People tell me on a regular basis that I should write down the things that Bennett says, and I know they are right. I try to blog them from time to time, but really--he says something worth noting on a daily basis, and while the idea of carrying around a pen and pad with me is logical, it is not practical. So, I will joggle my tired and sometimes foggy brain and share a few things he has said lately.
I was feeling insecure about my looks one day as my husband and oldest son proceeded to talk about how beautiful other younger women are while (albeit unintentionally) reminding me that I am now old. You may think that I was just being sensitive as they conversed about a topic that can be a delicate one for women, and yes, I was hormonal, but the truth is that the male species can lack tact and the sensitivity chip from time to time. In other words, it wasn't just me.
Bennett, sensing my insecurity, says, "Mom, you are beautiful. You are beautiful when you dress up to go out to eat. But you know when you wake up in the morning and you have that bad smell, well, you are still pretty then, too."
I have to admit. Laughing was way better than crying, so Bennett really did make me feel ALL better.
And speaking of that bad smell, I overheard Bennett telling his big brother last week:
"Anderson, when you get a girlfriend, you do not want her to spend the night at your house because you do not want her to smell you when you wake up."
And just so you know, Bennett's idea of spending the night is sleeping in the same place, not "shacking up". What he meant was that Anderson would be horribly embarassed if anyone other than his little brother smelled his morning breath.
Yes, Bennett is quite the observant child. And this is truly a gift--noticing details--but it is not always a gift to me.
For example, I was scanning radio stations one day when the song, "Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything." For those who are not familiar, it's a song with a catchy tune and easy lyrics that you want to sing along to and that, from the onset,
seems appropriate for the whole family. Until you get to the verse that talks about sex. So, as I am scanning the radio, it happens to be on that verse. As I quickly try to hit the volume to turn it down, I don't get it down in time. How Bennett knew the word I was trying to avoid him hearing, the devil knows.
Bennett says, "Sex. What's sex?"
"It is a word that little kids don't need to use because it is a grown up word."
"But what does it mean?"
"It means boy or girl, male or female. It is what you are. Another word for it is gender."
Shew. I don't know how long that definition will stick before I get more questions about why he shouldn't use a word that only means "boy or girl", but I will meanwhile be holding my breath.
A week later, the song comes on again. I manage this time to turn the song down for that verse. Bennett asks, "You didn't want to hear the word 'sex', right?"
No, Bennett.
I can hear the word. I mind
YOU hearing it.
I didn't say that, but that is what went through my mind.
I have blogged that Bennett can have a bit of a potty mouth, and by potty mouth I mean he likes potty words like pee and poop. Or fart. That word makes him belly laugh so hard that you can't help but laugh, too, which is absolutely contrary to the reprimand I am simultaneously trying to deliver. It's hard not to send mixed messages when you are threatening a form of discipline while shaking from laughter and biting your lip so hard you think it might bleed.
Which brings to mind two more stories.
Paul and I have always loved the TV series, "Everybody Loves Raymond". We never thought of it being something the kids couldn't see until the kids started watching it. I bought the first two seasons of the series from Target for $15 for us to watch as we drove to Charleston on our trip. Maybe not the best idea. By the end of a four hour car ride, we had this conversation with Bennett.
Bennett says, "Oh my god."
I am horrified. "Bennett! We never, ever, ever, say that. That is called taking the name of the Lord our God in vain. We only say His name when we are talking to Him or about Him. We never say it like that.
Paul says, "Just say, 'Oh my goodness.'"
Bennett says, "Holy crap." (Yeah, thanks Frank)
I say, "NO! That is another one you can't say. Just say, 'Oh my goodness.'"
For the rest of the day, Bennett continues to ask this question:
"So I can't say 'oh my god' or 'holy crap'? I have to say, 'oh my goodness'"?
"Right. You just say, 'oh my goodness.' And don't ask me again what you can't say. Only ask me what you can say because I know you are asking me that question over and over again just so you can get away with saying what you aren't supposed to say!"
Talk about the appeal of forbidden fruit. It reminds me of the time I let Anderson say every bad word he knew in 10 seconds just to show him that the excitement of him saying something he shouldn't was the only reason he wanted to say them. He knew maybe 3 bad words which he repeated several times just to fill up the 10 seconds. But it worked. They lost their appeal.
Okay, last story for this post.
Last month, we went through a McDonalds drive-thru to get the boys some food after their golf match. It is one of those face-to-face McDonalds where you don't order through a speaker but directly to an employee at a window. A sweet black lady leans her head through the window to take our order, and as she does, I notice that she is very eccentric looking. She has long braids (a head full of hair), and she has a bit of a long, rectangular face--a very chisseled looking face that is different. And, bless her heart, she does not have good teeth. She has buck teeth with wide gaps. But in spite of her odd appearance, she wears the most beautiful, friendly smile. Her name tag reads, "Ruth".
As soon as she leans through the window, she looks directly at Bennett who instinctively and quickly jumps back in his booster seat and makes a bit of a scared groan like this: Ooooh! (You would have thought he'd just seen Frankenstein, and I can assure you, she was no Frankenstein. She was, as I said, eccentric looking.) She must have sensed he was frightened because she began to speak to him in a very sweet voice. As soon as I heard his reaction, I turned around to shoot him the dirty look that instantly says, "You better not say another word" and shushed him. Anderson is in the passenger seat looking horrified, not by Ruth but by his brother's embarassing reaction. As Ruth speaks to Bennett, he smiles at her and then even waves. Meanwhile I am just praying that she didn't really notice his initial reaction. I feel terrible.
As we drive away, we wave goodbye and all three of us cordially, almost apologetically say, "Goodbye, Ruth. Have a nice day."
Fast forward a couple of weeks, and we go back through the same drive thru, only this time Paul is with us. I see Ruth poking her smiling face through the window up ahead just as we pull forward. There's no time to prep Bennett for his reaction. I hold my breath. Ruth says, "Hey!", and waves her hand at Bennett specifically. She must remember. I feel terrible. Bennett, the charmer that he is, smiles the biggest smile and says in his sweetest voice, "Hey!" I exhale a sigh of relief. And just as I do, Ruth withdraws her head from the window to grab our food when Bennett delivers this line:
"Daddy, that lady is losing her baby teeth."
Yeah, so much for holding our breaths to refrain from laughter. Paul and I instantly go into the body shakes with air blowing out rapidly between our pursed lips. What's the use? Bennett now knows he has said something funny, and I think he would consider selling a kidney for a laugh. I turn to shush him while Ruth returns to the window to deliver our food. We gather our composure and once again wave goodbye to sweet Ruth.
I said that was the last story, but I can't end this post without sharing a video from two nights ago. Bennett was wound up before bed as kids often are before bedtime. But this night he was fueled by the sweet tea I had allowed him to drink at dinner. (My mistake.)
Bennett LOVES Scotty McCreery (we all do), and one day I noticed that he could sing the chorus of the Montgomery Gentry song, "Gone", that Scotty sang on American Idol, and he did it with amazing precision. It was stunning to me because I knew that he had only heard the song performed on the show a few times, not on the radio, and he knew the lyrics so well. Anyway, I decided to record him singing for me. It'll make you grin. AND you'll see why I was so tired this particular night. Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phiuRvSJD-M
And this is Bennett going down the slide at Cole's pool:
