing this game. In case you don't know how to play, you have a guitar that is synchronized with a video where you "rock out" to various songs, playing the notes as they are given to you on screen. The more accurate you are, the higher your score.

Bennett has now learned how to join in the fun. He gets Anderson's old toy guitar while Anderson plays the game and pretends as though he is playing right along. Actually, I am pretty sure he thinks he IS playing along. Anyway, here is a photo (although a little blurry) of them playing together.

lotsa boys...

2008-05-03T22:31:00.003-04:00

Today the testosterone-to-estrogen balance in my world was even more lopsided than usual. My two nephews, Jackson and Andrew, came to play at our house.

We went to Jackson's tee ball game late this morning and had lunch with the entire family (minus Paul who was golfing and Christopher who was working in the yard). All of the grandsons then went to Anna's house to play but ended up with me after Bennett woke up from his nap. We finished off the day with hot dogs and strawberry shortcake at Laura's house where the boys continued to play. We all should sleep well tonight with all of the outdoor playing that went on today.

I took some pictures of the boys while they played today. Andrew still doesn't like to smile for my camera, but he really is a happy kid! Evidently, "Nanny" has figured out how to get him to do it, but I haven't.

gone fishin'

2008-05-02T07:58:00.002-04:00

I just had to officially document a momentous occasion in our family which occurred yesterday evening. Both Paul and Anderson caught their first large-mouth bass in our pond (Anderson caught one, Paul caught two). Believe it or not, I was the first to catch one in the family while fishing just before Bennett was born. None of us have caught the "big one" yet, but we'll keep casting our lines every chance we get.

I'm sorry to say that no photo could be taken of the fish since I was in the kitchen cooking dinner at the time, but I'm sure once the boys catch a sizeable bass, they will keep the fish out of the water long enough for a snapshot.

proud parents

2008-05-01T19:53:00.002-04:00

Today, four bluebird babies hatched from their eggs!!! They are so ugly yet so adorable! They are tiny gray "things" with very little hair whose beaks appear to be the biggest part of their bodies! I told the boys that we could only check on them once a day so that we don't disturb Mama Bluebird too often, but I have been sneaking out the door several times this evening to make sure all is well in the nest. There is still one egg that hasn't hatched.

Both Mama and Papa are tending their babies. I know this because Mama flies out of the nest each time we open the front door. Even though she seems to trust me, when I brought the camera out tonight to try getting a picture of her babies, she summoned Papa, and he perched on the tree by the porch, then starting flying about and chirping loudly like I have never heard before. I assured them I just wanted a photo, took the picture, then left them alone for the night.

Here are pictures of our new neighbors, the Bluebird family. Some are blurry, but at least you can see "our babies"! They were all taken in the evening when the lighting is not at all favorable for clear pictures with our camera. One picture is of the eggs, one is of Mama, and the other is a picture of the newborns.

they're right here...in black and white

2008-04-29T22:10:00.002-04:00

While the boys were playing on the playground at "Broadway at the Beach" in Myrtle Beach, SC, I decided to turn on the black-and-white photo feature and snap some pictures of the boys playing. Bennett was the most willing to let me take his picture, thus the reason why there are more pictures of him than anyone else.

not your average museum

2008-04-29T21:49:00.003-04:00

If you have never been to the children's museums in Greensboro or in Wilmington, I highly recommend them. They are a far cry from the museums of my childhood--where you had to be quiet and not touch a thing. In fact, I'm not sure these qualify as "museums" when everything within them is meant to be played with, beaten on, thrown, etc. and whispering is not in any way expected.

The boys especially liked cooking in the kitchen and serving me their dishes. I, of course, loved sitting at the tiny table ordering cheeseburgers, pizza, and lots of desserts! Our other favorite part of the musuem was the stage and karaoke section, which is where Anderson became even more of a clown than usual.

Above are pictures of the boys playing at the museum in Wilmington. (Paul and I played, too.....there just aren't a lot of pictures of that. :))

for the birds

2008-04-29T21:29:00.004-04:00

Here are photographs of the boys feeding seagulls from our balcony at the beach. Anderson and Bennett LOVED watching the birds catch pieces of saltine crackers in their beaks. Their acrobatics and maneuvering were highly entertaining. Paul and I were just thankful no bird poop ended up on anything or--more importantly--anybody.

remembering spring break

2008-04-29T21:15:00.003-04:00

On March 15th, I blogged about our adventures at the beach. Just to recap, we had a wonderful, relaxing week at the coast until Bennett contracted the rotavirus, which Anderson later got and ended up in the hospital.

Anyway, the enjoyment we experienced as a family was priceless and was actually documented on my camera. I finally downloaded those photos tonight, so it was a sweet time for me to be able to look at them now and reflect not only on our vacation but on how grateful I am for our good health.

I thought I'd share some of our photos on the blog. There wasn't a soul around to take a photo of all of us together on the beach one morning, so here are two pictures of Paul and me with our boys.

lotty dotty, we like to potty

2008-04-22T19:03:00.002-04:00

Today I purchased a toddler potty for Bennett. He has been telling me for weeks now when he needs to use the bathroom--not consistently, but regularly--so I thought I should go ahead and let him try with a potty of his own. I purchased one that my sister, Laura, recommended. It is the Fisher Price potty that makes noises, has a pretend flushing handle and toilet paper roll, and praises the child whenever they use it. It also sings songs about flushing and toilet paper use. It's a pretty clever little potty, I must say.

Anyway, I can't get Bennett off of it! He keeps telling me "poop, poop" just so I will let him go sit on it. He actually did do #1 in it today, so I clapped and praised him right along with the potty. However, as soon as I put him in the bath tub for a bath, he did it again. Oh well--we're making progress. He cried for several minutes when I finally made him get into the tub, telling me, "poop, pee!" I then put him back on the potty, but he just smiled, sat there, and flushed the handle a few times.

Maybe it is just the fact that this is a new toy that has made him so enthusiastic. I just hope and pray the enthusiasm continues. If not, we'll postpone potty training until he is ready.

squirrels

2008-04-22T06:47:00.003-04:00

I consider myself to be someone who loves animals and has a genuine concern for their welfare. For example, when Anderson holds a caterpillar too tight or catches a lightning bug heavy-handedly or steps on ants just because they are crawling across the driveway, I scold him and tell him to respect the fact that God has given these creatures life by not killing anything needlessly.

Well, sometimes I think I may know of one creature that can be an exception to this rule: Squirrels.

Yesterday morning, Anderson and I left for school when a squirrel ran out in front of my car, darting wildly back and forth and back and forth so that it seemed that no matter what I did, I would run over him. Fortunately for him, I managed to slam on brakes and avoid him, saying to myself more than anyone else, "Stupid squirrel." Anderson heard me and he actually chided me, "Mom! Their brains are like the size of a nut! They don't know any better!"

Okay, so he had a point. They do, after all, seem to always be running about, scared, confused, even panicked. But then I started thinking that it would be far better for me to run over a squirrel than to wreck trying to avoid it.

My dad has a method for approaching squirrels in his car: He aims right for them. He actually tries to run over them. And you know what he discovered? When you do that, you miss them. It's when you swerve to avoid them that they run under your wheels.

So yesterday afternoon, we are driving down Penny Road on our way home from school when a squirrel darts across the road, and I am certain that the car in front of us is going to hit him. I think, "Can't you squirrels just learn to look both ways, for the love of Pete?!!!!" I wince, my eyes squinted, knowing I will witness this squirrel's demise when suddenly, the squirrel leaps high up in the air, barely missing the car's front left wheel, and manages to make it across the road. Shew. That was close. I was thankful my eyes were spared, but you know I was thinking the exact same phrase I uttered that morning...

Stupid squirrel.

scary karate

2008-04-18T20:57:00.003-04:00

We went to Karate International tonight to see our good friend, David, get his black belt. We were so excited to watch him finish some of his testing, some of which included breaking boards, bricks (even with his elbow), fighting an opponent, etc. Supposedly, it was really fun to watch. But I didn't get to see it. Neither did Bennett.

When we arrived, Laura, his wife, greeted us and pointed out where she had saved us front row seats. I thought, "Great. Bennett will have a close view of everything and will be very entertained."

Well, as soon as David took the floor for his first demonstration, he yelled out a loud, "HEE!", during one of his moves, and Bennett started shaking. Then, it happened again. "HAAAA!" Bennett started crying. Loudly. So, I get up and take him to the back row, thinking he would regain his composure. Nope. Instead, with the next, "Yaaaa!", Bennett was screaming! I had to leave the building because no matter where I went, he was still crying and terrified. The audience seemed to be laughing at Bennett more than they were watching the demonstration, so I felt horrible for distracting David during his routine!

I comforted Bennett by holding him tightly, whispering "it's okay, they're just playing" in his ear, and taking him outside to play next to the parking lot (which wasn't safe at all). About fifteen minutes later, I returned to find that David was getting ready to spar with an opponent. As soon as the first "HAAA!" was uttered, Bennett was distraught all over again. The audience again began to laugh, and as I ran for the door, I was also frantically trying to get Paul to understand I needed keys to the car.

Even though Bennett and I spent the evening in the van alone, it wasn't all bad. I sat in front of the Mexican grocery store next door and translated all of their advertisements in my head.

I discovered two things tonight that I won't soon forget. One, my Spanish isn't quite as rusty as I thought. Two, when it comes to extracurricular activites Bennett might be interested in, karate will not be one of them.

wild man

2008-04-17T21:18:00.004-04:00

This afternoon, after school, I took Anderson to the doctor for a check-up for his seasonal allergies. It has been years since we have had to go to the doctor for this as he has managed to make it through the last few springs without complications. This spring, however, has been difficult. His respiratory system seemed to be very agitated by the allergens outside, and I ran out of albuterol--which helps greatly--so we went in to get new refills and to re-evaluate his condition. Thankfully, Anderson seems to have less and less of a reaction each Spring, and like Paul and I did, he will outgrow this.

Now, to the point of this blog...

You would not believe how hyper my normally laid-back, relaxed child was at this appointment! First of all, I should have known that taking him somewhere that he must sit still after he has been on his best, relatively restrained behavior all day at school where they are taking their end-of-year tests, was a mistake. You would have thought he had been bound and gagged in a cage all day long. Here are just a few of the things he did during the appointment.

1. We arrive at the doctor's office where he is looking at the fish in a large tank in the waiting room, and he is describing them to me in such a loud voice that you would have thought I was sitting clear across a rather large room. In fact, I was only five feet away.

2. He starts tapping on the glass at the fish and making faces at them, when the sign near the tank clearly says, "Please do not tap on the tank."

3. In the exam room, the nurse is asking me questions about his symptoms. He is climbing up the ladder to the tall exam table, then climbing down, then sitting next to me, then leaning on me, then kissing my arm, then laying on me, then flipping through a book, then playing with a toy filled with wooden beads, then loudly swinging the beads back and forth. All of this happened in a matter of two or three minutes. After grabbing him, patting him, then almost pinching him to give him the hint, I finally had to pause from my conversation to tell him to STOP!

4. When the nurse leaves, I tell him that he has to settle down and act like he has been out in public before. He acts like he understands what I am saying, but then he stands up by the door and starts dispensing antibacterial liquid which hangs from the back of it. He then turns and puts one leg up on the step stool while keeping the other on the floor. He takes this pose, straight out of the painting of George Washington and his men on the Delaware River, and loudly exlaims, "Crossing the Delaware"! (Crossing the Delaware is the name of the picture I am pasting above. What can I say? He's learning a lot of U.S. and art history at school.) So at this point, I am now laughing uncontrollably.

5. When the doctor comes in, he does his exam, then Anderson proceeds to crawl off the table, then sits next to me, then leans on me, then repeats part of #3 above. I know he was thinking Anderson must be hyperactive. I would have.

6. Next, we go see the asthma specicialist where he sits and doodles on a magnadoodle board. Since he is sitting between the specialist and me, I had a difficult time listening. He begins to jab the board with the pen, all the while his legs are swingingly rapidly under his chair. He then jumps up as he spies, out of the corner of his eye, a Mr. Potato head with various removable parts on her shelf. If she was testing him for ADHD, he would have been off the charts today. At this point she tells me that if a child uses their inhaler and doesn't inhale but instead swallows, it makes them hyperactive because it is a shot of adrenaline. I think she suspected Anderson had swallowed albuterol. I didn't inform her this wasn't the case and opted to let her believe that if she wanted.

7. We walk out of the specialist's office to get some free samples and dosing instructions. Anderson is hopping on and off a scale trying to weigh himself (even though he had just been weighed), flipping the nobs back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. By this point, I basically jerk him off the scale and escort him to the check-out area.

8. Unfortunately, they weren't sure if his prescriptions had been issued, so we had to wait in the check-out area. Meanwhile, Anderson found another wooden bead game which he was flipping up and down and around, over and over again. I was too tired to reprimand him at this point. His energy had sucked the life out of mine.

Needless to say, when we got home, he headed straight for the playset in the backyard and played for awhile. He needed it. And even more so, I needed it.

chicks dig bennett

2008-04-16T20:17:00.000-04:00

papa bluebird & high fives

2008-04-15T17:19:00.003-04:00

Guess who we discovered today perched in a tree branch just beyond our front porch? Papa Bluebird! He and Mama were keeping vigil on the tree, watching the nest closely which now has two blue eggs in it!!

I decided to move the wreath while both birds watched because of our concern for their safety and the cleanliness of our front door. We hung the wreath over the bench which sits between the two front windows, and it looks nice there. After Paul and I moved it, I went inside to watch what the birds might do next. I wanted to be sure they found their nest. I waited about five minutes, and Mama (she's a tiny bit smaller than Papa, I think) returned to the nest in its new location. I was relieved. I wanted to be sure they didn't abandon their nest.

On an entirely different note, Bennett is really into giving high fives lately. I am writing this primarily for the benefit of my sisters and their children, just so they know there is a difference between a high five and a swat. Sometimes when he gets excited, he starts swatting towards you, which at first made me concerned that he was trying to hit people! But then Paul told me he wanted a high-five (I assume this was something the boys had been doing when I was not around), and sure enough, that was what he was doing. He goes around the room high-fiving us all and squealing in delight.

mama bluebird update

2008-04-14T21:28:00.002-04:00

There is one beautiful blue egg in the nest on the wreath (see previous post)! The mama bird perches on the tree limb not far from our front porch. She watches her nest stealthfully, and she watches me as I peak in it. I talk to her every day, reassuring her that I won't disturb her nest. I lifted Anderson up this afternoon so he could have a peak at the egg. Paul is worried that a bird will fly in the house if I don't move the wreath, but Anderson and I are a little concerned about moving it now--we don't want the mother to abandon her nest at this point.

I think for now these bluebirds have found a home.

the masters

2008-04-13T21:05:00.004-04:00

Today was an especially enjoyable one from start to finish--for me, because it started with a quiet, peaceful early morning run, and for the boys, because it ended with golf!

I squeezed my run in before any of the boys were awake, and when they awoke upon my return, I cooked breakfast and then joined my mom and sister for a walk. The temperature was cool (in the 50's), but the sun was bright, so it was a perfect day to exercise.

This afternoon our friend, Kim, brought her daughter, Chelsea, and her grandson, Jordan, over for a visit. Jordan is a month and a half older than Bennett, so they had a ball playing on the play set in the backyard and in the playroom. Before they left, Jordan even gave Bennett a hug on his own intiative. It was precious! Sadly, Jordan will be returning to his home in Massachusettes on Tuesday, so it will be awhile before their next play date. This was our first time meeting Chelsea (Jordan's aunt), but she will be going to school here next fall, so we look forward to seeing her a little more once she moves back home with her mom.

Around 4:30 we left for the golf course. No inspiration was needed from the Masters Tournament which has been playing on our televisions all weekend long. The boys were all excited to be golfing and because I was going to be their cheerleader and cart driver.

We said that we were going to record the date of this family golf outing for posterity because it was Bennett's first time (outside of the womb) on the course! And you know we are all betting he will be a great golfer! :) He took his Fisher-Price putter out and was thrilled to hit his ball down the fairway and across the greens. He also loved driving the golf cart and scribbling on the score card.

Anderson amazes me at how well he plays golf. Paul spots him three strokes on each hole, and he and Anderson play against one another. Even though Paul shot one under, Anderson beat him by one stroke. He is really going the distance with his shots. Paul said he hit the ball 200 yards on Friday when they played.

It is always fun to watch my husband play golf. He makes it look so easy and effortless, and he looks mighty fine striking the ball. He truly has a God-given gift. Not long ago, his mom found a list of goals he had written when he was a young boy that he wanted to accomplish in his life, and this is what it said:
1. To be a great golfer.
2. To have no more than two kids.
3. To be liked.

Amazingly, by age 31, Paul had accomplished all of those goals.

Tonight, we watched as South African Trevor Immelman put on his green jacket as the winner of the 2008 Masters Tournament in Augusta. I admit I had tears in my eyes as I watched his parents, wife, and young son celebrate his victory. And I couldn't help but secretly dream that one day I would be hugging my husband or sons as they finished their 18th hole and were declared the next Masters champion. Of course, Paul doesn't really aspire for that goal for himself as he has found that as much as he loves golf, he really enjoys the career he has established. But I know that he may live vicariously through his boys should they decide to try to become professional golfers.

Even if my boys never win the Masters or any other professional championship, I could be no more proud of them and thankful for them than I am at this very moment. Paul won my heart on our very first date, and my sons mastered it the moment I first discovered I was going to be a mom. There is no question that they are already "masters" to me.

show-offs

2008-04-10T20:45:00.003-04:00

Tonight, Anderson is requesting my full attention as I reply to e-mails. Paul is tossing up the alley-oop on our indoor Fisher Price basketball goal (which Anderson has had since he could first walk), and Anderson is doing these very impressive back dunks. He loves when I applaud and cheer, and if he doesn't have my direct attention, he reprimands me with, "Mom!"

Well, Bennett has caught on. He has Anderson's "Stormy" Carolina Hurricane mascot in his hands and is calling for my attention, "Mom! Mom!" When I finally look up at him, he tosses his mascot in the air. Of course, I cheer and clap, just like I do with Anderson. And he grins from ear to ear, picks it up, and then the routine resumes.

"Mom! Mom!" Both boys are wanting my attention.

The emails and American Idol can wait...I won't give up the opportunity to cheer for my boys.

persistence

2008-04-10T15:05:00.004-04:00

I have a beautiful white hydrangea wreath that hangs on our front door. It is the first wreath I have ever owned that has been attractive to nesting birds. Last year, I thought it was the two carolina wrens who sleep on the top corner of my front porch who made their attempt at nesting on my wreath. Each day, I would reluctantly undo their efforts by removing straw from the wreath until they finally seemed to get the point--no nests here. My motivation for removing the nest was two-fold: One, I didn't want a bird flying into the house when I opened the door. Two, I didn't want to break any eggs as Anderson is quite experienced at inadvertently slamming the door.

This week, pieces of pine straw which were just placed in the natural areas of our yard are mysteriously ending up in my wreath again. I was sure it was the wrens doing, so again, I removed the straw, apologizing out loud to them as I did it, assuming they were nearby and could hear: "Sorry birds. You just can't build it here." However, yesterday, as I turned the knob to open my front door, a bluebird flew from the wreath and perched on a branch just a few feet from our front porch. I stood there, staring, wondering why a bluebird would build her home in my wreath. I thought bluebirds liked open spaces with few trees. Well, this bluebird likes my wreath. And no matter how many times I have removed the pine straw, within a few hours, the pine straw is back, placed in a circular shape with a small yet deep indention in the middle. It is a perfect nest. It is hidden by the leaves and blooms of the hydrangeas, safe from predators. (Well, Anderson may very well be an unintentional predator with his occasional door slamming.)

This afternoon, as I was sweeping the pine straw off the porch (she makes quite a mess with her nest building), I thought of how persistent this bird has been. Talk about tenacity!! She just isn't giving up. And I'm a tenacious gal, so I haven't given up on removing the nest. Until now. I have to admit--I admire this bird's persistence! It reminds me of someone...it reminds me of us!!

Bennett likes to wade deep in the pond. We tell him not to go any further, so he shakes his head to indicate his disagreement. We snatch him from the pond. He cries in defeat. And then, moments later, he is heading for the water again.

Anderson was probably two years old when he was trying to pedal his tricycle up my parents' driveway, but it had a slight incline, so it was far more difficult to pedal towards the house than away from it. He would ride his tricycle to the end of the driveway, turn around, try to pedal back, and would end up frustrated and in tears. His granddaddy would say, "Let me help you." But Anderson insisted that Granddaddy not help him, and he persisted to struggle to pedal, all the way declaring to his grandfather, "No. My do it! My do it!"

Paul is a persistent golfer. He shoots a 65, and he is on the course the next day, trying to do it again. He shoots an 80, and he is on the golf course the next day trying NOT to do that again.

Anyone who knows me is well aware that I can be hardheaded. You can witness my persistence on any given day, I'm sure. No need to even share my stories, is there?

I should add that it isn't just her persistence that compels me to allow this mama bird to nest in my wreath. I relate to her as a mother. I would go to extraordinary lengths to build our home in the place that was the safest shelter possible for our children. And that is really all this bluebird wants--a safe place to call home.

the pon-pon

2008-04-09T19:13:00.003-04:00

I have previously written about Bennett's love for the pond behind our house, also known as the "pon pon". Actually he loves all ponds--from the big "pon" at the beach to the little "pon" that appears in the cul-de-sac after a good rain. Obviously, he thinks any body of water is a "pon" and enjoys throwing rocks (or seashells) in them all. As soon as Paul walks in the door from work, Bennett starts saying, "pon pon", with the biggest grin on his face, and his finger pointed towards the backyard.

It has become a ritual this week, now that the sun is peaking through the clouds and the temperature isn't frigid, to go as a family down to the pond. Paul carries his fishing rod and lures, still trying to snag a bass. Anderson has now realized the importance of wearing old clothes and shoes as he loves to catch minnows and tadpoles and play on the concrete spillway. (He slipped and fell today and slid all the way to the culverts....it hurt, I could tell, but he was impressed with his sliding.) Bennett stands in the foul-smelling, algae-filled water that reaches mid-calf, dragging a stick through the water, throwing rocks, and spitting in the water. As for me, I fish a little, feed the wild goose that will eat right out of my hand, make sure Bennett doesn't go any further into the pond, and help Anderson clear out the place where the beavers have made a dam.

It is a nice way to spend an evening as a family. With the quiet, peaceful water, the abundant wildlife, and the cheap entertainment for all, these are just some of the many reasons why I am grateful to live where we do.

to grandmother's house we go

2008-03-31T08:59:00.003-04:00

Last Friday (over a week ago now...I am late posting this) we left for my grandmother's home in Troy, which is the county seat of Montgomery County and is located near (or in?) the Uwharrie National Forest. My roots run deep there, probably going back to the Revolutionary War era. Grandma passed away in 2005, but the home where she lived is located about 8 miles outside of town. It is a home surrounded by quiet, tranquil pastures, where cows graze and chickens and ducks roam. It is one of the most peaceful geographical places I have ever known. But that is just one of the many reasons why this place is so very dear to me.

As a child, I spent lots of time with Grandma and Grandpa (my father's parents). They, of course, always spoiled me and made me feel like the most special grandaughter in the world. Grandma made my favorite--French toast--every morning. She also baked homemade biscuits every single day (which I LOVED). Her down-home, country cooking was the best! She would take me "to town" to buy me crayons, coloring books, and toys at the "dime store". I remember her taking me across the street to this soda fountain shop where I had my very first orange ade. SO good! She always stocked her pantry with treats when I would come to her house, and I thank God that at the time I had a young metabolism because it seems like I ate a lot at her house! She would sleep with me each night, and she would "scratch my back" with a pencil to make me go to sleep....I LOVED that. Sometimes, probably exhausted from getting up at 5 every morning, she would start nodding off as I lay across her lap, and I would shake her, "Grandma, Grandma!" Bless her heart...she awoke and resumed her back-scratching, never once complaining.

Grandpa let me ride his horses, even giving me my own horse. (I just "claimed" her, but thankfully, I didn't have to look after her.) Her name was Holly, too, which is why I chose her. She was a large, gray work horse that pulled logs at the saw mills. Grandpa also let me care for Penny, a beautiful copper colored horse with a blonde main, and when she gave birth to a colt, he let me have it, too! I named her Cindy, and she was fiesty! Grandpa always bought toys for the children to keep at his house, just like my dad does for his grandchildren. One Christmas we received a trampoline, and when I told him I wanted a go-cart, he bought one. He also made us a merry-go-round which the horses pulled. He loved making his grandchildren happy!

It was so nice to take my boys to Troy last weekend with my mom and dad. Dad entertained the boys, taking them to the pond to throw rocks (Bennett's most favorite activity these days....he begs Paul every night he gets home to take him to our pond). They also rode four-wheelers and launched rockets. The weather was quite dreary--rainy and unusually cold--but the boys still had a good time.

Paul played in a golf tournament in a town not too far away on Saturday, so my Aunt Anne paid us a visit, and Paul's mom came and spent some time with Mom and me. Her mother was born and raised in this same small town, and many of her aunts and uncles lived there their entire lives. When Paul and I first met, it didn't take long for us to discover that our family histories went back to the same small rural area of North Carolina, so for years we just assumed we must be distantly related. It was a subject that we didn't discuss very much as Paul found it a little embarassing. After doing some research, Dad couldn't find any relation, BUT, while we were in Troy last weekend, Ava showed him the house her mother was born in and it was the same house that my great aunt and her family lived in!!! My dad used to play as a young boy in the same house that Paul's grandmother was born and raised in! Small world, huh?

Anderson just said today what a great time he had at Grandma's house. We are looking forward to going back when the weather is more pleasant to do some four-wheeling, fishing, and hiking!

Just pulling into the driveway last weekend, my mind was flooded with childhood memories, and I couldn't wait to share them with Anderson and re-live some of them with him. I know they say you can never go home again, but when I return to Troy, I do.

ride 'em cowboy (or cowgirl...)

2008-03-25T21:20:00.002-04:00

Friday night Paul and I had a ball hanging out with Ryan and Elisabeth, celebrating Ryan's 30th birthday. All the Brewers were there (minus children), which is a party in itself, regardless of what you are doing. We spent the night in Greensboro without our boys, who were staying with Granddaddy and Granny. They were happy, and so were we as this was our first overnight date in over nineteen months! (We were way past due for this.)

Elisabeth made me proud with her cowboy-themed party. There were cowboy hats, bandanas, a delicious chocolate and vanilla cowboy cake, cowboy cups that said "Kraksa is 30" with a cowboy on it, and delicious "redneck food", as she called it. And, my most favorite part of the party was the mechanical bull!! I only rode it once, as my tummy was not feeling well, but it was much harder than I thought it would be. Paul's brother-in-law, Richard, who is from Alaska approached the bull with his typical frontiersman attitude--he was going to conquer it. I'm not sure how many times he rode it, and I think it is much harder for someone as tall as he to stay on, but by the end of the party, he was "handlin'" that bull. Of course, I don't think any of us rode it even half as fast as it would go, but then again, none of us are even close to being bull riders. In fact, it was pretty hysterical to us that this bull was sitting alongside the golf course at Starmount Forest Country Club in Greensboro....we were a bunch of yuppies trying to act like cowboys.

The pictures posted here are of Paul's parents, siblings, and their spouses, along with pictures of Paul and I riding the bull. I'm saving these--I doubt you'll ever see us on a bull again. Paul was VERY sore the next day!