(Here is our first ultrasound of Bennett. He is the tiny miniature "beanie" baby in the right inside the sac that is shaped like a light bulb.)Elizabeth Stone once said, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
Tonight, I am thinking of my friends who are entering motherhood for the first time. I am so incredibly excited for them because I know all of the wondrous things that are in store. And I am prayerful because I know the challenges that they will face, too. I'm not just referring to the challenges of discipline. For me, I think one of the greatest challenges of motherhood is this: vulnerability.
I was talking with a friend today, and I shared with her the first time I saw Bennett via ultrasound, which was at 7 weeks gestation (I didn't have an ultrasound with Anderson until 16 weeks). As I stared at this beautiful, tiny bean with a heartbeat pounding away, I thought, "That's my baby." The mothering instincts of protectiveness and care emerged full-force and the love....oh the love that settled even more deeply into my heart for that little baby.
It was maybe a week or so later that I started having some symptoms which I had experienced during two previous miscarriages. It was early in the morning, and I awoke to absolute fear. I believe I woke Paul up because I was in desperate need of comfort, and he said something like, "It's okay. God is going to give us a child, don't worry." I started crying at that point, so I struggled to get out my response. "But I want this baby." Thankfully, that is exactly what we got. That baby is now seventeen months old. God is good.
To love someone is to be vulnerable to them, and vulnerability can bring fear. But God has provided an antidote to fear. It's called faith. The day that I thought I might be miscarrying, Paul and I stood on faith. We may not have fully believed that I wouldn't miscarry for the third time in a row, but we believed that whatever happened, we were in good hands, and God would fulfill His promises to us.
So to my new mommy friends, congratulations. I pray that you are filled with faith throughout your pregnancies and especially as you mother your children. You'll need LOTS of it. Just keep in mind that your entrance into parenthood involves a trade: you're gaining a baby and losing your heart. But it is a fair trade, I assure you.
Tonight, I am thinking of my friends who are entering motherhood for the first time. I am so incredibly excited for them because I know all of the wondrous things that are in store. And I am prayerful because I know the challenges that they will face, too. I'm not just referring to the challenges of discipline. For me, I think one of the greatest challenges of motherhood is this: vulnerability.
I was talking with a friend today, and I shared with her the first time I saw Bennett via ultrasound, which was at 7 weeks gestation (I didn't have an ultrasound with Anderson until 16 weeks). As I stared at this beautiful, tiny bean with a heartbeat pounding away, I thought, "That's my baby." The mothering instincts of protectiveness and care emerged full-force and the love....oh the love that settled even more deeply into my heart for that little baby.
It was maybe a week or so later that I started having some symptoms which I had experienced during two previous miscarriages. It was early in the morning, and I awoke to absolute fear. I believe I woke Paul up because I was in desperate need of comfort, and he said something like, "It's okay. God is going to give us a child, don't worry." I started crying at that point, so I struggled to get out my response. "But I want this baby." Thankfully, that is exactly what we got. That baby is now seventeen months old. God is good.
To love someone is to be vulnerable to them, and vulnerability can bring fear. But God has provided an antidote to fear. It's called faith. The day that I thought I might be miscarrying, Paul and I stood on faith. We may not have fully believed that I wouldn't miscarry for the third time in a row, but we believed that whatever happened, we were in good hands, and God would fulfill His promises to us.
So to my new mommy friends, congratulations. I pray that you are filled with faith throughout your pregnancies and especially as you mother your children. You'll need LOTS of it. Just keep in mind that your entrance into parenthood involves a trade: you're gaining a baby and losing your heart. But it is a fair trade, I assure you.
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