I love those traits when they produce pleasant results. You know, like when his determination keeps him working at a skill until he has achieved it; when his strong will won't let him back down from failure until he achieves success; when he is driven to learn new things; when he can communicate his feelings effectively so that others can understand; when he gives 100% while playing a game because he likes to win.
But these powers can be used for good or for evil, like when his determination and strong will lead to disobedience; or when his communication skills keep him from filtering and he becomes disrespectful or downright ugly; when his competitive nature urges him to argue that he is taller or older than children who are clearly taller or older than he is. And sometimes we overachievers fall into the trap of thinking we are what we do--that if we "can't get it right", then we are miserable failures unworthy of love and acceptance.
It is a balancing act for us as parents--trying to teach our children that they are not of this world, that they are a part of God's kingdom where NO performance is necessary to obtain love, favor, or acceptance because any branch that clings to a vine WILL naturally produce fruit, and love, favor and acceptance are all a part of an unearned inheritance freely given to us. But, at the same time, we are teaching them to live IN this world, where there is a world's system that often works contrary to Jesus' teachings. They WILL have to perform to make it through school. They WILL have to perform to get into college. They WILL have to perform to get a job. You get my drift....
So yesterday, I got yet another glimpse of how much Bennett really is like his mother. When I went to kindergarten, I already knew how to read and write very well. A kindergarten classmate still teases me to this day about the fact that I used to sit in the teacher's big rocking chair with the class at my feet and read to them on a regular basis so that my teacher could avoid doing her job. Anyway, when I asked my mom recently why I knew how to do those things she replied, "Because you wanted to learn, so you did." I remember being so eager and excited about learning and knowing how to do new things. And I see this in Bennett, which does excite me a little because Anderson was quite the opposite at this age, preferring sports and gross motor development over writing, cutting, drawing, coloring, pasting, etc. It was so difficult to get Anderson intersted in schoolwork at all that I marvel that he is now a very intelligent sixth grader who loves to read and is a very good writer.
Anyway, back to my story...
Yesterday evening, Bennett decides he wants to write his name. I sit with him to do it because he can't remember how to write e's sometimes unless I walk him through it. He must have started his name 4 times, and if he made a mistake on his e's, he insisted on starting over. A little perfectionism? Yep. I recognize that trait, too.
Finally, he wrote his whole name, by himself. The only help he got from me was the reassurance he was doing things correctly. He couldn't have been prouder of his achievement. He smiled from ear to ear. I wish I had a picture of his face when he was done. I don't.
But I do have a picture of his work. Check it out. Not bad for a four-year old newby, right? :) His letters are in order and on a fairly straight line. Like my OCD mother, I admire that straight, neat, orderly style.
So for those moments I have wanted to yank my hair out (or his) during a battle of wills or when his mouth gets him in trouble (as mine always did...and still does), I cherish moments like these when he is an enthusiastic and fun learner, or when he snuggles me at nap time and says, "You are my best Mom", or when he sings a made-up song about how much he loves me, and when I walk in the door and he runs to me with open arms for big hugs. Those wonderful moments far, far, far outweigh the difficult ones, and for that I am grateful. And still sane.
