disco and gerno

This evening, after Anderson and I put a homemade pizza into the oven, he started dancing in the kitchen (this time, knowing I was watching) and singing "Burn, baby, burn...disco and gerno..." I started laughing. I asked him, "Anderson, did you think that song was about two people, one named Disco and the other named Gerno?" He started to giggle, knowing he probably wasn't singing the song correctly. I explained to him that this song was actually called "Disco Inferno".

This incident reminded me of being a little girl singing along with my mother's Bee Gee's album to the song "Tragedy", only I didn't think they were singing about something tragic. I thought they were singing about an "allergy". I didn't just make these mistakes as a child. When I was in college, there was a country song to which the words were, "No need to psychoanalyze or have a stiff drink, all she's got to do is just give me that wink." When I first heard it, I thought that this was a typically cheesy country song and that the guy was singing, "no need to suck a lemon or have a stiff drink." My sister, Anna, set me straight on that one before I sang it in front of anyone else, thank goodness. But she couldn't tease me too much because she used to sing the song, "I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, I'm your desire", like this: "I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, I'm joking sire." When I tried to tell her she was singing it wrong, she argued with me, but at that age, it wasn't unusual for us to disagree.

To me there is something so funny about people mispronouncing or misunderstanding a word or phrase. I love when my kids or nephews and nieces do it, but it is especially funny when an adult does it. Anna and I were laughing the other day because she still has two friends who say that they are "flustrated". In case you are one of those friends and happen to be reading this blog, there is no such word as "flustrated". You can be flustered, and you can be frustrated, but if you are both, you are still not flustrated.

If you watch American Idol, did you see one of the first episodes when there was this Egyptian guy trying out for the show who did not speak English very well? Anderson and I were watching it together, and we laughed as this sweet young man said that he was saving himself for a nice girl (which was refreshing to hear, honestly) and that he wanted to love a woman "from her.....hairs (as he grabs the hair on his head with a noticeable hesitation) all the way down to her (and he pauses, trying to find the right word, so he reaches for his toes, but he says....) nipples. OK, I'm sorry, but that was funny. I'm still laughing out loud right now just thinking about it.

I will close by sharing one of my most-embarrassing-misuse-of-a-word stories with you. As many of you know, we grew up in a very tight-laced (which is a polite word for overly religious and uptight) church. We had a youth group that, for some reason, was compromised mostly of adults, meaning we had more leaders than actual youth. Anyway, that's beside the point. We took an annual beach trip, and on one of those trips, I was thrown by two of our youth leaders into deep water where I was accosted by a gigantic jelly fish. My friend, Sarah, knocked the jelly fish away from me when I started screaming, and I managed to quickly make my way to shore. Once there, my youth leader, Kenny (who--surprise--had a very dry, conservative demeanor) asked me what happened. I replied, "I was thrown on a jelly fish, and he started wrapping his testicles around my leg." I will never forget the semi-horrified, semi-amused look on his fair yet sunburned face. And then I realized my mistake. "I mean, his tentacles." I've never been good at concealing laughter, so I laughed hysterically right along with my friend, Sarah. I don't remember Kenny laughing, though. But you know, I guess he wouldn't have thought it was funny that I also sang "let angels prostate fall" in the hymn, "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name". I still have to remind myself to say "prostrate".