in search of a new attitude

In the previous post, I mentioned the old adage, "Some days are better than others." That particular day was a glorious one in the Brewer house. This day, however, is classified near the other end of that spectrum.

Don't get me wrong. We are blessed. We have no complaints of any merit. But today, I ended up catching the Monday Blues, or some other variation or strain of it. Maybe it is fatigue, maybe it is a hormonal swing (though I don't think so), or maybe....I'm just in a funk today. I have vascillated between laughter and tears, gentle whispers and not-so-gentle "voice raising", silence and noise all.....day......long.

It is no surprise, then, that my moodiness affected our classroom today. Somehow, Anderson fell victim to my contagious funk, shedding his own tears and saying, "I don't know why I am crying." He really didn't. I think we were both just exhausted, which meant he was struggling to concentrate at one point during the day. Thankfully, we talked it out, and we were both happy, enjoying school again. We are both committed to making this process as fun and as easy for one another as possible. And that has made all the difference.

Of course, Bennett is sure to have been affected by my mood swings today. He has been more strong-willed and ornery than usual, which, though I am not proud to admit it, has not helped my mood. At all.

In spite of feeling melancholy and tired, there were highlights of our day. One, Paul called and asked if he could take Bennett and me out to dinner. That is always a welcome invitation! Anderson did not go with us because he was with his granddaddy buying a new puppy. (No, not for him. For Granddaddy.) Granddaddy is the proud of owner of the cutest, fluffiest, blackest chow puppy in the world. He really is adorable. We grew up with chows and have always maintained an affinity for this breed.

I am ready to say goodnight to this day and ready to embrace tomorrow and all that it has in store. I am so glad that God's mercy and grace are renewed for me each day. I am thankful that God gives grace where I fall short, mercy when I fall down, and faithful love that I always fall into. I pray that my children, whose forgiveness I have had to ask today as I have not been as patient or as kind as I want to be, will learn in my shining moments how "God stoops down and makes us great" (Psalm 18:35) and in my less-than-shining moments how "God gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

Huh. How about that? Just pausing to reflect--on the day, and on the goodness of the One who gave it to me--has caused me to stumble onto what I was searching for all along. I found a new attitude.